It wouldn't have happened under the chairmanship of the laser eyed St Gwynneth of Crewe.
Telegrammed from our man in 222 Marylebone Road
All the transport hacks were out in force last Wednesday at Ruth Kelly's much postponed 'get to know you' party.
As it is over a year since she was appointed Secretary of State (in June '07) many attended in error, believing it to be her leaving do.
With Rail Minister Tom Harris (unsuccessfully) pounding the Glasgow East pavements, Saint Ruth-of-Sparks had to get down and dirty with the trainspotting fraternity.
Congratulated on her rejection of the Lambirth Heresy (aka Railways White Paper) our very own "Apostle of the Pantograph" was heard to remark ruefully 'It was published three weeks after I arrived.'
Nothing like passing the buck downward, especially when your rail deputy is not present to defend himself.
The Fact Compiler has been deluged by emails from confused readers of the latest edition of Modern Railways.
Published on Friday the Blood & Custard section compares splendid GB Railfreight boss, John Smith, to eponymous English hero John Bull.
However, readers are worried that the 'Blood & Custard' image suggests more cock than bull...
Railway Eye in Harris' top ten!
View Top Ten here.
The Fact Compiler is pleased the Railway Garden Competition finds favour. Network Rail perhaps might take note.
Good news for Community Rail lines.
According to the Yorkshire Post plans to introduce Britain's first "tram-train"appear to have stalled.
Network Rail is nervous about granting the light weight vehicles access to routes used by heavier passenger and freight trains. At the same time Stagecoach, operator of the Sheffield Supertram, is proving distinctly lukewarm to suggestions that abstractive Northern tram-trains should run through city streets on their network.
Less ACoRP accuse the Fact Compiler of being unusually Κασσάνδρα-like he feels compelled to point out that the introduction of new rolling stock generally results in a dramatic increase in passenger loadings
Therefore he is at a loss to understand why the proposed tram-trains have a third less seats than the Pacers they are due to replace and will also have no WCs aboard..
The muesli-munchers continue to keep fingers and other parts of their anatomies crossed that these obstacles can be overcome.
Intending passengers will need similar skills as the journey between Huddersfield and Sheffield takes a prostate challenging 70 minutes!
***Oyster Card readers are on the blink again this morning meaning that Pay as You Go customers are travelling for free...***
Second failure in two weeks - see here
Worcester Foregate Street
What a magnificent display, showing that Network Rail Western really is endeavouring to recapture the green-fingered glory days of the former Great Western.
Notice how this particular railway garden also helps to remind train crew of the appropriate stopping point for a three car DMU.
Perhaps this is some secretive Network Rail trial for eco-friendly stop boards?
***The Crossrail Bill received Royal Assent last night.***
Still no news on who will pay for it!
***Man dies at London's Vauxhall station after urinating on train track***
Read the London Paper story here
Good news for David Cameron and his commitment to integrated transport.
Conservative Guildford Borough Council has voted to end a free shuttle service linking railway and bus stations with the town's centre.
In a delightful attempt to shift the blame for their lack of vision onto the Disability Taliban, the council claimed that free disabled and elderly travel now made the bus service unnecessary.
Other piss-poor excuses included rising fuel costs.
"It simply doesn't make sense to use public money to continue to subsidise a free service in these circumstances, especially as escalating fuel costs would make the service even more expensive than the present £90,000 a year." said Councillor Jenny Wicks.
Good to see that Dave's troops are listening to what the great man is saying.The Fact Compiler has an apology to make. He has in the past accused DafT of being clueless. He accepts that this is not true.
They are in fact completely clueless.
Railway Eye readers may recollect an amusing Parliamentary exchange on the 19th June when Tom Harris 'fessed-up that his civil servants have no idea how much rolling stock there is on the network and are reliant upon a Roger Ford crib.
Now of course this could not possibly be true because in January of this year DafT published a Rolling Stock Plan which said where new trains should go. So they must know where the existing trains are.
To help clear the matter up Shadow Transport Minister Stephen Hammond MP tabled a further question along the same lines asking the Secretary of State "on what date her Department ceased to hold and collate this information?"
Yesterday Tom Harris gave the written answer: "I refer the hon. Member to my answer of 19 June. This information has never been routinely collected in the Department."
The Tories have also put the boot into Network Rail following the publication of today's TSC report.
