ITSO out-of-date

***The perils of modern technology explained***

Gerrymander Rail

So Geoff Hoon has decreed that Great Western, Northern and Transpennine will be the beneficiaries of "up to 200 new rail carriages".

In particular the Secretary of State wants to see the new vehicles benefit rail passengers in the "Thames Valley, around Bristol and on longer distance inter-urban services in Northern England".

The Fact Compiler wonders why?

Thames Valley:
Reading West (Lab)
Oxford East (Lab)
Slough (Lab)
Swindon South (Lab)
Swindon North (Lab)

Around Bristol:
Bristol South (Lab)
Bristol East (Lab)
Bristol North West (Lab)
Kingswood (Lab)
Wansdyke (Lab)

Inter-urban services in Northern England
City of Durham (Lab)
Kingston Upon Hull (Lab)
Leeds Central (Lab)
Leeds East (Lab)
Leeds North East (Lab)
Leeds West (Lab)
Liverpool Garston (Lab)
Liverpool Riverside (Lab)
Liverpool Walton (Lab)
Liverpool Wavertree (Lab)
Manchester Central (Lab)
Manchester Blackley (Lab)
Manchester Gorton (Lab)
Middlesborough (Lab)
Newcastle upon Tyne Central (Lab)
Newcastle upon Tyne East & Wallsend (Lab)
Newcastle upon Tyne North (Lab)
Sheffield Central (Lab)
Sheffield Attercliffe (Lab)
Sheffield Brightside (Lab)
Sheffield Heeley (Lab)
Sheffield Hillsborough (Lab)
City of York (Lab)

You get the idea...

Now if TrainSardine.Org could only force a couple of byelections on the Norwich - Liverpool route...

Buffhoonettes

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
A friendly call to the DafT press office to see if there were any further details on the up to 200 vehicles being brought forward from a never specified delivery date, brought the following reply:

"We don't have details on how they will be allocated to the TOCs".

According to their Master's statement:

"...an additional 200 train carriages to relieve congestion on the Great Western, Northern and Transpennine rail franchises."

And the press release says:

"The delivery of 200 new carriages earlier than originally expected for rail passengers in the Thames Valley, around Bristol and on longer distance inter-urban services in Northern England."

What sort of press office is it that claims not to have information that has been published in the House earlier that day?

Come back Miriam the railways need you more than aviation.

Clarification or more spin?

***Westminster sources saying Geoff Hoon statement at lunchtime today on the "up to 200 new rail carriages"***

UPDATE: Ministerial statement now expected at 15:00

Honourable and a member

Our elected members continue to find it easier to have a pop at TOCs over fares increases rather than hold the Department for Transport to account.

This from Dick Murray in today's Evening Standard.

"AN MP today warned of riots by rail passengers after fares were increased by more than twice the rate of inflation.

"Roger Gale, Tory member for North Thanet, described the increases, due to come into force in January, as "intolerable" and said that with people already suffering the effects of the credit crunch they could "lead to civil disobedience.

"Mr Gale has written to Charles Horton."

Why?

Earth to Roger Gale: Talk to the organ grinder rather than the monkey.

I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated.

As Lord Kinnock might say:

"A totally and utterly wicked slur has been perpetrated on the literally millions of totally and utterly welsh speakers by denying them the opportunity to hear their native tongue aboard services totally and utterly serving parts of Wales."

Hansard: Written answers 20th November, Railways: Welsh Language

Hywel Williams: To ask the Secretary of State for Transport what discussions he has had with First Great Western Trains and Virgin Trains on the use of the Welsh language in respect of (a) rail services provided in Wales and (b) cross-border rail services. [237845]

Paul Clark: The Secretary of State has had no discussions with First Great Western or Virgin Trains on the use of the Welsh language.

Pictured are Sir Beardie and Moir Lockjaw dressed totally and utterly as druids.

Agreeable luncheon

Good news for lawyers.

The Norwich Evening News reports on the campaign to save National Express East Anglia restaurant cars.

