Mediaballs - Taking the pi$$ but not on Southern

Much nonsense being spoken by the Chatterati about the absence of loos on trains due to operate between Portsmouth and Brighton.

This tosh from the BBC...

Southern Railway to axe toilets from new train fleet

A train company has been branded a "disgrace" by union chiefs after it emerged some of its new fleet will have no toilets on board.

Southern Railway opted to forgo the facilities on its latest trains running on the Portsmouth to Brighton service.

The Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers' union (RMT) said on a journey of that length it was "unacceptable".

Where to begin?

First, despite over excited twitterings to the contrary, Southern are not withdrawing loos from all its trains.

Secondly, the 'new trains' that will serve the Portsmouth - Brighton route are no such thing. They are Class 313s which are over thirty years old. They never had loos and never will.

Operating trains without loos on a journey of over an hour is also not new - there appear to be little objections to passengers travelling from Waterloo to Weybridge via Hounslow on Class 455s.

And lets not even start talking about South Eastern's 'metro' (Class 376) fleet.

Or for that matter LUL sub-surface and tube stock where end to end journeys on many lines can comfortably exceed an hour.

The reasons that passengers on these routes tend not to complain about the lack of on-board facilities is that their journeys are generally short.

Perhaps surprisingly Bob Crow claimed that the 'new' trains risked turning carriages into "stinking cattle trucks" creating appalling conditions for passengers and staff.

With Voyagers and Pendolini in mind one would have thought that not installing modern toilet units would actually prevent the usual stink to be found in vestibule areas, unless of course the flexible spaces replacing the loos really are very flexible indeed?

Eye wonders whether all this RMT special pleading points to a pre-Christmas pub crawl between Brighton and Portsmouth? You have been warned.

UPDATE: This from the Old Member...

The Fact Compiler might wish to consult with Annie Mole on the corrosion issue which LUL used to discreetly refer to as the 'J door problem' whereby the J Door - providing access from the main saloon into the driver's cab, suffered severe electrolytic corrosion along the bottom edge due to the dampness experienced inside the driving compartment. This was especially a problem on 1938 stock where there were often intermediate cabs in the train formation.

This problem may well have occurred to a lesser degree on the old Blue Trains (now due a golden jubilee celebration - introduced 1960). I have heard of backpackers in desperation having come in from a ferry at Gourock or Wemyss Bay using the gangway connection between carriages with doors closed and guarded to form an improvised 'stall'.

Perhaps this information may lead to Southern removing the inter-carriage doors , as a measure to prevent corrosion.

UPDATE: This from Captain James Bigglesworth...

Vickers Viscounts ran into corrosion problems around the tail spar.

This was due to people with poor aim causing critical levels of corrosive liquid to build up in this vital area. The toilets were at the rear of the cabin.

Far better to relieve oneself into an old beer bottle and lob it out of the window when over the Hun lines.

UPDATE: This from Tony Miles...

One fleet of trains currently being overhauled is requiring extensive work to the drivers' cab doors - with the lower part of the inside having to be replaced because of... damage by urine.

Strangely these trains are fitted with toilets for the passengers but clearly the drivers and or conductors (many of which must be RMT members) have been unable to control themselves regardless of the facilities fitted to the trainsets.

Mr Crow may like to put his own house in order before going public with his error-strewn rants.

UPDATE: This from Aslef, penned in Keith Norman's name...

Southern has decided to remove toilets from its new fleet running along the hour-and-a-half Portsmouth to Brighton line

No they haven't!

There were no toilets to remove and its not a new fleet.

Come on Keith, get a grip!

Pointless signs - outside Birmingham New Street

This from Trailer Second...

While wasting charter minutes outside New Street I started to think - this is not my idea of limited clearance.



Have we suddenly changed over to Berne Gauge?

Tom Harris MP - vote early, vote often!

Tom Harris MP is threatening to abandon blogging.

He posted the following on Saturday...

So if you hate this blog and you have a Labour MP, persuade him/her to vote for me in the Shadow Cabinet elections.

The Fact Compiler has mixed views on this.

Tom would make an excellent member of the Shadow Cabinet and his communications skills combined with his moderate and reasoned stance on many issues would prove attractive to many floating voters at the next election.

However, were Tom elected to the Shadow Cabinet he would have to resign his membership of the Transport Select Committee. The loss of a former Transport Minister with first hand experience of the DfT's inner workings would inevitably reduce that Select Committee's ability to effectively hold the Department to account.

It also goes without saying that Tom's blog would be greatly missed.

So on balance Eye readers are invited to do all they can to keep Tom blogging (and Labour out of power).

Did you see what Eye did there?

Lookalike - The XJS Men

With a bowler tip to Tom Harris MP who tweeted this picture of Petrol-head enjoying last night's National Rail Awards.

The future of rail... is bleak!

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
Flyers have just been circulated for the 2010 Future of Rail conference in mid November.

Closing the morning session will be a presentation by Elaine Holt on turning around the East Coast Main Line.

Among the questions she will be answering will be:

1) What action has been taken to turn the line around?
2) What is still to come?
3) What can other TOCs take on board from the East Coast experience?
4) What wider implications do the East coast events have for franchising in the UK?

For those who can't wait for the answers, or think the conference a little pricey, Railway Eye can save you £992.28 (including VAT)

The answers are:

1) Sack anyone with any experience (the Pol Pot strategy)
2) More sackings
3) Treat it as an awful warning
4) Treat is as an awful warning

Of course those really keen to know the future of rail post CSR could always attend the Derby and Derbyshire Rail Forum annual conference, headlined by Sir Roy McNulty on the 4th November, for the princely sum of £100!

