2009 Railway Garden Competition #1

It's that time of year again.

Welcome back to the Railway Garden Competition.

Our first entry comes from Barking.

Beautiful. And how reassuring for passengers.

UPDATE: This from the 'Commuter'...

At a recent meeting a representative from Network Rail stated that they have been taking advice from the "experts" at Kew Gardens on how to deal with trackside vegetation.

As Kew's mission statement is to "inspire and deliver science-based plant conservation worldwide" then NR seems to have gone to the wrong place.

Wouldn't it be better to have a word with the manufacturers of Agent Orange?

Hello. Hello. Hello.

This from the government's Digital Britain report published last Tuesday:

"mobile network operators... to provide and fund solutions to take the initiative to improve the broadband mobile access for mobile customers travelling by Tube."

Good news indeed for transport minister Sadiq Khan.

Who, the Telegraph reveals, has THREE mobile phones which we pay for.

Khan's conflict of interests?

Campaigning lawyer Louise Christian, of Christian Khan solicitors, is demanding a public enquiry into the Grayrigg accident.

Hopefully this will be dealt with in person by Secretary of State, Lord Andrew Adonis, and not left to the junior Transport Minister responsible for railways, Sadiq Khan.

That would be the same Sadiq Khan as in 'Christian Khan' - Louise's former business partner.

How ironic that the new transport minister built his previous business from suing the railways.

Parliamentary news

Good news from the mother of XXXXXXXXXXX

XXXX XXXXX has confirmed that he is to announce the XXXXXX XX XXX XX XXXX XXXXX on XXXXXX.

Prime Minister XXXXXX XXXXX said

XXXXXX XX XXXXXX XXXX X XXXXX XXXXX XXXX XX XXXXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXX X XXX, XXXX XXXXXX.

What a bunch of troughing XXXXX.

Virgin struggles

This from 'Dreadnought'...

I was interested to see your little extract from Virgin and their ambitions for the Glasgow market.

On Wednesday I travelled first class to Preston on the 0830 ex Euston and returned on the 1440 ex Glasgow.

No breakfast on the way up due to a faulty kitchen.

Four out of six toilets out of use on the way back.

It looks as if the strain of trying to run the VHF timetable with too few units is starting to take its toll.

A chap sitting opposite told me it was the second time in a week he had been deprived of his breakfast due to kitchen problems.

Not exactly good enough for the bargain price of £390 return!

Yes it's quick, it's frequent but the quality is falling noticeably.

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

If you are running the VHF short of a Pendolino due to Grayrigg (thanks Network Rail) and because of infrastructure failures (thanks Network Rail) you are regularly stepping up units, leading to the situation where Alstom Train Care don't know which depot a train with a problem is going to end up at. So the replacement griddle may be at Longsight whilst the Train with the dodgy griddle ends up at Wembley...

This is not to say that Virgin and Alsom are blameless, but merely to introduce some mitigating factors.

And from a chart on the wall of Wembley depot noted last Wednesday, about 80% of Pendolino 'toilets out of use' arriving on depot are blocked, so presumably something unsuitable was put down them.

Mind you, when I was the world's leading writer on train toilets (in a field of one, I might add) I went to see the Scandinavian pioneers of vacuum, toilets and they designed to avoid blockages due to coke cans. They use dog food for testing, by the way.

When silence really is golden

This piece of grandstanding tosh from the Tories:

Commenting on the news that the Government has ruled out an inquiry into the Potters Bar and Grayrigg rail crashes, Shadow Transport Secretary, Theresa Villiers, said:

“This is a real blow for the families of those who died in these terrible crashes. It is unacceptable for the Government to have left those campaigning tirelessly for a Potters Bar inquiry hanging on for seven years. The delay has only served to increase the distress to those who were injured or lost loved ones as a result of the crash."

Hmmm.

One of the reasons that organisations like the RMT, and others, have called for a public inquiry rather than an inquest is to see what role privatisation played in these two major accidents.

That would of course be the same privatisation carried out by the "back to basics" adulterer John Major in the dying days of the last Tory govenment.

The same privatisation that destroyed an integrated railway on dogmatic grounds and added billions to its annual operating costs.

A privatisation that even Chris Grayling, the former Shadow Secretary of State for Transport, had to conceed was a 'mistake'.

Perhaps best to butt out of this one Theresa.

Severn Valley to avoid doomsday?

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Do BBC news editors ever travel by train?

Thursday's News at Ten reported on the global warming threat to "national infrastructure"... with a shot of SVR track washed away in floods two years ago!

