Revenue protection - Big Society style

Let this be a lesson to all those who wear beanie hats... (shurley fare dodge? Ed)



Good effort 'Big Man'!

LUL gets all 21st Century over upgrades

Good effort.

Christmas televisual feast - your starter for 10

This from Sinoda...

Idly leafing through the pages of the Double Issue Christmas Radio Times (other listings magazines are available. Ed), I find that 'The World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent' is to be interrogated on television just before Christmas by Jeremy Paxman.

Nothing tremendously untoward so far you may think - but wait a mo!

Jezza 'Come on, Come On!' Paxo is hosting a special season of 'Christmas University Challenge' featuring 'famous alumni' representing their respective Universities, and the listings for BBC2 on Thursday 22nd December (almost) reads as follows:

Jeremy Paxman hosts another first-round match, tonight between the University of Warwick, led by the 'World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent', and the University of Sheffield, captained by George Ergatoudis.

"Here's your starter for 10: What is the connection between a Banana and the failure to construct high-speed railway lines?"

DafT - life imitates art

This from a Mr Murray Mint...

Good to see that several local authorities have embraced a right thinking approach to nomenclature.

This from Southend Council’s mobile CCTV guidelines (para 1.1.2)

1.1.2 The Traffic Management Act (TMA) (2004) has provided a solution to this on Going issue by permitting the use of Mobile CCTV vehicles to enforce the kind of Contraventions mentioned above. Paragraph 50 of the Department for Transport (Daft) TMA 2004 The Secretary of State’s Statutory Guidance to Local Authorities etc, etc, etc...

This from Newham Council on Sustainable Impact Appraisals para 1.1.1

1.1.1 It was a requirement of the ORN designation by the Department of Transport that an EqIA was prepared in order to demonstrate that the equalities impacts of the ORN proposals can be effectively managed. This document was approved by Daft during the ORN designation process etc, etc, etc...

This from Bexley's Public Transport Sub-Committee (page 11):

VL responded that while Southeastern had sympathy with local aspirations, stops at Deal on
the high speed network had not been included in the Daft’s service specification, etc, etc, etc...

That’s DafT enough – Ed

Railway Carol Service - 21st December

Gaudete!

This year's Transport Benevolent Fund rail staff carol service takes place on:

Wednesday 21st December at 12:30

at St Mary's Somers Town, Eversholt Street, near Euston Station (NW1 IBN).

All supporters of the railway most welcome.

Meanwhile, for those unable to make it...



Hope to see you on the 21st...

Pointless sign - Newhaven

Pointless signs - Hull Paragon

Pointless signs - A big shout out to Ravey Davey

Railways - A social service? Discuss.

This from the CambsTimes24...

A FOOTBALL club manager was so embarrassed by the toilets at a March playing field that he ferried a visiting girls’ team to the railway station to use their loos.

Q.E.D.

Exciting new Eye feature: Ask Uncle Roger

Eye is delighted to announce an exciting new feature!

Introducing everyone's favourite Agony Aunt - Uncle Roger...

Our first question to Uncle Roger comes from a gentleman who lives in both Tatton and Whitehall...

Dear Uncle Roger

My friend has published an Autumn Statement.

I... sorry he... refers to £80 million in support of the Southern Rail franchise’s procurement of 130 new carriages.

Can you help me to understand what is actually being bought?

Yours Confused & Concerned, Horse Guards.

Dear Gideon.

You should not be ashamed about this, as many have asked the same question.

It is all too easy to think that new trains will arrive on the network unloved, off-lease and unlikely ever to carry passengers.

Happily, the figure of £80m you mention merely represents the DfT's best-estimate, based on experience with the IEP, of the fees consultants and lawyers will charge to specify these new trains.

Be assured that this paltry sum will deliver not one new train, ensuring sidings remain free for the storage of existing train fleets as soon as Theresa's new franchises are signed.

Uncle Roger

Have you a question for Uncle Roger? Please send to the usual address...

ITSO - What's in a name?

This from, a fulminating, Captain Deltic...

Is there a more stupid name for an ITSO compliant transport smart card, than Southern's 'the key' - note the poncey lower case.

Must add Southern's Development Director to my harangue list.

UPDATE: This from Randy Scouse Git...

You should be so lucky!

Mersey Travel is calling ours the 'Walrus'.

'Daydream Believer' would have been so much better!

UPDATE: This from Mr Reginald Slicker...

One can only commend MerseyTravel on their capitalisation of the name.

And if I may say so - Goo goo g'joob goo!

UPDATE: This from Retired Railway Manager...

At least ‘Walrus’ shows knowledge of a bit of railway history (being the ‘Fishkind’ name of a bogie engineers ballast wagon).

