Freightline® Gobshitte®y

This C®ap from Freightline®, presumably at the behest of GE®.


Eye® is delighted to say that NR® in its response refused to play this g@me.

What a lot of a®se!

LibDem conference news

Telegrammed by Party Animal
Regular Eye readers will be aware already of the LibDem's decision to endorse 30 year franchises.

A slick piece of lobbying by new ATOC PR supremo Ed Welsh.

Ed's background is in local government, so presumably he had Baker and the rest of the 'gas and water' muesli munchers eating out of his hand.

Whilst ATOC congratulated itself on a spirited performance in Bournemouth the award for the biggest PR coup goes to Alstom!

The French train manufacturer sponsored the All Party Parliamentary Light Rail Group fringe event on Sunday night.

So delighted was Chairman Paul Rowen MP, that he made a passionate speech thanking Alstom, "the UK's last train manufacturer, based in Derby".

Brighton next week - see you there.

HS2 - Is Rowlands in control?

Telegrammed by Sir Humphrey Beeching
Have we another Mottram Moment in the making?

A furious email has been issued by HS2 containing a statement from Sir David Rowlands...

HS2's response to RAIL Magazine

“The insinuation that Scotland would not be included in our proposals for a high-speed rail network is frankly ludicrous. Both Glasgow and Edinburgh are on our list of primary destinations and will definitely feature in all of our proposed network options.

“In fact, on the day RAIL Magazine published its factually inaccurate article, I was in Scotland meeting with the Minister for Transport, Infrastructure and Climate Change, Stewart Stevenson to discuss, among other things, the work Scotland is doing to ensure a future high-speed link is integrated with its transport planning strategies."

Well that clears that up then.

Or does it?

Perhaps Sir David would be better directing his ire closer to home.

After all, RAIL was merely reporting non-attributable briefings given to several trade titles by Rowlands' own staff...

UPDATE: This just in from RAIL's Managing Editor. Nigel Harris...

RE The Scottish Question

Eye watchers will be interested to know that I am already in correspondence with my good friend Sir David's office regarding RAIL's HS2 report, in the last issue, by Business Editor Phil Haigh.

RAIL stands 100% behind Phil's entirely accurate, objective, prompt, thoroughly professional news story and I shall be inviting Sir David to withdraw his allegation of inaccuracy forthwith.

I'll be dealing with this in the next RAIL - including, maybe, further revelations from Phil's carefully noted, on-the-record briefing, which contained the controversial 'not for Scotland' opinions.

Wild horses wouldn't drag the name of the highly-placed source from our lips, but if HS2 thinks the Scottish comments were embarrassing, then other remarks lying (currently) unpublished in the detailed transcript I asked Phil to produce, from his contemporaneous notes, may indeed prompt the 'Mottram Moment' you so wittily allude to.

Bottom line: Phil's story is 100% accurate. Fact.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Saltaire...

Tut, you wait years for a Scotland scandal, and then two turn up at once!

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic ( in serious mode for once)...

Several of us in the railway press have had the same story, with the same quotes from HS2L sources.

I didn't follow Phil into print for the simple reason that I have decided to write about HS rail only when there is something in print with hard numbers to crunch - such as the NR report.

Informed Sources has run for over a quarter of a century because the eponymous sources know I will never let them down.

But trust is bi-directional and I work on the basis that anyone is allowed to mislead me once.

Had I followed Phil with an item and then had a denial sent not to me or my editor in the first instance but to all the railway press I would wonder whether it represented a breach of trust.

The art of signwriting explained

WSMR Anschlussed

More exciting Open Access news.

Following today's announcement from Yoghurt Rail comes news of developments at WSMR.

This from Modern Railways...

Rail firm Wrexham & Shropshire announced (today) that direct services between Wrexham, Shropshire and London will, from the New Year, be operated by Chiltern Railways, a company owned by WSMR's largest shareholder, German state rail operator DB.

So where does all this leave former WSMR shareholder Renaissance Trains?

Perhaps Hull will be seeing a lot more of the Landlord?

UPDATE: This from the Major...

Do keep up FC old bean.

I'm sure those chappies at RAIL ran this story last weekend (unless of course your copy's stuck in Mount Pleasant sorting office...).

It did indeed reach me. But the Modern Railway's story had quotes and stuff. Even one from Herr von Shooter!

UPDATE: This from a Mr Scott...

Perhaps Renaissance Trains haven't noticed what has been happening with WSMR as they are completely snowed under preparing for the launch of Glasgow Trains.

Which according to their website is due to take place in er... 2009?

Genius behind the PPP to leave the Government?

Sky News reporting that Business Minister Lady Vadera is expected to leave Government.

The railway industry will remember her fondly for the masterful way she broke the Underground.

Gordon next?

UPDATE: This from Leo Pink...

Nor should we forget that Lady Vadera was also instrumental in breaking Railtrack thus making her responsible for the 2004 Periodic Review which saw annual railway subsidy soar to £100 million per head of population!

UPDATE: This from Lazarus...

According to Leo "the 2004 Periodic Review which saw annual railway subsidy soar to £100 million per head of population!"

