How the railway works #2

This fiscal gem from the BBC...

Lord Adonis told the conference that £500m had been spent solely on compensating train companies that used the West Coast Main Line during its upgrade.

If only we could all have jobs where we were paid to do nothing.

UPDATE: This from a sharp eyed reader...

Have you not missed something in your link to the Adonis on new versus upgrade?

It says the new line was 'announced in January'.

Was it?

A company to look into the possibility yes, but surely no new line has been announced at all.

Classic spin!

Gordon gets fillited in Europe

As this is everywhere else on the blogsphere... enjoy!

By the by - nice whistle!



'Nuff said.

London Midland to abandon catering?

As the downturn bites owner groups are coming up with ever more Ludicrous reasons for cutting back on catering

This from UK Railway...

Travelling today on a 350/2 from Liverpool, the Trolly Dolly informed me that hot drinks cannot be served to standard class passengers for safety reasons.

Will Permatan Rail be the first to abandon on-train catering for 'elf'n'safety' reasons?

Inspire the next?

This just in from Captain Deltic!

Inspired by Hitachi's claim that the Super Express (the train formerly known as IEP) will be 'proudly built in Britain', Captain Deltic was moved to share this picture of an IKEA chair he 'proudly built' in Welwyn Garden City.


Eye draws attention to IKEA's policy of naming items of furniture after railway journalists and invites suggestions for future recipients of this honour.

UPDATE: A reader suggests...

How about 'The COLIN' - a flat pack bookcase, complete with instructions containing caption errors.

FURTHER UPDATE: A very naughty reader suggests...

'The NIGEL' - a large well-upholstered sofa and 'The WØLMĀR' - a self-assembly bidet...

ANOTHER UPDATE: This from a reader keen to expand the envelope...

I don't see why this should be restricted just to railway journos, why not let the wider industry share in the fun.

How about:

'The IAIN', a plastic self-inflating chair, with bonus.

'The MOIR', a dining carver with optional ejection seat (only available in tartan)

'The JIM', a stylish but eccentric hostess trolley fitted with only three high-speed castors out of four

'The MICHAEL', a newly launched left-handed upside-down egg whisk (only available in Atoc)

and finally, if you insist on journos only

'The PHIL', a slightly moth-eaten, khaki chaise longue which constantly swallows biscuit crumbs.

AND ANOTHER: This from The Master...

'The BIGLUND' - a table ideal for keeping safe hold of BlackBerrys...

AND FINALLY: These wildly off-topic offerings...

'The BORIS' - A well padded Ottoman (may arrive looking a little disheveled).

'The FRED' - A glass fronted bookcase (comes with broken windows).

New industry model unveiled

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road.
Exciting news from the world of railway modelling.

According to BBC online...

Twin brothers Frederick and Gerrit Braun have built the world's longest model railway in the city of Hamburg.


It has six miles of track, cost £8m to build and its 1,150 square metres (12,380 square feet) take in the US, Scandinavia and the Swiss Alps.

The UK version, being built in a loft in Neasden, is still laying track, is undecided on the power source, has yet to order any trains but is already building an extension to its replica of New Minister House and comes complete with an army of several thousand animated miniature civil servants.

Good to see that the UK version remains faithful to reality.

Affordability - or lack there of

This from yesterday's FT...

Train order deadline put back

The deadline for trainmakers to submit bids for one of the UK’s biggest-ever train orders has been put back by nearly two months over problems financing the enormous order.

It's not just new trains that are at risk.

The Eye understands that the whole CP4 funding settlement is also in question.

There's no fool like...

This from the East Anglian Daily Times...

A 71-YEAR-OLD man put lives in danger at a railway crossing by deliberately turning round important information signs, a court has heard.

Silly burgher!

Adonis and Biggles mug Mail

Even the Mail is frothing at the mouth over HS2.

This from highly respected transport correspondent Ray Massay...

Plans for a new high speed train service between London and the North - with double-decker trains travelling at 225 mph - are set to get a boost from the Government and the Conservative opposition.

Double decker trains! Where did those suddenly emerge from?

Transport Minister Lord Adonis will voice Government support for the idea of the new line to link the capital to the North of England and Scotland when he speaks tomorrow at a conference promoting the scheme.

Hold on... voice Government support... that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Sir David, a former Permanent Secretary at the Department for Transport, said that the line would allow tens of thousands of homes for long-distance commuters to be built between London and Birmingham.

Ah ha! Hypothocation floated as a means of funding the project as the Government won't.

On the vexed issue of financing the scheme in the depths of a recession, Sir David said: 'It’s a huge challenge but I believe it will eventually happen because the railway is full.'

Still no Government commitment to fund and not even an indication when the line may open, but there's no rush because it will "eventually happen".

No commitments, no numbers, not even a firm route!

So it's pure spin!

Ray - shame on you for swallowing this tosh.

Economic and efficient?

According to best practice there should be no more than five layers of management separating the chief executive from those on the ground actually doing-the-do.

Alas.

Such is not the case at Network Rail.

CEO Iain Coucher was shocked to discover that in parts of the business a whopping twelve tiers of management separate him from his front line staff.