However, what connection that may have with ITSO and or anything else connected with it is debatable.

Unless this is forward planning for when the Mersey floods?

Autumn Statement - Christmas comes early?

So what goodies did the Chancellor's Autumn Statement contain?

Aside from causing chaos with the fares system by the late reduction of January's average regulated fare increase to RPI+1 (down from Petrol-heads eye watering RPI+3) there are one or two additional jee-jaws to delight.

The simultaneous publication of the 2011 National Infrastructure Plan lists the following in section 3.c Network Rail Schemes:

New infrastructure projects

• North Trans Pennine electrification
• New rail link between Oxford, Bicester, Aylesbury, Milton Keynes and Bedford
• Network Rail Discretionary Fund
• Funding for winter resilience measures
• Bridge renewals

Note - there are no plans for additional rolling stock over and above what has already been (often and repeatedly) promised.

So once released from Thameslink the Class 319 fleet will now be expected to cover almost as much ground as Santa on Christmas Eve!

UPDATE: This from the Transport Select Committee...

Following the Autumn Statement made on 29 November, the Transport Committee will be taking oral evidence from the Secretary of State for Transport.

Wednesday 14 December 2011, 5.05 pm

Committee Room 8

Witness: Rt Hon Justine Greening MP, Secretary of State for Transport

Good to see that Louise Ellman and co are on their toes.

UPDATE: The DfT have also published the Logistics Growth Review today...

Good news for Freighties!

In section 2.30 DfT commits £55m of investment to developing a Strategic Freight Network:

The Government is making available funding for an investment of £55m for the Strategic Rail Freight Network (SFN) allowing delivery of schemes that remove bottlenecks and improve capability and longer term connectivity to the UK’s major ports.

These are: the Ely – Soham doubling scheme that will remove a bottleneck on the Felixstowe-Nuneaton route, improving both freight and passenger capacity and reliability on this section of the route and increasing the attractiveness of freight paths between Felixstowe and Nuneaton, reducing demand for paths on more heavily congested routes via London; and

Gauge clearance of additional rail freight routes in the Midlands between Syston Junction (just north of Leicester) and Stoke that will allow existing freight capacity to be used more efficiently by enabling the routes to carry 9ft 6in 'hi-cube' containers - which otherwise require specialist rail wagons or carriage by road. These schemes will improve access to Felixstowe and Southampton ports and the new port at London Gateway, as well as northern locations including Liverpool.

Details here.

DfT abolished as Treasury leads rail expansion

This from Rose and Crown...

Much gloom in Marsham Street as Osborne's finest achieve, in less than week, what numerous Transport Secretaries have failed to deliver in years!

Stand by for confirmation tomorrow of passenger friendly fare increases and a raft of network enhancements that might actually get the economy and country moving again.

No doubt the Treasury bean-counters have tired of DafT's navel gazing, reputation for inertia and over dependence on expensive Consultant's reports?

Caught on the back foot by HMT's whirlwind briefing the beleaguered inmates of Great Minster House were forced into feverish denials before sinking into sullen silence.

Meanwhile, the industry looks forward to welcoming an Autumn Statement that apparently contains trans-Pennine electrification, work to reopen the Varsity route and myriad smaller schemes.

Which begs the question: what is DafT for?

No matter!

Once Marsham Street has been abolished perhaps Gideon can use the money to buy trains for all this newly enhanced infrastructure?

Rubbish Websites - Thandi Executive Coaches

Note the use of a very dated BR crest...


No doubt when Thandi counted BR amongst its clients they supplied 'Charabancs for the Gentry'.

Greening fights for hard pressed passengers!

This from the Indie...

Ms Greening is suggesting that fares should go up by about 6 per cent – 1 per cent above inflation – in a move to reduce the impact on hard-pressed commuters and long-distance travellers.

Good effort!

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

How disappointing to see the Fact Compiler in 'God Bless yer Guv, you're a real toff' pitiful gratitude mode over Mrs Greening's alleged intervention on fares increases.

If the user doesn't pay more for their grossly uneconomic train-ride to work, then the tax-payer will have to make up the difference since the railway fat cats seem unable to curb their inflated costs.

UPDATE: This from Prof Calculus...

Please someone tell me this is a joke!

T12 is already long gone and it will prove virtually impossible to deflate the millions of fares already in the system for January.

This looks like half-baked policy on the hoof. Madness.

Villiers vignettes - Yet another correction...

Another apology from Cruella for misleading the House...

The Minister of State for Transport (Theresa Villiers): I regret to inform the House that there was an inaccuracy in the answer I gave to Parliamentary Question 71220 on 13 September (Official Report, Column 1072W), about information held for each individual transaction undertaken by British Transport Police using the Government Procurement Card in (i) 2008-09 and (ii) 2009-10.

