Pointless signs - Wakefield Kirkgate

Derbygate: By Royal Appointment...

This from The Mirror...

Prince of Wales to visit Bombardier in morale-booster for workers

He will make a much-needed visit to engineers at the historic Bombardier plant next Friday just two weeks after the Canadian owners spared it from closure

Good on HRH!

Can it be long, Eye wonders, before Gideon and the Department for Transfer arrange a visit to Newton Aycliffe by Naruhito, the Crown Prince of Japan?

UPDATE: This from Otto von Primark...

To save any Thameslink embarrassment will Prinz Karl avoid travelling to Derby in der königliche Zug (prop DB)?

Latest ABC - Railway Magazine up over 6%

It's ABC time again...

As Eye points out each year most industry titles don't submit their circulations to ABC audit, so a bowler tip to those who do.

Here the 2011 circulation figures for industry titles (with 2010 figures in brackets):

Railway Magazine 36,523 (34,168)

Steam Railway 32,266 (32,441)

RAIL magazine 19,801 (20,006)

Railway Gazette International 10,548 (10,258)
Eye's man in the Dead Tree Media comments:
Whilst the general trend in the print market is one of declining sales, railway titles are holding up well. Railway Magazine, sold by IPC in 2010 to Mortons, is the market leader for the 5th successive year and has recorded an impressive growth in sales of 6.85%! But with the chill winds of recession blowing across all sectors of the economy it’s going to be tough in 2012.

Eye wonders if the new owners of Ian Allan's railway titles will submit to ABC audit?

UPDATE: This from Citizen Kane...
Eye readers may be interested to see the circulation of some other titles.

The Beano manages 38,333, whilst Bob The Builder pulls in a mere 37,505.

On the plus side their circulations are down 4.4% and 16.9% respectively.

PM in Paris and in unrelated news...

So today the Prime Minister is in Paris signing an agreement with the Frenchies to rescue the beleaguered UK nuclear power industry.

iDave is to be praised for ensuring that the lights will remain on and electric trains can continue running for a good few years yet.

Meanwhile, in unrelated news, Eye would like to congratulate Keolis SA and SNCF on winning the West Coast franchise.

ORR in 'tell them nothing' shocker

This from Our Man at 222 Marylebone Road...

It is of course quite understandable that the ORR's new publication 'GB rail industry financial information 2010-11' doesn't provide figures for individual TOCs on grounds of commercial sensitivity.

However...


Photoshopping out the painted numbers of the DMU on the publication's cover is perhaps going a little bit far?

Network Rail calls time on Quagmire commute

This from Billy Connections...

I note that Railnews is reporting the following:

A REQUIREMENT that Network Rail staff must not live more than a certain distance from the company's new HQ in Milton Keynes has angered the white collar rail union TSSA, which is accusing the company of acting 'illegally'.

Hmmm...

It's all very well Network Rail mandating a maximum of 75 minutes commuting time for employees at the new Milton Keynes headquarters, but has management thought through the details of the rule.

For a start does it apply to home-front-door to office-front-door? Is it station to station, is it wheels rolling to wheels stationary?

Is it based on the Working Timetable or the GB Public Timetable? The WTT, produced by NR's timetablers has shorter journey times than the GBPTT which includes allowances determined by the TOCs.

Will the timetablers at MK suddenly become very popular when a minute cut from a schedule means that you can continue to live in your agreeable six bedroom detached house rather than a three bed semi in MK's concrete city?

Will the civil engineers suddenly become everyone's best mates, when lifting a PSR that has the same effect?

Will the HR department face claims for constructive dismissal backed by Timetabling Consultancies?

And, finally, who is to head up the new, 20 strong, Commuting Range Analsysis Group?

Ken addresses HS2's 'Euston Problem'

This from Aslef...

ASLEF has welcomed initial plans for the construction of two major new underground lines announced by Ken Livingstone.

Labour’s candidate for London Mayor has said that, if elected, he will introduce Crossrail 2 which would connect Wimbledon and Epping via Chelsea and Hackney and also bring in Crossrail 3 which would allow passengers on high speed trains from Scotland and the north of England to reach the south via London on the same train.

Interesting.

Full marks to Ken for at least attempting to address 'The Euston Problem', which HS2 apparently hopes will just go away.

UPDATE: This from, a rather cynical, Fairydust...

Can I have some of what Ken is clearly on, please?

