Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
One of KPMG's insightful suggestions on how to improve Network Rail governance is:
Did ORR really use our hard earned money to pay for this guff?
Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Railway Eye readers have already noted that KPMG appear unsure what infrastructure NR is actually responsible for (see post below).
Further inconsistencies have emerged.
In the executive summary of its review of Network Rail governance, the consultants list:
Possible options for further exploration regarding organisation of members.
These include:
Who says accountancy is all about detail?
(Note to ORR. This advice has cost you £75,000 at the standard hourly billable rate for Railway Eye Consultants)
...between the railway line pictured on the front cover of the ORR report into NR Corporate Governance and any assets that NR are actually responsible for. 
Perhaps NR's new Midlands & Continental territory is looking to expand?
Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Passengers on the first run of the "Hope Valley Executive", Cargo-D's Deltic-hauled dining train at the the weekend, were mystified to find a Mk 3 sleeping car marshalled on the rear.
There was much speculation over the reason for this as customers noshed their way across the Pennines behind 55022.
Was it for "executives" to take power naps after the port and stilton?
Or was it, as someone suggested, to provide the ultimate "have-it-away-day."?
Either way, it could perk up the flagging charter market!
Red Faces All Round at the West Coast Railway Company this morning.
Despite being their most prestigious charter train ever, passenger loadings on yesterdays 40th anniversary re-run of the 1T57 '15 Guinea Special' were described by on-board hacks as 'abysmal'.
Thousands lined the route from Liverpool to Carlisle yet it would appear that few travelled on the train itself.
The original 15 Guinea Special ran with 440+ plus passengers. Yesterdays re-run had less than half that number despite being the first public train to be hauled by celebrity kettle 70013 Oliver Cromwell following its recent overhaul.
High ticket prices were blamed by some potential punters not to mention the ridiculous return time into Liverpool (after 11pm on Sunday night).
But the recent high profile spat between 'Wet Coat' and Steam Railway mag, over allegations of 'over the wall spying' before the recent Carnforth open day, may have also played it's part.
So poor are Wet Coat's relations with Steam Railway, the UK's best selling kettle rag, that no ads for the charter appeared in the magazine, this despite its readers paying the lions share of Cromwell's overhaul. Staff on the mag were also advised that their presence on the charter would not be welcome.
All this on top of the recent Cumbrian bridge barbecue and reported poor loadings on the thrice weekly 'Scarborough Spa Express' means that these are not exactly happy times for 'Britain's Premier Charter Train Operator'.
While Crossrail has received Royal Assent it is unlikely that the proposed scheme will ever be built.
In tandem to the design put before the Select Committees of the Houses of Parliament a 'secret' plan with much reduced engineering (for example, smaller tunnels for tube-train sized rolling stock rather than the proposed 'mainline' sized carriages) has been prepared.
This 'value-managed' scheme is much more likely to be the one to be constructed.
Anyone fancy putting in an FOI request?
This particular entry is the subject of some debate amongst the judges of the Railway Garden Competition.
Is it a Railway Garden or a Station Garden?
The foilage says Railway but the even spacing suggests Station Garden.
Either way a commendable effort by Network Rail's new Midland and Continental team.
The railway garden is no different to those apogees of the Horticulturalists' art - the gardens at The Royal Hospital Flower Show, Chelsea.
Too little water and all your best endeavours are in vain.
At Crewe this particular problem has been overcome.
Such is the shiite state of the guttering that it pours endlessly over pillar, platform and passenger alike.
Lest Network Rail protest that the image above was taken during abnormal levels of rainfall (in August!) the Fact Compiler would like to point out the verdigris - attacking brick and dissolving 'gobbo' alike - a clear sign of long term neglect.
There was much angst in the media over Linda Buchanan who rebuked two young men for smoking on a platform and was thrown onto the railway for her troubles.
Victoria Coren in today's Observer took a different view.
Good on you Victoria!
Regular readers of Railway Eye will be aware that Captain Deltic has offered his services to Network Rail, as a Public Member, on more than one occasion. His spin doctor should have pointed out that if you really want to look credible with an AK47 you should have a spare magazine gaffa taped to the one in use. and the version with the folding tubular stock is even more warry. So not impressed. What’s your weapon of choice? You’re a strange and disturbing man, Captain
They will also be aware that for the third time this selfless and gracious offer has been declined.
Those who know the good Captain had assumed he had taken this set-back with his customary sang-froid and that even now he is steeling himself to respond once more to the nations call, should Network Rail allow.
Alas! Great sadness and shocking news!
It would appear that Saturday's rejection has had more than a passing effect upon that English Electric heart of gold, if a recent thread on Tom Harris' blog is to be believed.
As a service to the industry the Fact Compiler reproduces the disturbing exchange below:
The Fact Compiler fears that the good Captain may be preparing his very own unique route-and-branch reformation of NR's corporate governance!
Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
The Competition Commission report into the ROSCOs makes more and more interesting reading.
