What's in a name?

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
We understand there was consternation at New Minster House when Lord Adonis rolled up after the recent reshuffle asking for directions to his office.

Apparently when discussing his new team with the PM, Geoff Hoon said that the department really needed someone who knew about railways.

Hoon, as a great admirer of the musicals of Andrew Lloyd-Webber, had been particularly impressed by the grasp of traction technology displayed by the musical lord in 'Starlight Express'.

'Could I have that bloke in the Lords, Andrew Whats-is-name, he seems to know his trains' he asked?

Since our Calvinist PM would have nothing to do with anything as frivolous as musicals he appointed the only Andrew in the Lords he knew.

This may, of course, be idle gossip without a foundation or truth; but it sort of rings true...

Sheffield steal

The gating of Sheffield station footbridge is causing Stagecoach franchise, East Midlands Trains, no end of trouble.

The installation of automatic ticket gates, originally a franchise commitment, is defended by Stagecoach on the grounds of revenue protection and reducing anti-social behaviour.

Meanwhile, the local burghers of Sheffield are up in arms as EMT's gating proposals will prevent pedestrians using a well established walkway linking the city centre with the large estates of Norfolk Park and Park Hill, as well as the station's tram stop (prop. Stagecoach).

In an attempt to defuse the row EMT proposes allowing "every person associated with Sheffield to register for a free smartcard which will allow access across the station".

A further concession will allow mobility impaired people access without restriction.

A reasonable compromise perhaps.

However, each smartcard will be issued against an address allowing EMT to "easily spot and tackle fraudsters".

Is The Fact Compiler alone in worrying about commerical operation Stagecoach creating a vast database of Sheffield citizens and recording their movements across the City?

Less is less

Telegrammed by The Master
One has to wonder who the bright spark is at VWC who thought that replacing all the quiet coach stickers with far fewer, smaller ones was actually a good idea.

Trying to get some antisocial cretins to take heed was bad enough before - now that you need a magnifying glass to read them and a map to find them it's bound to cause even more friction.

Perhaps it's a cunning plan to ensure that quiet coaches are abandoned all together?

Idiots

First... for shooting itself in the foot.

First Group runs rail services in the Bristol area (prop. Andrew Haines).

First Group also runs local bus services (prop. Nicola Shaw).

Here a picture, courtesy of Mathew White & the BBC, of a First Group bus wedged beneath a railway bridge in Station Road, Blackwell.

Perhaps Andrew could remind Nicola about the disruption caused by bridge strikes?

Get thee gone from this place!

The Fact Compiler was in danger of listening to the hype, almost believing that new Secretary of State for Transport, Geoff Hoon, was a good thing.

Unfortunately he now realises that this is bollocks - as evidenced by Hoon's fervent desire to erode further our freedoms.

As the Government had the cheek this week to freeze the UK funds of Icelandic banks, using anti-terror legislation, it might have been reasonable to assume that they would be too embarrassed to propose further restrictions on civil liberties (restrictions which would be equally vulnerable to misuse).

Alas Hoon, and those who share his desire to control and dominate their fellow citizens have no shame and certainly, ought not to be trusted.

Ministry of Truth

Is the National Audit Office now colluding in DafT's dishonest declarations about the amount of new rolling stock it has ordered?

According to the BBC it is:

"The NAO said 1,300 new train carriages had been ordered, and ministers say they are tackling passenger growth."

Poppycock!

Captain Deltic calculates that, "because of a combination of double counting and someone in DafT keying in 42 (for 24) the real total is only 1,156 vehicles".

He is of course an optimist!

Meanwhile it is disingenuous for the BBC to claim "ministers say they are tackling passenger growth" because none of these vehicles have been built yet!

So BBC - bias or balls-up?

Mad Cowes

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
According to a reader's letter in today's Daily Telegraph:

'In the 50 years of nationalised railways virtually no repair or maintenance was carried out and it took 10 years after privatisation and a mountain of money to bring them up to scratch'.

The writer lives in the Isle of Wight, and probably has restricted access to sharp implements.

Health warning

The Fact Compiler has received the following helpful information from a reader:

As there is a lot of meeting and greeting in the railway industry this news story is a salutary warning

Northerners have the dirtiest hands!

Those attending the NRM dinner on 23rd October may be well advised to wear latex gloves.

ECML delay

The chaos caused by Network Rail's publication of it's East Coast capacity assessment report continues unabated.