Mind you, if it secures additional government dosh then it's time to head to Kidderminster.

DRS to strike

***ASLEF announce DRS strike days***

Calls to gate Glasgow Central

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
So Network Rail are keen to discourage feral youth from loitering at Glasgow Central station?

The obvious solution is to gate station entrances so that only ticket holders can enter!

Those wishing to buy a ticket at the station, and how 20th Century is that! - would buy a 'Permission to Enter Facilities' pass for £2 which would be refundable against tickets bought in the station.

For family groups meeting relatives there would be a group pass for two adults and up to three children costing £5.

Although such a proposal might not find favour with retail outlets and indeed Eye's editor...

(Indeed it wouldn't, although The Fact Compiler has no problem with re-introducing what we used to call platform tickets. Ed)

Again... Who speaks for the Railway?

This from the BBC...

The government is wrongly prioritising investment in rail over roads, despite 92% of all passenger journeys in the UK being made by car, the RAC has said.

A bold challenge from a well connected and highly effective lobby organisation.

So who will pick up the RAC's gauntlet and defend the railway industry?

The supplier group the Rail Industry Association wouldn't say boo to a goose and sadly the Railway Forum has become mute in recent years.

Which leaves us dependent on Network Rail or ATOC.

But can either be said to speak for the whole industry?

So where is the railway's 'RAC' and who should be our Glaister?

UPDATE: This just in from Ithuriel...

No one can speak for the railway industry because there is no 'industry' sharing common objectives - unlike the RAC (we want lots of roads for our member's cars), or the SBAC (we want orders for lots of planes), or even the Rail Freight Group (we want passenger trains abolished and the entire network cleared to continental gauge).

Getting ATOC to agree to anything is like herding cats, and even then it daren't offend Marsham Street.

Network Rail thinks it speaks for the railway industry in much the same way that Spitting Image portrayed Margaret Thatcher and her cabinet at dinner. 'What will you have Iain? 'I'll have steak'. What about the vegetables?' 'The TOCs will have steak too'.

The Railway Industry Association speaks only for the supply industry'

And the Railway Forum is reported to have lost the First big beast in its membership.

So that leaves Railway Eye or Lord Adonis.

UPDATE: Manifestly some Eye readers have too much time on their hands. This from the late Sir Arthur Sullivan...

Stand up, stand up for railways, at Euston and “The Cross”;
Lift high the CP4 plan, it must not suffer loss.
From apathy to victory , the DfT must lead,
Till every train runs "On Time", - Adonis, Lord indeed.

Stand up, stand up for railways, the trumpet call obey
We need a gallant champion, someone who’s here to stay.
For those who run a franchise are more concerned with brass
And those in the freight business, are “looped” to let them pass.

Stand up, stand up for railways, who’s good at slick PR?;
Someone who’ll “up the anti” against the friends of car.
Someone who‘s credibility; is something to be feared
Some say that it’s “The Captain”? whilst others say “The Beard”. (Nah!)

Stand up, stand up for railways, the strife will yet be long;
Forget about the bonus, forget about a gong!.
To those who raise the standard and fly it till they die;
Will have eternal Glory, (bowler tip to Railway Eye).

Electrification creeps closer?

Network Rail yesterday issued an OJEU in connection with the proposed electrification of the Midland and Great Western mainlines.

Optimistically entitled 'Network Electrification' the document outlines NR's requirement as follows:

"The programme currently envisages the potential introduction of electric traction onto the Midland and Great Western Mainlines over Control Periods 5 and 6 subject to comprehensive study/development being carried out during Control Period 4.

In order to facilitate this programme, Network Rail is seeking to procure a number of services from the supply industry.

The initial development phase will include developing optimum technical solutions and outline design for all elements of electrification and associated infrastructure."

As the OJEU points out it is 15 years since Britain last saw a mainline electrified.

Typical, you wait 15 years and then two come along at once.

Wish you were here

Brighton is the most metropolitan of seaside resorts.

So it came as no surprise to see Messrs Ludeman, Souter & Eccles taking the South Coast air there, earlier this week.

Strange, no postcard yet.

A calm oasis?

This sneaky image has come the Eye's way.

Presumably taken by someone at today's Javelin launch who snuck away to see Network Rail's restoration work at King's Cross.

This, apparently, is part of the eastern range, above what will be the first class lounge.


But what on earth are Gallagher brothers doing there?

Searching for a reason

Cross Country's new ad is on YouTube...



Lukewarm.

