Wednesday 31 October 2012

How to negotiate with the Private Sector, No 94

Exciting news on Ministers' determination to get value for money from franchises!

Eye understands that the latest model, a five point plan known as the Pentangle, is both simple and effective and has even been signed off by the Devil .

New Ministerial Five Point Plan as follows:

1. Start off with at least two bidders, or one and a public sector comparator.

2. Stand down all bidders bar one, and immobilise the public sector comparator.

3. Confirm that only one private sector company is in the running. No, really!

4. React in a surprised fashion when the sole bidder bends your department over a table and rogers it senseless.

5. Thank the sole bidder manfully, then stick telephone directory down what is left of trousers before inevitable meeting with Treasury, PAC, NAO, TSC, etc...

Eye kids you not.