Latest to be hit by the mad scribblings of NR's timetable planners are those hoping for additional ECML paths in the December timetable.

ORR's announcement on who had won the paths was due at the end of October, but the regulatory body is now blaming the East Coast capacity assessment for its inability to reach a decision.

As yet no new date for this announcement has been set.

What was Network Rail thinking of?

Robson Jam

Telegrammed by The Raver

One of the non-executive directors of the Royal Bank of Scotland is none other than Sir Steve Robson.

 

Robson it will be remembered is the former senior Treasury mandarin who pushed for vertical disaggregation on the railways. 

 

Now he clearly did not do his job in trying to prevent RBS from overextending itself. 

 

Shockingly, the non-execs are surviving the purge of the RBS bosses because, apparently, there is a shortage of candidates. 

 

Surely there are more than enough competent and qualified bankers looking for lucrative part time jobs...

 

 

 

Renationalisation?

***An old timer speaks***

Freed

*** RMT demanding an apology from transport police after two track workers arrested in connection with the Grayrigg crash and kept under caution for eleven months were finally cleared today.***

Read the RMT release here

Kneel

Christian Wolmar has emailed to thank those Railway Eye readers who sponsored his half marathon on Sunday.

"I ran the half marathon in just over two hours - not bad for an old timer!" he writes.

Here is our man in action.

Judging by the marks on Wolmar's knees he left nothing to chance, beseeching the help of Higher Powers for his Sabbath breaking run.

Finn soup

Blogging MP Derek Wyatt has taken up the cudgels on behalf of his local heritage railway.

Railway Eye readers will recollect that the Sittingbourne Railway is threatened with closure by its Finnish landlords.

See Derek's update on progress here.

Further proof, if it were needed, of how the interweb can help MPs communicate not just with their constituents but also with those interested in particular topics or campaigns.

In space no one can hear you scream

A petition has been added to the No 10 website against the proposed withdrawal of rail services between Walsall and Wolverhampton.

It has been posted by Lee Fletcher, the moderator of the The First Great Western Coffee Shop Forum.

View the No 10 petition here.

The Fact Compiler doesn't hold out much hope that anyone at DafT will listen - but full marks for trying.

Quiet!

Is there a section in Debrett's Guide to Modern Manners that deals with this?

The Modern Dilemma

If it's not policed then it's not worth having. And who should do the policing - the passenger or the train crew?

I am not a number

The Fact Compiler has been asked to help with a survey on ticket machine use.

Normally this sort of request would be placed in the circular filing cabinet, under recycle.

However, just as the delete button was about to be fingered, a press release from Passenger Focus thudded into the inbox:

"South West Trains and Passenger Focus have today released research showing passengers are still queuing at ticket offices despite knowing that ticket machines are available.

Although 78% of people questioned in the survey said they had used ticket vending machines, a variety of reasons were highlighted for those who had not tried them including wanting a more personal service, being unable to get the ticket they required and not being sure how to use the machine."

Sounds like the wrong question was asked.

Therefore, Railway Eye readers may like to answer the right question which can be found at the I work for First Great Western website.

That should save FGW a couple of bob on research - which The Fact Compiler hopes they will put in the new train kitty.

Numbers

National Express East Coast is reporting much improved performance.

"Latest statistics covering four weeks to Sunday, October 12, show that for the first time since rail privatisation in 1996, National Express East Coast’s public performance measure (PPM) – the percentage of trains arriving at their destination within ten minutes of time – reached 91.2 per cent."

Good news!

Especially when we are hearing that a certain owner group is planning to announce swinging headcount reductions across all its franchises.

Railway Garden Competition #15

Off to the beautiful Derbyshire spa town of Buxton.

The Romans called the town “Aquae Arnemetiae” which translates as “The Waters of the Goddess of the Spring”.

And here are those self same waters - beautifully preserved by Network Rail.

Note the small oblations, lovingly gifted to the goddess, surrounding what once must have been the high altar.


Rumour has it that EWS will be refurbishing the station - and not a moment too soon.

Pips squeeking

So First Great Western has been cap in hand to the Department to renegotiate it's £1.1bn franchise

A freedom of information request, reported in today's Bristol Evening Post, reveals that the train operator is looking to reduce it's franchise premiums so it can obtain more rolling stock.

The Fact Compiler would like to know from where?