Wednesday, 10 October 2012

West in rebellion over high-handed commissioners

This epistle from My Lord Abbot of Pewsey...

Much commotion in the Vale of Pewsey as has not been seen since the Prayer Book Rebellion almost reached here in 1549!

 It was occasioned by the issuing of the Great Western franchising ITT.  This document seems to decree that direct links  between the West of England from the Metropolis should be severed once electric lines are installed. 

Pewsey travellers will be forced to change at Newbury, where apparently people have whistles blown at them.

At a packed meeting last week in the village hall the good citizens of the Vale expressed their great disquiet at this manifestation of what they have been told is called the 'sparks effect'.  

There was little satisfaction that such sainted figures as Christopher Stokes had denounced the current franchising methods in the Financial Times as not fit for purpose and a deep suspicion remains that there are those in the DfT who consider the local services on the Berks and Hants Railway as an irritating appendage that should be surreptitiously run down. 

As is the custom these days a petition has been established and prayers are also being offered for Richard Brown and those working with him, that they will be guided by good sense and that through travel will prevail.

UPDATE: This from Dreadnought...

Regarding the observation that people have whistles blown at them in Newbury.  

Not wishing to be pedantic but I think you will find that the tale related by Mr Gerard Francis Gisborne Twistleton-Wykeham-Fiennes OBE actually related to people from Newbury having whistles blown at them in Reading.

UPDATE: The Fact Compiler asks:

Do you come from Newbury? 

Have you had a whistle blown at you in an intimidating manner be a member of Western Region Staff?

Or perhaps you live in Reading and are more used to that sort of thing?

Either way Eye doesn't give a hoot or a shrill blast on the whistle... (That's enough being rude to readers on the Western. Ed)