Mediaballs - Metro on Chester

This from the Metro, referring to the buffer shunt at Chester today...

The 10.10am service from London Euston completely failed to stop at the station and partially derailed, smashing into the buffers.

Hmmm...

Perhaps a case of 'completely' hyperbole 'reporting'?

Transport Scotland inventibold new lingua - deep joy

This from The Man by the Photocopier...

 

So Transport Scotland have unveiled their exciting plans for the next ScotRail franchise!

 

Alas, it already looks to have become distressingly derailed in the Editor’s Notes.

 

Apparently, the contract will include a ‘Commitment to taking an innovative approach, true to Scotland’s innovative and entrepreneurial history, to propelling solutions to improved wifi access on trains alongside industry peers.’

 

What language is that? Lowland Scots? Gaelic? It certainly isn’t English.

 

Of course! It’s Management Gobbledegook!

 

Trebles, ahem, wee drams all round, then.

Pointless signs - Kiveton Park

This from a Mr Norman Collier... 

Pointless and USELESS signs!

This is on the gate to the UP platform - needless to say the phone is on the DOWN platform.

'Simples'?  Apparently not!