'Labour's Sue Whitaker, who raised the issue, said the franchise agreement was riddled with inconsistencies.

“It could be a field day for the lawyers,” she said. “In one part of the franchise agreement it talks about providing a buffet service, but elsewhere there is reference to a restaurant service on some trains."

Thank goodness one sector of the economy appears recession proof... allegedly!

Pre-Budget Report and the railway

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
According to Alastair Darling's 2008 Pre-Budget Report today: "Up to 200 new rail carriages will be delivered earlier."

Since the egregious 'Rolling Stock Puzzle' does not contain a timetable for the delivery of any the 1300 (sic) new vehicles in the High Level Output Specification, how can vehicles be delivered earlier?

Elsewhere in the Report it says that there will be '£300 million to accelerate the delivery of up to 200 new carriages to expand capacity on the rail network'.

How can DafT accelerate delivery?

Only by placing orders in its own right before negotiations to changes in Franchise Agreements are concluded.

Which means telling TOCs, 'You're going to have these Electrostars we've bought as a job lot when they are delivered'.

This is an admirably sensible approach - which is why we don't think it is what the Pre-Budget Report means.

And that 'up-to 200' sounds distinctly fishy.

The only additional vehicles remotely capable of being 'accelerated ' are the 30 four car EMUs for NXEA and the 42 - oops 24 - extra DMU vehicles for TransPennine.

Predictably the running dog lackeys at ATOC welcomed this meaningless commitment.

UPDATE: Tom from Blairwatch writes:

"It did occur to me that since there's only one place you can build trains in the country, and it's full of people building trains, what was the point? If you ordered 200 Electrostar vehicles the delivery date would pattern-match 201x anyway - they've got those South African Electrostars, the Class 378s for Boris, the 2009TS for Boris and the 'S' stock for Boris to build first. My goodness, Boris is getting a big new trainset, isn't he?

"What might be fun is to engage in stimulus trading with the Germans. For instance, we could start by buying a job lot of off-the-peg Desiros (beefing up the Class 450 fleet would be favourite, guys), in return for the German police buying an equal cost in Jaguars, or something.

"Alternatively put some cash into refurbishing and life-extending the Class 150 fleet."

UPDATE: Sim Harris writes...

"That makes Bombardier sound too busy to take on any more, but not so.

"There is capacity for 8 lines at Litchurch Lane and only 5 are in use (not at all bad, but that still leaves 3). Gautrain is nearly complete, too.

"Bring the work on!"

Longrider rides out

"“non!”"

Pre-Budget Report and the environment

Wolmar also gives a thumbs down to the Pre-Budget Report, on environmental grounds.

Read Christian's piece here.

It looks like the Chancellor is struggling to win support.

As Ali D might say: "Is it because I is in the black?".

Unholy Trinity

A splenetic press release reaches Railway Eye from campaign group TrainSardine.

They write:

"Angry passengers have launched a fight back campaign against East Midlands Trains by sending tinned sardines to rail boss Tim Shoveller. The campaign is in protest at the poor service provided on the troubled Liverpool to Norwich line."

Alas, such is the campaign group's ire that they manage to misspell the address of their own website:

"The TrainSadrine.org also launched its website, a newsletter and revealed a poster." (pictured below).

As DafT's celebrated Rolling Stock plan only allows EMT three new vehicles, perhaps TrainsSadrine would be better focusing their anger at Messrs Hoon, Adonis and Mitchell.

Wonders of modern medicine

Good news from Captain Deltic!

In today's Informed Sources ePreview the good Captain shares the results of a recent visit to the doctor:

"Meanwhile, thanks for all your good wishes ahead of last month’s internal exam. The colonoscopy showed every thing to be normal."

To paraphrase Evelyn Waugh on Randolph Churchill: "It was a triumph of modern science to find the only part of Roger that wasn't indignant!".

Wolmarvision HD

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
No expense has been spared in this super colossal production!

