Make mine a large double!

Remind me, when did we agree to surrender our lives to these self appointed Puritan kill-joys?

This from the BBC...

There should be a ban on all alcohol advertising, including sports and music sponsorship, doctors say.

Has anyone read the Flying Inn?

Sod the lot of 'em - I'm off for a drink and a fag!

UPDATE: Several Benny-Hedgehogs later...

A bowler tip to Old Holborn for this...

The lead author of this report is one Professor Gerard Hastings, who is not qualified to practise medicine but who does have a PhD in Social Marketing from the University of Strathclyde. He is a member of fake charity Alcohol Focus Scotland, and he is well-versed in the tactics of neo-prohibitionism from his time working for the Cancer Research UK Centre for Tobacco Control Research.

Do any of these quango-monkeys add one jot of value to anything they touch?

A challenge to London Midland!

Telegrammed by The Delver
As London Midland traincrew still have guaranteed Rest Day Working (RDW) on a weekday and get time-and-a-half on Saturdays there is little incentive for them to work Sundays.

If your guaranteed weekday RDW falls on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday you just turn up, whether there’s a turn to do or not. So a few hours in the mess room, then off home. Happy days and no need to work Sunday!

Unwilling to address the route of the problem London Midland bottled it and in May introduced Double Time payments for Sunday working!

They came in droves. But at what a cost!

So last weekend’s sudden withdrawal of Double Time meant staff voted with their wallets and stayed at home.

And the company did errr… nothing.

As London Midland obviously has little appetite for a fight what’s the betting the extra payments reappear?

You can’t blame the unions, they are merely cashing in on weak management.

Meanwhile the rest of the industry holds its breath. If LM gives in, consider the impact on other TOCs.

So who is to blame?

Perhaps the biggest culprit is the Department for Transport which still insists on short term franchises that breed chaotic Industrial Relations .

With longer franchises the needs of both staff and the business could be addressed, over time. And without breaking the bank.

Meanwhile the taxpayer foots the bill whilst the railway prices itself out the market.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Peters...

This dates back to the dark days of December when LM couldn't run a rail service and were paying drivers for 12 hr shifts when they were only doing 4 hrs so that they were able to operate some kind of service..

London Midland were warned that come September ASLEF would want paying back for helping them through the crisis...

And that did not mean taking away over time payments...

UPDATE: This from a Mr Malins...

Why, Mr Fact Compiler, if we are talking about a traincrew shortage, has London Midland done nothing to rationalise its profligate use of resources, such as the double manning of all services, when Go Ahead and Captain Permatan must have good experience of Driver Only Operation South of the River?

At present we have guards who do little more than close doors, and the drivers do not even open them.

In 3rd Rail territory things are rather more efficient than that.

Unless of course you are on South West Trains, where the same waste applies, and worse as an entire timetable has been built around a working practice that extends station time.

And are the drivers in both cases already being paid the DOO allowance even though in practice they do not do it?

But then who was the Stagecoach man that decided not to have any confrontation over train manning?

Could it by any chance have been your Silver Fox?

UPDATE: This from Shiny Shoes...

Ok Mr Malins have you calmed down from your rather 90's style guard bashing rant yet?

So easy to blame the guard when things aint going too well - but I thought we had left that thinking of the dark, stark days of yore behind.

Lets get this right - the LM problem is not to do with the staffing of trains with a full and correct crew it's to to do with the age old problem of Sunday pay. This has gone on since the very earliest of days. Sundays were always voluntary and certainly in BR days were paid at time and 3/4.

Basic rates were so low that traincrews literally fought to work on a Sunday - so there was never any shortage of willing hands and it was the subject of quite a few rostering arguments and of course banter i.e. 'you've got more Sunday's in than the Pope!!' etc.etc.

Of course this situation was a form of blackmail - you either came for a Sunday or had the prospect of a 'flat' week - hence the trains ran.

Most post privatisation companies saw the folly of and inevitable business implications of this and eventually came to agreements that saw rostered Sundays as part of the working week - granted traincrew guaranteed rates of pay rocketed as a result - but probably only to a level that they should have been years ago.

LM have failed to grasp this nettle, irrespective of what rates of pay are now, if a Sunday remains as 'voluntary' then the inevitable will happen. What other business/service operates on such a basis? Wholly irresponsible, LM will reap what it has sowed i.e there's been a crop failure!

So please don't bring the role of the guard into all this - the correct crewing of a train is not a waste of resources, it is, if managed correctly hugely advantageous - from the shared operation of the train via the traincrew team to a uniformed, well informed, articulate communicator providing customer service, security and revenue protection/collection i.e proper train management.

The fact that this obviously does not happen on LM services (and others) is the consequence of weak or non existing traincrew leadership - especially at the 'tail lamp' end.

Get the right people in the first place, lead them by example, motivate, encourage and above all treat them as professionals not just back cab wallers waiting to become drivers - it's not a wasted resource Mr. Malins, it's an untapped resource.