No wonder there's an exclamation mark, that's a total of £6,000,000,000,000,000 per year, or roughly 1500 times the UK GDP. Wow!

UPDATE:This from Leo Pink...

My apologies.

I was calculating the size of my bonus when I broke off to telegram Railway Eye with my thoughts on Lady V.

As a result I was thinking in millions.

The sum should of course be £100 per head..

Yoghurt Rail returns

Exciting Open Access news!

Two new open access operations have been proposed for the East and West Coast Main Lines.

Branded GNER (haven't we heard that somewhere before? Ed) and GNWR they are the brainchild of Ian Yeowart, late of Grand Central fame.

The new Yoghurt Rail services will call at virtually every station in the country using Chinese built trains.

Yoghurt Rail's proposals have already been welcomed by Passenger Focus:

Anthony Smith, Passenger Focus chief executive, said: “Open access operators have brought to the network competition, lower prices, and quality services. Our latest National Passenger Survey revealed that passengers are very satisfied with the services they receive from Grand Central and Wrexham & Shropshire Railway."

Expect DafT to be a little more sanguine however...

UPDATE: This from King Henry...

Does Mr Yeowart know what happens if you visit www.gner.co.uk ?

UPDATE: This from the man in the Pendo....

Is there some competition with Virgin to spell station names wrongly?

Virgin's Wifi intro is still misspelling Manchester Piccadilly and Llandudno Junction.

However for Yog(h)urt rail it's the residents of Alderley Edge and Hebden Bridge who will be irked.

Still I don't suppose they will ever need to spell them correctly on a destination board.

An invitation from the Labour Transport Group

The Fact Compiler has received the following from the Labour Transport Group:

LTG Member, supporter, friend, colleague

At Labour Conference 2009 The Labour Transport Group are launching Labour's Transport Policy for the Future - 60 Words Campaign

Why not tell us in no more than 60 words what Labour's Transport Policy for the Future should be?

The suggestions will be posted on our website, will be debated at future LTG meetings and form the basis of our future campaigning.

Contributions already received are shown at http://blog.labourtransportgroup.org.uk

Why not join the debate and comment on the policy ideas, or write your own - simply comment on the website or email it to the admin team admin@labourtransportgroup.org.uk

Please include your name and CLP (if Labour Party Member).

Please forward this email.

Play nicely...

UPDATE: This from our International Correspondent...

"Under a Labour government the railways will be publicly owned"

"There is a commitment that there will be a publicly owned, publicly accountable railways under a Labour government"

Alastair Campbell, 16 January 1995

Seems clear enough.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Iliff...

"Consult widely, formulate a range of options, assess them against relevant criteria... then throw them away because Gordon knows best." (20 words)

Anything else would be out of character.

Is Shooter wrong?

This from Getreading...

Fuming university lecturer Kerry Renshaw has launched a petition calling for First Great Western to abolish first class tickets on journeys to London.

Alas.

As at 10:15 the petition has a mere 14 signatures!

Perhaps time for the Chilteenies to mount their own campaign to restore first class...

Leed to Manchester to be electrified!

Or possibly not.

The Yorkshire Post has the amusing tale.

Who would have guessed that Iain Coucher was brought up in Leeds...

Pharisee news

The Pope has clarified his position after it was revealed he had broken the rules on celibacy.

Citing the Crown .v. Scotland he said:

"I fully accept the findings of the Conclave that I made a technical breach of the rules. I apologise for having made this inadvertent error."

The Holy Father continued: "Of course this in not a resigning affair, despite the fact I personally promoted this particular piece of Canon law."

Dear God - How much longer must we put up with this dishonest and disreputable bunch?

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

Compare and contrast: £5k versus £120k

Comment would be superfluous.

UPDATE: This from John B...

Don't quite understand Steve Strong's point here.

Scotland employed 1 illegal worker; Coleman employed 12. Both of them did so unknowingly.

£10k is the maximum penalty for that; you get £2.5k off for a first offence (including multiple 'first offences' at the same time) and £2.5k off for admitting fault.

So if Coleman admits fault, he'll be fined £5k per worker like Scotland. If he doesn't, then he'll either be fined nothing or £7.5k per worker, depending on whether he can convince them he's got a defence.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Saltaire...

Am I missing the point, or is everybody else?

As I understand it, the Noble Lady (?!???!?!) was fined because she failed to keep copies of documentation, and was therefore unable to prove that she had seen and checked that documentation.

The point is, had she been able to produce copies of the said documentation, would that not have simply proved that she knew the worker was illegal, since that is apparently what she was?

We all know that the reason the opposition is not making hay on this matter, is probably because half of them are also treading on thin ice themselves in this regard.

R.I.P. honest politics!

UPDATE: This from the Velopodist...

Mr Iliffe is indeed missing the point, as are many others.

Had Lady Scotland photocopied the documents, it seems it would have proved that she was shown fairly convincing fakes.

Reading between the lines of statements issued by those investigating these things, there is an investigation going on into how said fakes got produced and collars will soon be felt.

People are getting upset about it because they want to kick the government and because she's Attorney General - except for the Daily Mail, who just can't stand any prominent left-leaning woman.