UPDATE: Captain Deltic asks on behalf of CaRT*:

Why no shot of an IC125 in the new Cross Country commercial?

*Campaign for Real Trains

Ford assaults Javelin - cleared for service

Congratulations to South Eastern for starting Javelin services six months early.

Whilst the official taster services won't commence until the 29th June, today saw a special run for hacks and others of the great and good.

The inaugural run from St Pancras to Ashford also saw the new class 395 fleet formally christened when the Chief Thumper, Roger Ford, undertook the traditional ceremony of "Assaulting the Interior Trim".

He pronounced himself satisfied.

Pity there are no power sockets though.

CORRECTION: This from the Major...

If The Fact Compiler hadn't been so busy elsewhere he might have noticed that the power sockets are between the seat by your knees.

Just check it's okay with the nice lady in the adjacent seat before plugging it in...

Irish News: The spirit of Dr B lives on in the Emerald Isle

Telegrammed by our man at Buggleskelly
Rail chiefs in the Emerald Isle have come up with a master plan to revive the flagging fortunes of their lightly used lines, including the famed Limerick Junction to Waterford route.

Iarnród Éireann seem determined to copy the worst ideas from Britain's Department for Transport and have proposed acquiring a hybrid railbus from Japan, or even a Parry People Mover, to cut the operating costs of the 54 mile line.

Wags are already scouring the land for an elastic band of suitable size.

According to Irish Rail's Spin O'Meister, Barry Kenny, the vehicle is one of a number of cost-cutting options on the route which sees only 54,000 passengers a year.

Seasoned observers of the Irish rail scene have better ideas.

Perhaps IE might actually promote the route or even provide a timetable that gives useful connections out of Limerick Junction. A Sunday service might also help.

To be fair Kenny appears to be doing his bit.

In May highly respected Irish Times hack Brian O'Connell travelled the line. Sadly he had to suffer a 61 minute wait for a connection at Limerick Junction.

With the best will in the world this sort of journey won't make for a compelling travel piece.

Of course this may be exactly what Irish Rail chiefs want.

Any increase in passenger numbers would scupper plans to close the line.

Which is why the case for a hybrid railcar appears so compelling.

With the option to run the railcar in road mode the line between Limerick Junction and Waterford could then be closed for 'essential maintenance' - permanently!

Irish News: IE backing Ahmadinejad

This from the Irish Independent last week...


Controversial Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is campaigning to be re-elected on the plank that his country is advancing as rapidly as a train, only the train in question is Irish, almost as old as he is and until 2007 was delivering freight around the country.

There's a pun here somewhere about Gerrymandering but in the current climate probably best not to make it.

UPDATE: This from Andrew Grantham over at the Railway Gazette...

An Irish diesel?

That's nothing - look at the train on the top of the Islamic Republic of Iran Railways website!

Beats an exported Pacer.

Ablo Espanol?

The Eye has received an email from a confused reader.

Dear Fact Compiler, he writes.

I live in Chester and access the internet via BT Broadband.

For the past couple of days the National Rail Enquiries website has been running adverts in Spanish.


And this one, today, is from US Government...

Can you tell me what's going on?

Well I'm afraid we can't but perhaps one of our more technically savvy readers can?

Guns go silent on WCML. Armistice to be signed?

This from Virgin Trains...

More frequent departures and even faster journeys are on the Virgin Trains agenda as demand for rail travel grows and air goes into decline.

Virgin Trains is going all out for the Glasgow market, having grounded the airlines between Liverpool and London and become the travel mode of choice for Manchester-London.

And on, and on, it continues. With not one mention of the infrastructure controller.

Nice.

UPDATE: Up to a point Lord Copper...

"Don't mess with us!" threatens NR

Either our armed forces are now so emasculated by fighting on two fronts that they can be whipped by a couple of HR dollies and Steve from Accounts...

...or Network Rail really does have some hard cases on the payroll.

This from an NR press release:

Who’s tougher? The Army, Air Force or Navy? None of them – it’s Network Rail. So proved our apprentices in the prestigious annual Junior Leaders Field Gun Competition, held at HMS Collingwood in Gosport, Hampshire. In the ultimate battle of strength, endurance, speed, accuracy and team work, Network Rail apprentices came out on top.

You pays your money you takes your choice.

UPDATE (belatedly): This from our man at 222 Marylebone Road...

Apparently the winning team, (of ex-apprentices, note) have spent the last three months in Peter Henderson's boot camp learning how to rip out failed equipment on the WCML with their bare hands to save time and allow replacement in an eight hour possession.