Save General Election Night

***Save General Election Night***

Just not cricket!

The Vulcan has been ruminating about the railways again.

Latest to feel his ire is London Underground for having the audacity to close St John's Wood station (and the entire Jubilee line) when the cricket is on.

Fortunately our alien friend has a solution to this problem:

Public transport is meant to serve us, not wind us up. Why can’t they do better? Why can’t we bust more of these monopolies, so the managers have to try a bit harder to keep their jobs?

Well John it's like this.

After your lot ballsed up the railways the current lot ballsed up the Underground.

So it was not London Underground that decided to spoil your enjoyment of the cricket but the private sector contractors (Tubelines & Bechtel) who required access to complete the upgrade of the Jubilee line.

The good news is that these paragons of private sector virtue have just demanded more Jubilee line closures so that they can show quite how fabulously efficient the private sector is (Is this right? Ed).

No matter.

At least there is one thing on which we can agree.

John is surely right to insist that managers should try harder to retain their jobs.

Perhaps something our political class might consider as well?

The disastrous privatisations of BR and the Underground have saddled the taxpayer with billions of pounds in additional costs each year.

And not one of the political geniuses behind these hare-brained schemes has paid for these costly failures with their careers.

Eh John, Shriti, Gordon, etc...?

First for cutting carbon emissions

Is it a bird, is it a plane...

No, it's the latest German designed kettle!



Makes Tornado look halfhearted.

(With a bowler tip to Driver Potter and WNXX)

London Midland - no plan B?

So a truly disastrous day for London Midland.

Nothing running on the franchise, with the honourable exception of the Liverpool - Birmingham route.

First a bit of background.

Several months ago London Midland found it difficult to operate all its timetabled Sunday services.

Sunday is of course a rest day and therefore not a rostered turn, requiring staff to volunteer to crew services.

In an attempt to buy its way out of trouble the beleaguered TOC agreed to pay traincrew double time to work on Sundays!

Double time on a £37k drivers salary - nice work if you can get it.

Alas.

This couldn't last, not least because DfT has been making dark noises about LM costs being "out of control".

So an end to this cosy arrangement was never in doubt.

What is causing surprise is LM's apparent lack of preparedness for the obvious backlash.

Why, for instance, weren't managers drafted in to provide a token London service?

No doubt Lord Adonis will be asking the same question of Captain Permatan at their next meeting (sans biscuits).

Curse of Porterbrook?

Captain Deltic may wish to look away now!



Unhappy D9009.

This is of course the same loco that was previously owned by Porterbrook.

And which errr... 'got on fire' on its first public outing after being expensively repainted in the Rosco's livery...

UPDATE: This from an 'Old Porterbrookian'...

Oh no it wasn't!

Porterbrook had 9016 Gordon Highlander.

That was the one which 'got on fire' - nicely snatching defeat from the jaws of a PR victory.

The Fact Compiler stands corrected - a shame as it was a jolly good headline!

UPDATE: This from our International Correspondent...

Fact Compiler - you are such a pants trainspotter!

UPDATE: This just in from Driver Potter...

How sad.

A beached Gunboat.

What a shame there wasn't a third rail present - clearly some form of stabaliser is required...

UPDATE: This from our International Correspondent...

Driver Potter bewails the absence of a third rail beneath the beached gunboat.

Why?

It would just result in the East Coast greyhound emitting a shower of sparks.

And we already know what a Deltic with sparks coming out looks like:


Hopefully we have now managed to work into this thread the correct engine number (and associated PR Own Goal for Porterbrook) that the Fact Compiler thought he was talking about first time round.

No, no, no! I was talking about the second time it "got on fire", or was it the third, just after leaving Brush in 1999 in its pretty new Porterbook livery.

Stewards enquiry shocker

This just in from Bob Poynter...

I am not convinced that David Rowlands voted for himself in your recent poll to identify who should lead high speed rail.

A far more likely explanation is that Sadie the Guide Dog put her paw on the wrong button when trying to vote for herself.

Which is of course why she is the stand out choice to lead the project.

Alliva Closs Countly

This from the Ninja...

Arriva Cross Country must be getting desperate...

...judging by the enthusiasm of its train managers for excessing any passenger whose knowledge of rail fares falls just slightly short of Barry Doe's.

So far (on 1M46) I've seen one spend the time between Basingstoke and Reading winning a prize for revenue protection - but not international relations - with his treatment of four Japanese tourists unwise enough to use an SWT Groupsave ticket on an AXC "voyager".

Plus the new mobile shopette (or trolley) cornered two girls at Banbury and they got overcarried to Leamington before they could get past to rescue their luggage. Not sure if they got exc'eed though!

Perhaps it's an attempt to reduce overcrowding as I don't expect they'll be back in a hurry.

September seventy years ago...

The European railways didn't cover themselves with glory during Hitler's war.

'Nuff said.

However, there were one or two occasions where continental railways played their part.

This from Tunnel Vision...

Sir Nicholas Winton has been referred to as the ‘British Schindler’...