ROSCOs show great minds think alike

Exciting news from the febrile land of Bowtie, Bow-tie and Glasses!

According to The Drum...

Angel Trains is launching a new marketing campaign as it looks to raise its profile in the rail industry.

The train leasing company is working with Leeds agency Brass on a campaign which includes press advertising, PR and internal communications.

A series of ads featuring real Angel Trains employees are now running in rail industry titles.

Kevin Tribley, chief operating officer at Angel Trains, said: "The unique campaign features Angel Trains people and examples of their excellence."

Angel is to be congratulated for breaking the mould and giving the nasty ROSCOs a human face with its 'unique campaign'.

But what's this?

Porterbrook ran a remarkably similar series of ads, focusing on its people, way back in 2004!


Eye wonders if these two campaigns are perhaps related?

UPDATE: This from a Mr Phil Haigh...

Perhaps the Fact Compiler should speak to his nemesis, the soi disant 'veteran observer' and one time ROSCO PR monkey, to confirm whether the two are linked?

I understand they may be related! (Shurely shome mishtake? Ed)

UPDATE: This from Ithuiel...

Oh no, not more soft PR from the ROSCOs seeking to be understood, if not loved and admired.

Don't they realise that the only thing government understands is superior force and if they stood up and fought their corner on issues like DDA and IEP we'd all be a lot better off.

The same goes for the lily livered franchise owners

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

How about an advertisement aimed at generating new business?

A photo of a Pendolino with the tag line:

"£20,000 less per vehicle per month than IEP - you know it makes sense".

UPDATE: This from Leo Pink...

Perhaps all those involved in such vanity advertising might like to consider the following famous quote about corporate advertising:

"It's like peeing down your trouser leg. No one knows you are doing it but it gives you a warm feeling"

Red Spotted Snotter

Good to see that on-line retailer Red Spotted Hanky is on top of their game!

This taken today:


And NXEA is still listed on the menu at the bottom of each page, but alas no mention of Southeastern, Merseyrail, London Midland, Hull Trains, Grand Central or Northern.


One or two holes in this particular ATOS hanky.

The case of the Silent Dog (Episode 3)

Telegrammed by 221b Baker Street
'I say, Holmes, what do you make of the strange case of Network Rail's abandoned Management Incentive Plan?

'Watson, you will of course have noted the significance of the strongly worded statement on this matter from the Chair and CEO of the Office of Rail Regulation?'

'But Holmes, they have said nothing!'

'That, Watson, is the significance.'

Pointless signs - Southern serving Soton

This with a bowler tip to Eye's campanologist friend @SteadmanSlowSix...


As nobody pronounces the 'p' in Southampton, @SouthernRailUK have removed it from their on train maps!

UPDATE: This from a Mr Weaver (no not that one, another one)...

You should see how they've spelt Moulsecomb (with an e on the end - Moulsecoombe), and Hilsea (with two 'l' - Hillsea).

No doubt Eye's proof reading service will enable these to be corrected as well?

Pointless signs - DDA edition

These courtesy of the The Wheeled Avenger...



...who is currently languishing at the bottom of the above Marks Tey stairs!

NR Annual Meeting adjourned

This from Network Rail...

NETWORK RAIL GENERAL MEETING ADJOURNED

Network Rail's general meeting to discuss directors' remuneration was adjourned today. Rick Haythornthwaite, chairman, said: "Today's meeting is the latest leg in an 18-month search to find the answer to a crucial question - how can we retain and attract talent to meet the very significant challenges that Network Rail takes on daily - while at the same time, make our remuneration approach better aligned with taxpayer needs, tougher in its demands and less lucrative in its potential reward. This dilemma remains unresolved."

No doubt the fragrant Justine is busy working on a solution to this very dilemma which, lest we forget, she created?

Keith Vaz - the eternal optimist?

This from a Mr Saltaire

I thought Eye readers might be interested in this 8th February contribution from Keith Vaz to a debate on the Police:

I hope that the Minister will look again at pay and conditions and will try to bring Mr Winsor under a little bit of control. We are dealing not with railways—I know Mr Winsor was the rail regulator—but with real people in real jobs who protect our constituents. They are the people we lionise in times of crisis, and we should reward them properly for the work they do.

Better men have tried Keith, and failed!