Theresa Villiers, the eminently forgettable Shadow Secretary of State for Transport said:
"This report confirms the points the Conservatives have been making for years - that Network Rail is not accountable to its customers.
Handing out fines of millions of pounds which the taxpayer picks up is pointless when the senior management at Network Rail can collect six figure bonuses in a year which saw them preside over the fiasco at Rugby, Liverpool Street and Glasgow."
Wise words indeed.
However, Coucher and co have no need to panic yet. Whilst everyone else is talking about reform to NR corporate governance DafT remains to be convinced.
And as long as NR continues the pretence of being a 'private company', whilst acting under Marsham Street direction, then next year's refill of the bonus trough is assured.
Announcement overheard on a FGW service to Paddington this afternoon:
"Just to remind people that there is a fully licenced buffet on the service this afternoon, Jamie is quite bored reading his Railway Magazine, so please go and see him".
The Fact Compiler is unsure whether Messrs Piggott and Milner have cause for celebration or not...
ORR recently published the annual station usage figures for 2006/7.
The resulting media coverage made much of the fact that an alleged 84 million passengers use Waterloo Station each year, whilst just 17 lonely souls used Tyndrum Lower.
A Railway Eye reader travelled to Tyndrum Lower on Thursday 11th July.
He was one of five boarding the train. The conductor had picked up nine more passengers on his outward run, meaning that annual loadings for the station had almost been achieved in just two journeys on one day.
Plainly ORR's station usage figures are just plain wrong.
Delta Rail (formerly AEA Technology Rail) collates station usage for ORR. In their defence the data is drawn from 'Lennon' and excludes non-station specific tickets, so BritRail Passes, Rovers, and Staff Passes don't count.
Even so this must make a nonsense of claims that Tyndrum Lower "cost Scotrail £589 per passenger during 2006/7".
Is Tyndrum Lower the only station where usage figures are so magnificently under reported. Community Railways are advised to mount their own counts.
Whitehall and Network Rail heaved a collective sigh of relief when the Grim Reaper achieved what new Labour had failed to do by removing Gwyneth Dunwoody from the Chair of the Transport Select Committee.
Alas Louise Ellman who is the TSC's new Madam Chairman is already proving to be a member of the awkward squad.
Ellman was on the 'Today' programme this morning talking about the TSC's report into DafT's lacklustre publication 'Delivering a Sustainable Railway', which is supposed to give a 30 year vision for the railways.
Ellman's tip-top performance saw her lambast the Government for a lack of ambition in planning new high speed lines and Network Rail for "serious failures of management" over its disastrous Christmas blockades.
Bonuses for porky NR Directors were also criticised.
Download the TSC report here
St Gwyneth, Our Lady of Transport, must be smiling down from above.
Telegrammed by The General Manager
Have you noticed Peter Hendy's extraordinary re-invention of himself as a right-wing gent?
In the latest Transit he claims to have "cast off the cloak of revolutionary socialism". No doubt he will soon be owning up to his mum's title and that his brother is a noted silk (John Hendy QC).
Is there nothing our boy won't do for the rich boys and toffs who now run City Hall?
But will it be enough to save him?
Probably not.
The Fact Compiler likes to keep readers abreast of the doings of the great and the good.
For instance next Wednesday will finally see Secretary of State for Transport Ruth Kelly hold her long promised cocktail party for industry hacks.
The "do", which has been cancelled twice before, has been meticulously planned down to the last detail.
But to be on the safe side Roger Ford has kindly agreed not to broach the subject of railways unless Ruth does so first.
Good news for lovers of the English language.
C2C, the ludicrously named franchise which serves London, Tilbury and Southend, has had its franchise extension turned down by DfT.
In the normal course of events this would mean that National Express would lose the franchise in 2011 (rather than 2014 if they had succeeded in gaining an extension).
However, National Express may be spared the indignity of returning the keys early due to the inability of Spencer-like Mandarins to follow due process.
The Fact Compiler understands that "stiff" representations have been made to Marsham Street and that as a result DafT will entertain a "revised submission" for the franchise's extension.
Naughty Open Access Operator Grand Central has been served with an Improvement Notice.
View the ORR list of Improvement Notices here.
The Fact Compiler is grateful to National Express East Coast for bringing this to his attention.
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