Costloads does modal shift

Eye readers are invited to suggest the current mode of conveyance used by Mr Pisspoor.


Shank's Pony seems a safe bet.

Eye welcomes back Adonis - Shocker

(With a bowler tip to the latest edition of New Transit magazine...)

East Coast blows sugar up the Noble derrier...

This with a bowler tip to Anon.

Read carefully...


We are not worthy!

UPDATE: This from A N Other...

As it took over a year to get the EPOS to work at all, I expect we may have this treat for a while.

Of course it may be easier just to change the plaque on the Marsham Street door.

LM Chief Exec blames everyone else

Telegrammed by Golden Connection
Exciting news from the latest splendid edition of New Transit magazine.

In an insightful piece Permatan Rail supremo, Keith Ludeman, reflects on London Midland's Sunday and Rest Day working problems:

"What I find disappointing is it was not sorted out by the time we took the business over. In Southern and Southeastern we dealt with the issue of Sunday working and rest day working years ago, and I don’t know why [previous franchise holder] National Express did not.

"It beggars belief but there you go."

Indeed it does Keith, indeed it does.

But what's this?

Wasn't it London Midland that did a deal which meant all new guards no longer had to work Sundays?

And didn't London Midland also rescinded the long standing arrangements whereby drivers could also work as guards?

And wasn't it London Midland that offered crews double time to work Sundays, then removed the bung and had to promptly reinstate it as Sunday working evaporated?

Nor was Central Trains or Silverlink ever issued with a Remedial Improvement Notice as happened to London Midland only today.

Keith finishes off his puff piece with the self evident truth that "Chief Executives make or break... groups".

Indeed they do Keith. As Richard "call me a villain forevermore" Bowker learnt to his cost.

Rich man robbed - Shocker

This from the BBC...

Scottish transport tycoons Brian Souter and Ann Gloag are alleged to have been stung by a prominent City financier who has apparently disappeared.

Stop sniggering at the back!

Conference news - Unite slams Cameron - Yawn....

Cameron's speech at the Tory Party conference appears not to have played well with the brothers.

Unite joint general secretary, Derek Simpson said, "At the height of the worst recession in decades Cameron said nothing about job creation, nothing about supporting our industries and nothing about reigning in his friends in the city who caused economic meltdown. "

But what's this.

Is this the same Unite who donated almost £4m to the Labour Party last year?

Or indeed the same Unite whose Deputy General Secretary is one Jack Dromey, husband of Cabinet Minister Harriet Harperson, and who is being lined up for the safe Labour parliamentary seat of Leyton and Wanstead.

Indeed it is.

First for tact

No doubt regular Eye readers will have fond memories of Sir Moir's lovely book.

No matter.

Today is a great occasion!

And one that First's PR and Puffery machine marked with this wonderfully 'icky making nonsense:

Chief Executive of FirstGroup, Sir Moir Lockhead, paid tribute to his wife... as he visited a national photography exhibition that features a portrait of (errr....) himself!


Meanwhile the rest of the industry quietly observed a more solemn anniversary...

Captain Deltic derailed?

This from Roger Ford's latest Informed Sources ePreview:

Talk about hubris, my warm glow at having networked the home soon vanished when nemesis followed and a few days later my computer not only wouldn’t connect to the internet over broadband, the back up dial-up stopped working too.

The Fact Compiler fears that this may have been premeditated rather than misfortunate.

Perhaps Captain Deltic should contact the Association of Old Crows to protect himself from future attacks?

All bets off at Derby

Good news for York!

Provincial backwater Derby has abandoned its grandiose plans to become the UK's 'Rail Capital'.

According to This is Derbyshire...

PLANS to build a £15m centre for the UK rail industry in Derby have been scrapped.

The UK Rail Centre was intended to provide a showcase venue for the industry but the East Midlands Development Agency admits it has failed to attract investment for the project.

Derby was chosen ahead of York by the Railway Industry Association and the Rail Sector Advisory Group for the right to house the centre in 2005.

Alas.

Despite the East Midlands Development Agency spending £1.95m in 2006 on a 2.6-acre site close to Derby station no additional external funding has been forthcoming.

The design for the proposed centre also proved slightly contentious, with its eye catching 32m ventilation tower being nicknamed the traffic cone.


Perhaps apt now that this particular avenue for regional grandstanding has been closed off.

First for hitting the passenger where it hurts

The Fact Compiler has been stirred from his deckchair by the following extra-ordinary news.

According to Passenger Focus:

First Great Western (FGW) is set to introduce new restrictions on its cheapest Off-Peak tickets which will mean many passengers travelling into London in the morning and out of London in the afternoon will see their fares rise by 20%.

What can this mean?

Some say First Great Western has joined the ranks of franchise demics like NXEC, London Midland and Arriva Cross Country.

The Fact Compiler, almost replete from his well earned break, has a more charitable view:

Perhaps Mark Hopwood is leveraging these swinging increases as personal favour to First's Chief Executive - Sir Moir of the Lovely Book (pictured below)


No doubt the storage costs for the mountain of remaindered copies has started to make First Group shareholders twitchy...

A new era unfurls #6

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Today's sorry saga on the West Coast Main Line gets worse.

Arriving at Euston at 17:30 there was rush hour meltdown, in heat.

Only two Virgin services were running north and none from London Midland due to a "signal failure at Harrow and Wealdstone".

Passengers were advised to go to the Cross and Marylebone.

In the crush you could hardly see the Network Rail posters proclaiming what a good job they had done.

Tempting fate

This confident assertion from Network Rail yesterday...