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

In fact it took the Railways Act 2005 and the change of ORR from 'Office of the Rail Regulator' to Office of Rail Regulation' to do it.

But was it an improvement?

At least with Tom the Regulatory prose was clear and to the point.

LUL's ERU to get 'Blues & Twos'

According to the Docklands and East London Advertiser...

The ‘rapid response’ teams called out to tackle emergencies on the London Underground are getting ‘blue light’ priority and police drivers to get them through traffic.

A trial is being carried out with British Transport Police to halve response times, with TfL emergency vehicles being fitted with the same flashing blue lights used by police, fire and ambulance services.

About time too!

LUL's Emergency Repsonse Unit really is London's 4th Emergency Service.

Transport Select Committee - NR to attend

This from the Transport Select Committee...

NETWORK RAIL – ORAL EVIDENCE SESSION

Tuesday 13 March 2012

The Transport Committee will be taking oral evidence from Network Rail’s Chief Executive, David Higgins on Tuesday 13 March at 10.05 am, followed by witnesses from the Office of Rail Regulation.

Announcing the session Louise Ellman, Transport Committee Chair, said:

“Network Rail must be accountable to Parliament for the performance of the railway, safety, information for passengers, planning for new projects, and costs. We will pursue these issues and also find out what the rail regulator has done to improve Network Rail’s performance.”

Please check our website nearer the time for the location and full witness details.

Perhaps the TSC might also like to invite Ms Greening to this session, so that she can explain what convinced her to oppose NR's Management Incentive Plan at such a late stage in the process?

UPDATE: This from Sir Humphrey Beeching...

I am sure no one would dream of asking the First Division to provide a sacrificial lamb, so as to spare ministerial blushes.

Why, the very thought is preposterous.

Pointless signs - Didcot Parkway

Eye is unsure if this is a spoof...


...if not perhaps a reader can explain its point?

UPDATE: This from a Mr Peters...

You asked if 'Culham ?' was a spoof.

I expect it was found near the Turbo stop mark on the platform.

If so it is a 'cheap and cheerful' way to remind drivers to check if they should be calling at Culham (the next station towards Oxford), as most trains do not and this can help to reduce the risk of an erroneous 'fail to stop'.

I have seen something similar (but more permanent) at Bache on Merseyrail, reminding drivers to check if they call at Capenhurst as only half of the trains on that route do.

UPDATE: This from Chionanthus Virginicus, evidently in playful mood...

Can we hope for a similar poster (below) to be displayed outside Marsham Street?

Of course having blinkers rather than cabside windows may explain DfT's apparent tunnel vision.

DfT launches Operation Derail

Eye can exclusively reveal why the Department has been so effective this week!

Half of them aren't there.

Under Operation Step Change, 50% of staff have been asked to stay at home, travel at different times or 're-mode' (yes, really) as a practice run for the Olympics.

Apparently so many have risen to the challenge of staying at home, there's no one left to make all those tricky decisions, silence Greenhorn ministers, etc...

Heaven help us in August.

Carry On team does the railway - EXCLUSIVE

Eye is delighted to hear that the Carry On team are about to release a new film - Carry On up the Railway


Plot summary: Sir David Ruff-Digger looks after the British railway network. Protected by Col Richard Right-Pryce and the members of the Third Foot and Mouth regiment (ORR Division), you would think they were safe.

But the treacherous Khazi of Greening has other ideas. Having signed off the Baksheesh necessary to keep the network running she is ambushed in a TV studio and completely rewrites government policy!

Fun and japes ensue as the Khazi of Greening tries to justify her volte-face as hoards of senior managers desert the railway and trains grind to a halt.

Cast:

Sir David Ruff-Digger - Sid James

The Khazi of Greening - Hattie Jacques

Crawford Rani of SpAds - Joan Sims

Col Richard Right-Pryce - Charles Hawtrey

Maria the Eagle - Fenella Fielding

Tom Harris MP - Bernard Bresslaw

George Osborne - Kenneth Williams

The Passenger - Terry Scott

"This one will run and run, unlike the trains." Conservative Party Central Office

Rated PG (contains scenes of mild violence and institutional incompetence).

Passenger information... delayed

This from the Office of Rail Regulation...

Securing better passenger information

Train operators have asked for more time to prepare for new obligations aimed at ensuring passengers receive appropriate, accurate and timely information, the Office of Rail Regulation (ORR) confirmed today.

Oh the irony!