Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Introducing Eye's exciting new columnist...

...Glenda Flagg.

Hats off to dishy Lord Adonis!!?!! He's the Transport secretary that sent National Express a-slithering and a-wriggling off the East Coast!?! Often seen out and about on the railway while he sends his junior man on the buses!?!! Who cares he's promised more new railways with less money than George Hudson!!!???!! With vision like that you can electrify Glenda's line anytime m' Lord!!!?! Geddit!

Lord Adonis!!!?!! Who does he think he is, this back room boffin from Number 10!?!! Who put a nerdy trainspotter in charge of transport when the roads needed a-gritting!???!! Poor old Glenda was a-slipping and a-sliding and it wasn't with delight!!?!! Geddit! What does boffin boy know about real transport, busy drawing pretty lines on the map whilst FuCC goes to hell!!!???!!! And as for a Rolling Stock Plan, I wouldn't trust you to colour code the knickers in my undies drawer, sweetie!!!?!!!

You're fired. Ed