Bonus ball

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
According to the Daily Telegraph, the Rugby Football Union has agreed a deal that should ease the rail chaos at Twickenham during the Six Nations Championship.

Network Rail has now pledged to suspend disruptive work when England are playing at home in the Six Nations.

That would never have happened if Network Rail had not attracted the best international management talent with its modest bonus system.

Boris snow storms out

***BBC reports Mayor flounces out of the TSC***

Bombardier - braking news...

Telegrammed by Ithuriel
Good to see Bombardier is acknowledging its quality problems.

According to their latest press release on today's NXEA Electrostar order:

"The units will also feature the renowned and sophisticated BOMBARDIER MITRAC propulsion and controls system to recover and feed back energy while breaking".

Presumably that anticipates the underfloor mounted equipment-cases falling off as braking forces over-stress the faulty welds on their support beams.

Money for old rope...

This from an irate reader!

I received the following invitation to an event called "Railway Improvement: Rail services for the modern commuter".

"Rail travel has never been under the public spotlight as it is today," the blurb says.

But that's just not true.

It was more under the public spotlight after Hatfield, or when Railtrack collapsed.

It's much less under the spotlight now than then.

This is just nonsense verbiage, written without the slightest reference to the facts.

I also note Wolmar is a speaker, no doubt explaining how train lavatories should ditch paper and use his patent water-squirting device...

The Fact Compiler may attend just to hear this!

Network Rail bonus saga

***Coucher launches offensive in FT***

Project Argus: We're all suspects now!

This from a very concerned citizen...

It was revealed recently that the Government was training up 60,000 civilians to "fight terrorism".

This scheme is called 'Project Argus' and is being rolled out across the country.

Today I've seen some excerpts from the course literature. The general advice ( not referring specifically to railway stations ) includes ...

• Tourists should not necessarily be taken as such and should be treated sensitively, but with caution.

• Be on guard for anyone possessing maps, global positioning systems, photographic equipment including cameras, zoom lenses and camcorders

• Be on guard for people taking pictures, filming, making notes, sketching of the security measure at tourist attractions

The Eye recommends interning all Tourists and Photographers on the Isle of Man immediately.

UPDATE: This from Bushcutta...

Good to see London Underground is already preparing the first boatload for Douglas.

According to the BBC...

"London Underground (LU) passengers are being urged to help log London's bird population by entering a photographic competition.

"Entrants are asked to photograph wild birds within a five-minute walk of a Tube station for a chance to win a prize in the Mind the Bird contest."

Just because you think you're innocent doesn't mean you're not Guilty!

Selling England by the pound

Timing, as they say, is everything.

Oh happy circumstance!

Whilst Brown was bonding today with Obama who should finally be announced as the £400m Project Delivery Partner for Crossrail but... US mega firm Bechtel!

Now we know the price of the Special Relationship, it would be interesting to understand precisely what Gordon has secured from Barrack in return.

If it doesn't result in a very large number of "British Jobs for British Workers" then be assured Gordon - it's your pension they'll be after next!

Rudi... a message for you...

The Fact Compiler is unsure whether this is an All Fools' Day spoof or not.

According to the Liverpool Echo...

MERSEYRAIL will give away 10,000 pairs of flip flops to footsore racegoers after Ladies’ Day at Aintree.

The flip flops – branded with the Merseyrail logo – will be handed out by volunteers to women waiting to catch their trains from Aintree station on Friday, and on the day of the Grand National itself.

Either way it doesn't matter.

As the PR who placed the story tipped off the Eye, it gets in!

Good effort the PR team at Merseyrail!

Lager mentality

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Are stories about the recession a load of old rubbish?

Overheard on today's largely empty 11:30 Euston to Glasgow.

Rubbish collector to Train Manager: "Well you can tell passenger numbers are going down. Less and less rubbish on the train, not much work to do today. And the working classes aren't travelling - there's hardly any lager cans down the back of the seat."

Memo to Gordon Brown: Instead of the Retail Price Index as a guide to the recession, how about the Virgin Rubbish Production Index?

Arise Sir Kevin?

This from the Oakham Rambler...

As a former practitioner in the art of spin, I agree that Network Rail’s spinmeister-in-chief Kevin Groves deserves a pat on the back for persuading Evening Standard veteran hack Dick Murray to write an-all-too-rare positive story about railways (Network Rail promises £35bn rail revolution, Standard front page 31 March).

However, before prematurely bestowing upon cool-hand Kev the title of PR manager of the decade, let’s wait and see how he handles the media feeding frenzy that will undoubtedly follow the impending announcement of fat-cat bonuses for Notwork Rail directors.

If Kev-the-spin can persuade the baying pack that Coucher and co. deserve a top-up to their already inflated salaries, he will be due a knighthood.