Fire and Steam includes the recreation of the building of the Liverpool & Manchester Railway complete with toiling navvies, bowler hatted ganger and topper wearing engineer.

Sadly, none of these are moving and the rostrum shot is one of several taken from that fount of all railway wisdom: "The story of railways" (a Ladybird achievements book).

Alas, this excellent publication failed to survive our passion for dumbing down. A search on the Ladybird Books web site brought the following response:

"Sorry, your search for Railways has not returned any results."

Perhaps Team Railway should invest in our future and help Ladybird to fill the gap?

Gordon is a moron

Splendid news. The Prime Minister shares passenger outrage over fares increases.

This extra-ordinary statement was quoted in Saturday's Daily Telegraph:

'A spokesman for Gordon Brown said "It is clear that passengers have concerns about the value for money they receive from train companies. It is a matter for the rail companies to explain why they have made the decisions they have made".'

The Fact Compiler is speechless.

UPDATE: The Fact Compiler is grateful to a distinguished Railway Eye reader for the following:

"The tragedy of much government mishandling of the industry is that no-one - including Atoc, which is meant to be their industry association, for goodness' sake - is willing to make a fuss about it.

"First got plenty of stuff wrong on Great Western but they also took flak that should rightly have gone to the government for the reassignment of the Class 158s to areas that just happen to have lots of Labour MPs.

To quote (in expurgated fashion) Bunk, the coolest detective in cult TV series The Wire, "Sometimes it makes me sick how far we done fell."

Quite so.

A pedant writes

Railway Eye was delighted to receive an invitation to Balfour Beatty's 100th anniversary bash.

It has a picture designed to illustrate the company's involvement in the electrification of the West Coast Main Line captioned "1969".

Alas, BB decided to use a photo of a Class 87 locomotive to illustrate the piece.

As any fule kno these mainstays of the West Coast Main Line weren't introduced until 1973.

Such lack of attention to detail will come as a surprise to many in the industry.

Bah humbug

Festive cheer!

Network Rail stations have entered into the Christmas spirit!

Here's to January's New Year Grandmother sale.

Crisis, what crisis?

Telegrammed by The Master
Anyone travelling through Kings Cross on Saturday morning could be forgiven for thinking 'crisis, what crisis?'

There certainly seemed to be no sign of passenger numbers slackening in the wake of the economic downturn.

NXEC departures were rammed, with a mid morning Glasgow service full and standing.

Arrivals were equally busy, including Grand Central's first train of the day.

No doubt the cheeky decision by all three Open Access Operators to freeze fares in 2009 will continue this trend.

Wolmarvision

Is Christian Wolmar in danger of becoming a national icon?

Wolmar's book Fire and Steam has been transferred to DVD in time for Christmas.



Does the Fact Compiler detect a faint whiff of arch-crank and poet laureate Sir John Betjeman in Wolmar's agreeable cadences?

Fat head

The Fact Compiler is grateful to a reader for sending in the picture below which was taken at St Pancras station.


The Fact Compiler fears that passengers may have to wait slightly longer than the weekend for this particular train to appear at Agincourt International

Sense and sensibility

Is My Lord Adonis a good or bad thing?

Does he know his stuff or is he talking through his coronet?

You picks your commentator, you takes your choice.

For instance Nigel Harris made the following observation in a blog posting on Monday:
"What most of these commentators missed – or got completely wrong – was Andrew Adonis’ deep and detailed interest in railways. He comes to the transport job with an existing knowledge and support for rail which is going to be intriguing to watch."

Intrigued, we watched.

And lo it came to pass, a mere three days later, that Lord Adonis made clear his existing knowledge and support for rail:

Lord Adonis, House of Lords, Thursday 20th November (Hansard source)
"However, a perfectly sensible report was published, commissioned, I think, by the Department of Transport and possibly British Rail. This was the Serpell report, although it, too, proposed options that could have led to significant network cutbacks in the 1980s."

Presumably his Lordship means sensible in the sense that Raymond Ian Burns might understand it?