Providing of course that you can read between the commercially confidential lines:
a) Fifty-five of Angel’s 70-vehicle fleet of seven-year-old Class 180 Adelantes were returned by First Great Western following replacement by HSTs - [REMOVED] of these vehicles have been subsequently placed with [REMOVED], leaving [REMOVED] off-lease at the end of April 2008.
April?
It's now August and H*ll Tr**ns has got f**r on a t*n year lease. and V*rg*n Tr**ns signed a lease for two on J*l* 18th.
That leaves **ght still up for grabs. So Gr*nd C*nt*al is still in with a chance then?
Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Today the ORR published the report it commissioned into aspects of Network Rail’s governance.
Entitled "Network Rail: Membership aspects of governance", the KPMG report drew attention to a number of serious structural weaknesses in the role of Public Members including:
Rob Holden has been lobbying hard in the dead tree media over recent months to secure the top job at Crossrail.
Only last weekend the Independent on Sunday ran yet another puff piece saying the "Crossrail chairmanship interested Holden".
Alas it is not to be.
As predicted in Railway Eye last month BoJo will pay his electoral debt of gratitude to Steve Norris by making him Chairman of Cross London Rail Links; the TfL subsidiary tasked with taking the project forward.
With the top job sorted the next big question is who Shagger will bring with him to beef up the current Crossrail team. The Fact Compiler has a premonition that the supply chain may be in for a surprise!
Pre-recorded announcement on an SWT Juniper at Richmond station this morning.
"The door buttons are now activated"
Our correspondent wonders what particular problem this is a solution to?
Meanwhile no mention that the train is 12 late.
More fatuous on train announcements please
Read and weep:
SUMMARY: POO HIGH ST LC CCTV FLR
SOURCE: TSID, CCF, CCIL
FULL DETAIL: CCIL REF 320760
13:14 Advised by Poole signaller that he has no CCTV picture from High Street LC. He has tried swapping the cameras and monitors to no avail. Unable to lower the barriers until an attendant is onsite due to the volume of pedestrian traffic over this crossing.
1W29, 1105 Waterloo to Weymouth trapped.
13:20 1W31 1135 Waterloo-Weymouth will be held in platform 4 at Bournemouth pending developments at Poole.
13:33 Advised by Poole signaller that he now has the CCTV picture
1W31 1135 Waterloo-Weymouth will be held in platform 4 at Bournemouth pending developments at Poole.
13:33 Advised by Poole signaller that he now has the CCTV picture and trains are on the move again. Signaller had tried hitting the monitor to no effect but the late shift signaller has just arrived and hit the monitor a bit harder, now has a picture again.
START TIME: 1314LINES AFFECTED: UL/DL
TRAINS AFFECTED: 1W29/1W31
EQUIPMENT INVOLVED: CCTV
REPORTS REQUESTED Y/N: NO
*** 06/08/08 01:47 #QCIAM05 *** AMENDED
*** 06/08/08 08:46 #QCTDA10 *** AMENDED
FMS 131870
End of report
Angel Trains issued the following terse statement at 12:18 today:
“Angel Trains is studying the document and will be responding to the Competition Commission in connection with the proposed remedies in due course”. ENDS
And here is the missing last line of the release:
"Yesssss... Mr Brown, Ms Kelly, Dr Mitchell - your guys took a hell of a beating!"
The CoCo's Provisional Findings into allegations that the ROSCOs abused their market position was published this morning at 07:00.
Section 20 of the Provision Findings Summary gives a flavour of the rest of the document.
20. This lack of alternatives arises from the factors identified in paragraph 10. Some of these factors arise from the DfT placing restrictions on the choice of rolling stock in franchise ITTs, or because of obligations to retain particular rolling stock as a result of section 54 undertakings. We expect that the DfT’s Rolling Stock Plan will result in further limitations on the TOCs’ choices when negotiating with ROSCOs as the DfT seeks to influence the deployment of existing and new rolling stock to enhance capacity on the network.
Who will carry the can for this embarrassing debacle?
Perhaps the same Civil Serpant who originally promised he could shave £1bn off Rosco annual lease costs and when he couldn't suggested taking this to the CoCo in the first place.
We suspect not.
The Fact Compiler is grateful to Arriva Cross Country for sponsoring Railway Eye's first Bullshit Bingo Challenge.
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As one of the
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Further information etc...
The Fact Compiler would like to save Arriva a couple of bob by explaining that what customers "want from a train operator" is something called a train; preferably one which runs on time and goes where the timetable says it should go.
Was the PR monkey who wrote this tosh paid in money or bananas?
Guido Fawkes points out the dangers of being indiscreet on a train.
View Guido's post here.
The Fact Compiler rather enjoys listening into other people's on-train conversations.
Only last week two ladies were discussing a business meeting with a client.
"I was only 10 minutes late and they gave me a really hard time!" moaned one.
It transpired the meeting was with London Underground and the ladies had been commissioned to work on a new staff campaign.
The name of the campaign? "Valuing Time"!
Posts
August 8, 2008 at 1:05 pm