Eye raises the bowler to all those who played their part, on land, sea or air, seventy years ago.

Death of the machine - Shocker

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
The fightback against mechanized mugging has begun!

This seen next to a vending machine on the down platform at Wickford today:


Perhaps a portent?

One heralding the return of decent on-train nosh in East Anglia?

(Start lobbying Stagecoach now folks. Ed)

Eccles 25:17

Has the Silver Fox lost his touch?

Commenting on tomorrow’s widespread cancellation of services by London Midland, Shadow Secretary of State for Transport, Theresa Villiers, said:

“London Midland needs to get their act together. They really should have contingency plans for a situation when their regular drivers don't put their names down for Sunday shifts.

“Given the importance of Sunday services to passengers, particularly families, it is just not good enough to cancel virtually every train for the whole day just because of driver shortages. And passengers should have been given much longer notice of this problem.

“Why didn't the company see this problem coming sooner?”

No matter.

Eye gives you Mr Eccles in full flow (in French of course)...



London Midland: Be afraid, be very afraid...

Arriva XC - Lather and lace?

Arriva Cross Country must be upping its game!

Judging by the chintzy lace blinds to be found on this Voyager set pictured at Sheffield.


Presumably the much derided 'trolley' now has a linen tablecloth?

UPDATE: This just in from Arriva Cross Country...

Dear Fact Compiler

Having seen the picture of our splendid Voyager at Sheffield I couldn't help but comment.

While we aim to ensure our customers' travel experiences with us are excellent, we hadn't actually thought about putting lace blinds in the windows.

However, looking at the image a little closer I think you will find that anyone who likes the idea could enjoy a similar experience by sitting opposite any stationary train at that platform on a suitably sunny day to get the same reflection from the canopy edgings.

Sadly, like the accusation our 'trolley' service is "much derided", there's just no truth to the story...

2009 Railway Garden Competition #XXIV

Through the wonders of MMS the following communication reaches The Fact Compiler.

It reads...

Captain Deltic's contribution to the 2009 Railway Garden Competition:


Eye imagines Iain Coucher saying "Pah! Amateurs".

Stagecoach rattles the bucket

Good news for East Midlands Trains passengers!

This from the Independent...

Some rail passengers will have to fork out for fare rises of up to 145 per cent from next week.

The East Midlands Trains company is making alterations to some of its Travelcard tickets which will affect passengers travelling in the morning from Market Harborough, Kettering and Wellingborough to London.

Presumably Stagecoach supremo Brian Souter needs all the pennies he can get if he is to buy the rail and bus businesses of the doomed National Express Group.

Meanwhile, don't expect DafT to kick up a fuss over EMT's swinging fare increases.

If Souter can raise the necessary gee-gaws to buy C2C and NXEA it will save DafT the public humiliation of testing Cross Default in court.

Happy days!

Pointless signs #11

UPDATE: This from A Train Driver Lost somewhere in EMT-land...

Pointless sign #11 isn't *entirely* pointless - in the areas of EMT-land where passenger intelligence is best described as limited, it can be almost embarrassing watching the darlings trying to open the doors by thumping the glass, kicking the body of the door, swearing at it or merely looking bemusedly at it because it hasn't magically opened for them.

Having a little sign pointing out that there's a nice button to press helps - at least for those who can read...

Nice to know our efforts are appreciated by the Eye though! ;o)

2009 Railway Garden Competition #XXIII

Eye is delighted to present the Hanging Gardens of Derby...



With a bowler tip to the Wicked Weaver...

Avaracious vending machines

A quid for a cup of hot water!


Compliments to Beardie Rail for allowing this mechanised mugging to take place at Rugby station.

2009 Railway Garden Competition #XXII

This just in from JASB the Ninja...

I thought you'd like to see a couple more entries for the Railway Gardening Competition, both seen on a jolly family outing to Vectis on Bank Holiday Monday.

Here's the start of our trip at Hook. My son said that this was "lacking in colour", so it may not be a winning entry.

He also pointed out that the vegetation is beginning to obscure the bases for the new signals (which were installed about 18 months ago as part of the Basingstoke resignalling phase II or III ... but that's another story).

Here's what we found at the other end.


Now this really is a Railway Garden.

It was installed on the disused Up platform at Shanklin some years ago (probably during Island Rail's short-lived period of UDI).

I think a machete is advised now if you want to admire its charms.

South Eastern shows a caring side

This just in from from Our Man in Bradway Tunnel...

Nice to see that there are still youngsters who are excited by the railway.

This from the BBC...

"The parents of a boy who has run away to try to catch a train have asked railway staff to put up warning posters to stop him getting into danger."

I note the young gentleman has tried to buy a ticket to leave Marden.

Can't say I blame him.

It's heartening to read this, though:

"Railway staff at stations all along the line from Tonbridge to Ashford now have pictures of Toby to help them keep a lookout for him should he try to get on a train again."

A bowler tip to staff on South Eastern - clearly they are taking their duty to their passengers seriously.