Ashballs - Noble Lord rewrites diagrams and TTs

Much hilarity in Rosco land.

As any fule kno Virgin has invested billions in new trains (omitting to mention of course that it was the Roscos what done it!).

Evidently sauce for the goose is jus for the gander.

On Friday ATOC claimed that Virgin had laid on an additional "2,000 extra seats", largely on Anglo-Scottish services.

Well done.

A triumph for market forces and common sense, what with NR cancelling planned engineering works and all.

But what's this?

Viewers of yesterday's Andrew Marr show heard no less a figure than Gordon Brown claim that Lord Adonis was responsible for laying on the extra trains (as well as more ferries and Eurostars)!

With the above spin in mind Eye can exclusively reveal that The Fact Compiler instructed The Thin Controller to suspend his electioneering Pilgrimage of Grice and return to London immediately to sort the crisis out.

Meanwhile aviation-head Captain Deltic is understood to be chairing COBRA at this very moment.

Further examples of blatent ashballs welcome.

UPDATE: This from Capt Clarence Oveur...

Kindly note that the term is Total Aviation Person (TAP) not "Aviation Head"!

UPDATE: This from Bulldog Drummond...

So with no aircraft flying what about getting on with high speed Paris to Peking (or is it London to Lhasa) that was floated by the Chinese earlier this year?

I'm sure if we even seemed half interested Chinese State Railways would be at the Calais before HS2 even gets to hybrid bill stage.