The correct answer is that this Government is committed to transparency and we believe the information regarding Government Procurement Cards for this financial year is the most relevant. Central Government Departments are now publishing any transactions over £500 on their websites, starting with 2011/2012 Quarter 1 (April — June) data and thereafter on a monthly basis. The cost of work required to obtain, contextualise and report data for previous years would exceed the cost limits of a Freedom of Information request or a Parliamentary Question.

For purposes of transparency, the Department for Transport now lists GPC spend on its website. This includes details of spend by the British Transport Police.

What's that noise? That is the sound of the buck not actually stopping anywhere!

UPDATE: This from Chionanthus Virginicus...

I see from the DfT's GPC transparency lists, that the monthly payments to Virgin Rail Projects for maintenance of Pendolino Set 54 is £66,666.66.

Can we expect it to be named 'The Beast'?

FGW runs Shake, Rattle and Roll special

This from Sir Felix Pole...

I thought Eye readers might be interested in FGW's farewell tour for the Class 142 'Pacer' units as they depart the West Country? (shome mishtake shurely? Ed).

I'm glad to say that the traditions of the Great Western Railway are still being upheld!

You will note the rather sniffy reference to the 'LSWR route from Salisbury'.

UPDATE: This from Banker76...

Maybe Northern will organise a similar ‘Welcome to the Pacers’ tour around parts of the network where luckless commuters have already been enduring them for 25 years or more.

Then again, perhaps not…

UPDATE: This from a disgusted Major Disaster (FPL and Bar)...

There will be no such celebrations on Northern Rail when they arrive here.

Our memories go back to the days when the 305's ended up in the Manchester area after they were replaced by 310's on the LT&S.

Once again the flabby South demonstrates its contempt for those oop North!

UPDATE: This from the Oft Forgotten South West...

So Major Disaster remembers the 305s?

How lucky for him. Down in the South Wales and West region we have no wires at all, so have never seen such electrickery!

The demise of the FGW 142s will not bring the presence of Pacers in this area to an end; we still have all the 143s and in South Wales there is a not insubstantial fleet of 142s, sent here by a generous North West in exchange for some Sprinters. And FGW's 142s were payment for a large batch of 158s, which Northern seems to be keeping.

There are some newer trains on Manchester and Birmingham-bound services but for internal and London-bound workings we haven't got a single passenger vehicle less than 20 years old.

Might I suggest that the North, which has commuter trains with such 21st Century luxuries as air conditioning and disabled toilets, ensures that future complaints about rolling stock emphasise the disparity with the 'South East' rather than merely the flabby South?

And then we can all join in with the ritual complaints about the shortage of Electrostars north and west of Watford.

Tweetalike - On subsidies...

This from Logisitical...

Stephen Gastlier, Road Lobbyist, in the Guardian Comment Is Free section on Monday: "Even if rail travel was to double – which it won't, not least because rail users are heavily subsidised – it would still be a minority activity."

Christian 'World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent' Wolmar yesterday on twitter: "Extra coaches for overcrowding on FGW will cost govt extra £29m.Shows how railway economics is entirely dependent on subsidy from taxpayer."

Are they perhaps related?

UPDATE: This from Banker76...

The good Prof. appears to have forgotten that without those subsidies, tens of thousands of extra commuters would make the road network unuseable.

And The World’s greatest Living etc etc has also clearly forgotten that it is the madhouse economics of the fragmented, privatised railway that make many of them necessary in the first place.

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

And the World's Greatest etc overlooks the £3.5 billion in direct grant propping up Network Rail

Pro-rata that onto variable track access charges and any additional train is completely unaffordable.

An open letter to Justine Greening

This open letter to Justine Greening has been copied into Eye by a Mr Reginald Perrin of Sunshine Desserts...

Dear Mrs Greening

I understand that your Department has today confirmed yet another timetable slippage - this time involving the order for new Thameslink rolling stock which will now not be signed until the New Year.

If I might paraphrase the letter I previously sent to the Traffic Manager, British Rail (Southern Region):

It is rapidly becoming apparent to me that your officials are not only not competent enough to hold their jobs, but they could not even run a game of strip-poker in a Turkish brothel.

It should be obvious, even to a retarded Belgian hamster, that all of your train orders should be re-timed to take eleven months longer.

Yours Faithfully,
Reginald I. Perrin

Byline corner

This from Isambard II...

I’m sure many of your sharp-eyed correspondents will have pointed out the header tucked away on page nine of yesterday’s Independent.

"Tory outcry set to divert high-speed rail line"

The story was credited to the splendidly named Andrew Grice, the Indie's Political Editor.

Perhaps Eye readers can draw attention to other rail related stories with appropriate bylines?