"VT ppm as at 18:00 today 92%"

But what's this?

Alas

It would appear that a signal failure this afternoon at Milton Keynes has stopped the job completely on NR's £9bn railway (again).

At least Virgin's contingency plans are by now well rehearsed...

Virgin trains... have promised that tickets for affected trains will be honoured on other services.

Old railway hands will point out that you should never tempt fate, or indeed get over cocky when your customer is already spitting bullets.

UPDATE: This just in from Charles Yerkes...

Heaven forfend that I should trample on someone else's patch, goodness knows we have troubles enough on the Underground.

However, hasn't NR's Rapid Rebuttal Unit gone rather quiet all of a sudden?

UPDATE: Wise words from the Archer...

Having 'enjoyed' the service on the WCML today (standing room & 20 late into London) perhaps Virgin's train-managers could go easy on the PA waffle.

When you start an announcement by apologising for making yet another apology, then it really is time to keep schtum.

Earlier, the train-manager just about stopped short of asking passengers to give the (Virgin Trains') driver a round of applause for his exceptional work having faced (Network Rail) signalling problems.

It was all a bit embarrassing really.

If these two industry giants don't grow up and co-operate then every delay on the WCML will be blown out of all proportion as each party seeks to blame t'other.

So please grow up and get along.

Topic closed.

Too clever by half

Good news for the Department for Transport

This celebratory press release reaches The Fact Compiler from National Express East Coast:

TWELVE railway stations on the East Coast Main Line have been awarded a national security rating

The Secure Stations scheme is a Government-backed initiative aimed at improving personal security at railway stations.

National Express East Coast’s head of stations Anna Heathcote said: “Our customers should feel safe and secure at all times. This important accreditation is the result of a lot of hard work by our employees, in partnership with the transport police.

Good news indeed.

Especially for York and Darlington both winners of the award.

So with such high standards of security in evidence presumably My Lord Adonis and Dicky Bowker will now backtrack on their expensive, unnecessary and unpopular gating proposals?

Randall and TOC-groups (Deceased)

Rail hack Chris Randall writes...

"Thought you might be interested to see a piece in last November’s Rail Professional, in which I predicted that DafT would be forced into an embarrassing policy U-turn if TOCs turned up en-masse at Marsham Street with begging bowls in hand.

"Following yesterday’s showdown between Buff Hoon and the increasingly panicky owner groups it appears it’s just a matter of time before DafT is forced to cave in to their demands and hand over billions more taxpayer pounds to keep franchises from going under.

"So much for franchises being non-negotiable!

"All of which brings to mind the all-singing, all-dancing launch of National Express East Coast in December 2007 when I had the temerity to ask National Express boss Richard Bowker if the TOC was prepared for an economic slump.

"The former SRA boss looked at me as if to say, ‘what sort of fool would ask such a bloody daft question’ and smugly insisted that NX had done all its sums and nothing could blow it of course.

"Funnily enough, I think Christopher Garnett said something very similar when he bid £1.3bn for the East Coast!"

Ozymandi'm back again

Thought for the day

As a 110 mile/h TSR is imposed on the WCML fast lines between Euston and Rugby, Iain (WCML Job Done) Coucher might recall these lines of Kipling:

Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre.

Death Falcon Il

Telegrammed by the late Sir William Pollitt
On a railway far, far away...

Although the Millennium Falcon generally came up trumps at the end of the day, isn't it also true to say that the battered old thing only did so after much persuasion, cajoling - and occasionally a good old kick in the dashboard?

Duly rebuked/persuaded it would then cough, splutter and finally shoot off doing almost the right thing, but barely answering to the controls and generally causing everyone on board to have palpitations?

Strike a light! Yes, Black Tower v2.0 certainly IS more Millennium Falcon than Death Star!

Death Falcon I

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Network Rail would do well to keep quiet about its new headquarters.

What with its basement concert halls and art galleries not to mention the chi-chi cafe where the beaux monde of North London can join Guardian journalists and Network Rail directors for a ristretto whilst admiring the landscaped canal.

Already railway visitors are questioning whether it is perhaps a bit too flash for an honest utility and we are urged to look at Ozymandias' new office to appreciate the grandeur.

But no signs of the statue going up as yet.

Ozymandiain lll

Another stern rebuke from Network Rail reaches The Fact Compiler!

It reads:

"I see you are on your usual churlish form whenever you write about Network Rail.

"It is true the West Coast project is complete. Our task was to upgrade the infrastructure to deliver the Dec 2008 timetable. The work we needed to do for that timetable change is now done.

"Does that mean we are never going to do any more work on WCML? Of course not.

"We have work to do there as we have on any line across the network. It was skimping on improvement works which led to the poor state in which Network Rail inherited the WCML.

"PS: Our new headquarters is more Millennium Falcon than Death Star."

The Fact Compiler is not convinced. Dear reader it is for you to decide in Railway Eye's latest exciting poll !

Ozymandiain ll

Telegrammed by The Archer
When is a completed project not complete?

Item 4 in Notes to Editors reads: "Although the project is complete, further planned improvement work will be undertaken at a couple of locations on the West Coast over the weekend of 27th & 28th December. There will also be work at weekends between Preston and Glasgow , starting in February."

Oh what a tangled web...

Ozymandiain

Glad tidings from Network Rail!

According to a press release from the Death Star (nee Black Tower) the West Coast Project is completed!

Amidst a tide of trumpet blasts a euphoric Iain Coucher proclaimed:

"Network Rail has delivered West Coast on the day we said we would."

Meanwhile the industry said:

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandiain, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.