And not just a knighthood. If he can pull off the PR equivalent of raising the Titanic then he should bill Iain for half his bonus as well!

All quiet on the bonus front

***Silence is Golden - as indeed are bonuses***

All change at Crossrail

This from NCE...

Doug Oakervee will step down from his role as Crossrail executive chairman today, but will not be in the office as he is fulfilling jury service commitments. London and Continental boss Rob Holden takes over tomorrow.

From Wednesday, Oakervee will take up his new post of Non-Executive Chairman.

And the Project Delivery Partner is...

Don't forget your Tiffin Box

It gets worse!

First on train catering hits the wall.

Now the station caterer of choice is accused of being over leveraged!

One piece of good news.

At least carriage seats won't need to get any bigger.

Parting gift

This from Thameslink Tommy...

"The surprise departure of Elaine Holt, our highly regarded MD, quickly circulated around the industry. Judging from the response, you were as shocked as we were.

"Of course First has form; Long, Haines, Forster... But it also looks after it's own. So despite yesterday's announcement Elaine remains in place till Friday.

"One of her final duties this week was to oversee the transfer of maintenance at Hornsey Depot from Bombardier to FCC's own in-house team.

"So even on her way out she leaves the TOC a better place. We shall miss her!"

The Fact Compiler is intrigued.

Fleet owner HSBC Rail would have needed to agree this change in the 365s' maintenance regime.

Is all not well between Montréal and Shanghai?

Brunelballs

Using your skill and judgement spot the difference between these two quotes:

Iain Coucher: "Network Rail is ready to unleash the biggest expansion since the age of Brunel."

Andrew Lezala: "Brunel left his mark imprinted on our lives in numerous ways... the Herculean task that we are undertaking at Metronet might even be comparable."

Then in no more than 500 words explain why they received completely different treatment by the Evening Standard.

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

Actually Brunel didn't build a lot of railway when compared with the Stephensons and Locke. And five years before his death the total railway network amounted to only 6,000 miles - half today's route mileage.

Perhaps Iain Coucher should take George Hudson as his exemplar if he and his spinmeisters are trying to revive railway mania in the 21st Century ?

Jarvis news

Jarvis Pre Close Trading Statement

Operating costs in the 2009/2010 financial year will be reduced to reflect the lower demand for Rail and Plant services. It is expected that the associated restructuring will result in approximately 450 redundancies across various depots and locations.

Where did it all go wrong?

Too clever by half

Good news for the Department for Transport

This celebratory press release reaches The Fact Compiler from National Express East Coast:

TWELVE railway stations on the East Coast Main Line have been awarded a national security rating

The Secure Stations scheme is a Government-backed initiative aimed at improving personal security at railway stations.

National Express East Coast’s head of stations Anna Heathcote said: “Our customers should feel safe and secure at all times. This important accreditation is the result of a lot of hard work by our employees, in partnership with the transport police.

Good news indeed.

Especially for York and Darlington both winners of the award.

So with such high standards of security in evidence presumably My Lord Adonis and Dicky Bowker will now backtrack on their expensive, unnecessary and unpopular gating proposals?

Move over Ali Campbell

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Kevin Groves is little less than a God!!

Anyone who can persuade feared Standard Transport Corr Dick Murray that a miserly regulatory settlement which Network Rail nearly rejected is really a:

£35billion rail revolution

And splash it as a front page lead has to be in the running for PR Manager of the Year if not the Decade.

But what is this master persuader, who puts Ali Campbell in the shade, still doing at NR?

Any day now we expect an announcement that he has been called in by DafT to re-spin the 1300 vehicles disaster.

That will be a real challenge!

We are not amused

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Vanished Victoriana - The mystery deepens.

Regular Eye readers may recall how, just before Christmas, Network Rail bulldozers mysteriously blitzed the splendid Victorian buildings of north London's Primrose Hill station on the eve of a campaign by local residents to get it reopened.

What happened to the splendid Victorian ironwork, worth thousands in the railwayana or architectural salvage markets?

Was it flogged down the pub?

Is it adorning someone's back garden?

Now the current issue of the local paper, the Camden New Journal, reports that local MP "Big Frank" Dobson is getting involved.

Dobbo is seeking more information about the debacle. Who authorised the demolition? Who in Transport for London was consulted? Why were local people, ignored? Where has all the heritage gone?

It's not just Dobbo and the locals who are seeking answers.

The incoming Tory government have got NR and its unaccountable ways in their gunsights.

If someone doesn't fess up, this could be more a case for Inspector Knacker than Miss Marple.

For you the railway is over...

This from the BBC...

The head of Germany's railway company, Deutsche Bahn, has offered to resign after the company admitted spying on thousands of its employees.

Old habits die hard.