Fortunately a re-organisation is not far away...

UPDATE: This rib tickler from The Archer...

Once CEO Iain Coucher has recovered from his shock and implemented his re-organisation, how many more tears will there be?

"PPP a success" says Nobody

This from Supply Management...

London Underground (LU) and supplier Tube Lines (TL) have only a few months to resolve a major dispute over maintenance costs.

The organisations have a difference of more than £3 billion in their calculations of the cost of upgrading the Jubilee, Piccadilly and Northern Lines by 2017.

No shit Sherlock

Angel left all alone

Beacon Rail Leasing Limited has acquired 18 EMD Class 66 locomotives from HSBC Rail.

The locos are based in Norway, Sweden, Germany and the Netherlands.

The new additions will bring the Beacon Rail locomotive portfolio to 51.

So that just leaves Angel with interests in Europe.

Tom Harris tables EDM in support of Gricers

This from Tom Harris...

That this House welcomes the presence and activities of railway enthusiasts on the UK rail network; acknowledges the potential positive contribution to station security made by railway enthusiasts who are often seen as providing extra “eyes and ears” for the security services through their activities; is concerned at recent reports that some rail enthusiasts have been prevented from carrying out lawful activities – including photography – by station and train staff; and calls on Network Rail and the train operating companies to respect the legal rights of members of the public to pursue their interests at stations.

Good effort!

Biggles flies undone

So Sir David "Biggles" Rowland has been waving the flag for HS2.

Alas, in The Times today he promises oodles of jam, all of it delivered tomorrow.

No matter.

The article does reveal the proposed location of the High Speed Two London terminus:

The Times records:

Passengers may, however, have to travel to the suburbs of London to catch the trains because the terminus could be built up to five miles from the centre to reduce the cost of the line.

A site near Wormwood Scrubs in West London is being considered as a giant rail hub where passengers would switch from the high-speed line to Crossrail, the mainline railway being built under Central London to link tracks to the East and West.

It could have been worse.

Apparently Sir 'Biggles' initially suggested that the London terminus should be built in Manchester and served by air.

How the railway works #1

There's gratitude!

This from Stagecoach...

Passengers using megabusplus.com will be able to travel between London’s St Pancras Station and nine key locations in the North of England - Hull, Scunthorpe, Doncaster, Castleford, Harrogate, York, Bradford, Halifax and Huddersfield.

The fast, integrated journey will be by comfortable coach and high-quality train, provided by East Midlands Trains, running in and out of St Pancras.

Nice of First to give their class 222s to EMT, so that Stagecoach have enough rail capacity to mount a raid on Hull Trains' flows.

Monday night diary clash

Decisions, decisions!

The Fact Compiler has invitations to two events tonight.

Should he go to the AGM of the newly formed Labour Transport Group and listen to Geoff Hoon...

Or should he accept the Institution of Railway Operator's invite and hear Christian Wolmar?

On balance Hoon wins, he'll be ruder about the TOCs

Pause for thought

***This from His Grace Archbishop Cranmer on the death of Jade Goody"

Follow that cab!

Telegrammed by Our Independent Expert
Does the cab trade know something we don't?

Taxi drivers plying Preston railway station have reproduced images of the new IEP train on their business cards.

Railway hands with long memories will recall there's a great tradition of train-making in the city - with the prototype Deltic being built in English Electric's Strand Road works.

Perhaps this explains the Hitachi poster on show at Railtex earlier this month...

"Proudly made in Britain!"

Is this perhaps stretching the Trades Description Act a little too far?

MacInsider Trading?

This from the Scotsman...

Transport Scotland's former chief executive Dr Malcolm Reed told the Scottish Parliament in January that his finance chief Guy Houston, a shareholder with FirstGroup, had only taken part in two meetings "after the deal had been struck" on the contract to run ScotRail.

But the agency has now admitted that Houston actually attended several other internal meetings at Transport Scotland when the decision over the lucrative ScotRail contract was still being discussed.

Last week, it emerged that when Transport Scotland was discussing the deal with the firm, Houston was increasing his shareholding.

Perhaps there is a chapter devoted to this disgraceful affair in Moir's lovely book?

Moorgate closure benefits Railway Children

The Fact Compiler raises his bowler to FCC's Elaine Holt and Roger Perkins.

Who were both out yesterday evening, rattling the collection pot for the Railway Children, as the last Thameslink service left Moorgate.


A nice piece of PR that means even The Fact Compiler is struggling to find fault.

Time for a nice lie down in a darkened room to recharge the vitriol levels.

DafT treats regionals with contempt

Two DafT press releases.

Both issued yesterday (Friday).

The first received at 14:50, the second at 23:30.

14:50 Rail passengers are set to benefit from a project costing more than £50 million to redouble one of the worst performing routes on the Cotswold Line, Transport Minister Andrew Adonis said today.

23:30 Rail passengers are set to benefit from a project costing more than £50 million to double parts of the Cotswold Line, from a single track service to two lines, Transport Minister Andrew Adonis said today.

Using your skill and judgment can you guess how many of today's newspapers were able to amend their copy in time?