The Fact Compiler is getting upset because he is utterly scrupulous in all his dealings with officialdom and could never be reproached for even the slightest technical breach of any rule. It's one of his best-known characteristics.

The Fact Compiler is uncertain whether the Velopodist is extracting the urine?

Flying Scotsman update

Exciting news for lovers of iconic loco 4472.

As many Eye readers will know Flying Scotsman is being extensively rebuilt by the NRM.

As work continues on the locomotive there is a clamour from kettle enthusiasts, keen to see a model of 4472 in an as-is condition.

Word reaches Eye that an enterprising manufacturer has now filled this gap and according to a Mr Roden, the new product is being secretly test marketed in Launceston!


Beautiful and every dimension to the correct scale.

Success for ATOC's new media team

Absolute fury amongst the organisers and sponsors of last week's National Rail Awards, at which John Humphrys was guest speaker.

Someone or somebody broke the railway Omertà!

Which led to the following Evening Standard headline the very next day:

Mastermind? It’s just money for old rope, says John Humphrys

The piece then listed a litany of alleged faux pas from Humphrys' witty peroration.

Who could have been so naive as to have done such a thing?

Obviously someone new to the game.

No matter!

No point in crying over spilt milk.

Clearly when you sup with the Devil you should use a very long spoon... etc...

Meanwhile, perhaps best if ATOC don't invite Lydall again next year!

Mediaballs - Salisbury Journal

This shabby headline from the lame Salisbury Journal:

Train crash near Salisbury

Wrong!

The rest of the story continues:

The black Fiat Bravo was travelling south when it appears to have gone out of control and hit a garden wall on the right-hand side of the road.

The car was thrown back across the carriageway, mounted the kerb and went over the embankment onto the track, where it was hit by the 5.15am express to London Waterloo.

So that would be a 'Car Crash' then?

NR to provide Zil Lines for Olympics?

Good to see that the promise of an Olympics open to all doesn't extend to the good burghers of Nottingham.

This from the Nottingham Evening Post...

Rail chiefs claim they haven't yet decided when the station will close, but Coun Richard Jackson says Network Rail told him the work would be during the London Olympics.

So its 'Zil Lanes' for athletes and 'Zil Lines' for NR engineers.

LibDem's support 30 year franchises

This from Transport Briefing...

Conference supported shadow transport secretary Norman Baker's calls for 30 year rail franchises with five year rolling reviews that would force train operating companies to invest profits in reopening lines and stations.

With both Adonis and the Tories now in favour of longer franchises can we see an end to Dr Death's 'reign of timidity'?

Germans unveil low cost head end power unit

With a bowler tip to Turbostar...


Ouch!

2009 Railway Garden Competition - Balkan Chapter

This from Ben Jones of Model Rail magazine (which he assures Eye is piling on readers)...

Passing through Serbia on my way to Istanbul last week, I was extremely impressed by the countries efforts to win a Gold Medal in the European railway garden competition.


Belgrade’s main station is a particularly fine example of urban greenery, putting Network Rail’s efforts into perspective and setting them a challenging target for next year.


But, for sheer invention, the pile of scrap dumped alongside the new platforms at Athens Larissa station takes some beating. No prizes for spotting the ‘wild card’ item among the usual detritus.


Inspired by such sterling work from our European cousins, expect a raft of articles on how to grass over your Hornby track in Model Rail soon!

Pointless signs #14

This from a Mr MB...

I humbly offer an entry for the 'Pointless Signs' competition, spotted recently at Warrington Bank Quay.


One wonders if this is a statement of Virgin's policy regarding the employment of trans-gender staff...

UPDATE: This from Lazarus...

Not only a pointless sign but also a pointless comma which renders the message grammatically meaningless.

No need for a comma at all, or, if Virgin really want commas, put another one after "facilities".

UPDATE: This from Sir William Pollitt...

So few words, so many errors... the second comma from the sub-clause is absent (it should be after 'facilities') also the random and unnecessary capital letters ('male' and 'female' are NOT proper nouns) and the inaccurate running together of two words 'may and 'be' which, of course, should be separate.

Of course, a normal person would also have said 'person' rather than 'operative' and 'toilets' rather than 'facilities' - but as whoever commissioned this sign is clearly (deleted for reasons of taste. ED), we are not surprised.

Is there a new RE competition here, for the most illiterate railway sign? This horror takes some beating.

Andrew Scott to be Acting Director of NMSI

Internal Announcement

Andrew Scott to be Acting Director of NMSI

I have today on behalf of the Board of Trustees announced the appointment of Andrew Scott as Acting Director following the dismissal of Molly Jackson.

Ms Jackson was dismissed following questions that were raised about whether she had followed the NMSI’s Code of Conduct on potential conflicts of interest in her business dealings.

(Continues in excruciating detail for several paragraphs. Ed)

The recruitment of a new Director NRM is already underway and Andrew is reviewing what arrangements will be put in place in the meantime.

Any queries from the press should be referred to the press office in the normal way.

Lord Waldegrave

Who said Museum life was dull?