Rail awards result in high level exposure

Much excitement after last night's National Rail Awards.

Several attendees at the industry's annual bun-fight were awoken in the wee small hours when the fire alarm at their Bayswater hotel was activated.

But which guest, a director of a well nown Derby engineering firm, exited his room with such alacrity that he appeared in the hotel's foyer with nothing more than a pair of briefs to protect his modesty?

Eye understands that the apparition caused great excitement amongst his fellow evacuees, with at least one shocked lady having a stroke! Sadly several more missed.

The Fact Compiler is of course sworn to secrecy and would never rvel the answer...

Railway Garden Competition - Wolverhampton

This from D0260...

Today, 15th September 2010, saw the beginning of the end Wolverhampton station Railway Garden.



Not sure if they were all posing for the camera, or just surprised to the see the speed of the guy in the foregrounds single handed demolition work.

East Coast - New Ops Director named

The management changes at state owned East Coast, that Eye alluded to on Friday, have now been announced.

This press release issued today:

MANAGEMENT CHANGES AT EAST COAST

Danny Williams has been promoted to the role of Operations Director at East Coast.

Mike Hogg, who has until now been responsible for Operations, has stepped down from his position and will be leaving the company.

Karen Boswell, Managing Director of East Coast, commented:

“I want to pay tribute to Mike Hogg for his dedication to the role over many years. His operational judgment has never been in question at East Coast, and his knowledge and experience within our industry is highly respected.

“But the move comes as a result of our determination to make a significant step change in performance improvement – an area which has been challenging for our business over the last nine months. Working closely with Network Rail and other industry partners, I expect Danny Williams to tackle this challenge with renewed vigour.”

Michael Holden, Non-Executive Director of Directly Operated Railways, the parent company of East Coast, will work closely with Danny Williams during an interim period and will provide advice on the implementation of specific initiatives designed to achieve sustained improvement in operational performance at East Coast. Michael Holden has had a long and successful career in railway operational management since joining British Rail in 1978, including four years as Regional Director for the Southern Region of Railtrack, and then Network Rail. In 2003 he set up South Eastern Trains and was its Managing Director until it was re-franchised in 2006. Today, he specialises in providing strategic advice to the rail industry.

Before joining East Coast earlier this year, Danny Williams was Head of Trains Service for First Capital Connect (FCC). Here, he was instrumental in improving FCCs Thameslink train Public Performance Measure to 90% (Modified Moving Average) via a cross-functional ‘Destination 90’ initiative.

He led a driver management team that was responsible for the day to day operation of eight train-crew depots across the FCC business, and his extensive operational responsibilities also included safety line management, and the management of three control offices. Most recently he was Head of Customer Service Delivery for FCC, with 78 stations, and occupational safety also under his remit. Danny (36) has worked in the rail industry for 19 years, and in 2009 he was nominated ‘Young Professional of the Year’ at the Rail Business Awards.

Danny Williams and Michael Holden will take up their new positions with immediate effect.

ENDS

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

I note that Ms Boswell says that Mr Hogg's "operational judgment has never been in question".

Perhaps this explains why East Coast have decided they need to replace him with two people - at the taxpayers expense of course.

If double-manning is good enough for management then can it be long before Aslef demand a return to similar practices on East Coast footplates?

UPDATE: This from Mallard...

With East Coast performance languishing at the bottom of the PPM table isn't it about time that the government acted against this failing TOC?

I suggest that East Coast is immediately stripped of the franchise and that its operation is handed over to Directly Operated Railways which was set up for this very purpose.

Only in state owned hands can the franchise return to its former glory! (Is this right? Ed)

ATOC - sound theology, poor proof reading

Good to see ATOC is gearing up for the visit of the Holy Father.

This via @NationalFailEnq, via Twitter...



How clever of NRES to alight on one of the three theological virtues.

The other two being faith and charity, or for our ATOC readers: aith and harity.

Battle of the Barriers turns nasty in Sheffield

This from the Sheffield Star...

THE long-running battle over Sheffield station bridge came to a head when managers were forced to call in police to help them deal with residents who insisted on their "right" to use the station as a route into the city centre.

Staff and British Transport Police officers handed out 45 cautions in a single night as the row reached boiling point.

45 cautions - these are local residents trying to move about their city not football hooligans!

As the demand to gate the station is coming from the DfT let us hope that the rumoured 600 job cuts at the Department will include the genius behind this particular scheme.

Meanwhile Eye will watch with interest whether Deputy PM Cleggy, a local MP, can bring some sanity to bear on this matter.

Although there is little point in holding your breath.

After all, denying access by socially disadvantaged residents of Norfolk Park and Park Hill to the bright lights of Sheffield city centre is probably perfectly aligned with ConDem social policy.

Pointless signs - York station subway

Westminster Friends - Robert Halfon MP, Harlow

Robert Halfon, the MP for Harlow, has posted the following on his blog:

Preventing suicides on the Railways.

Good effort.

Poetry Korner - lines on the departure of Dr Death

This just in from Clarence Spad, Life President, Young Railway Poets Society, Platform 5 Reading Station (the interesting end)

So farewell then Dr Mitchell.
Or may I call you Mad Mike?

It is hard to know where to start the eulogies,
So much progress was made on your watch.
Like the ever morphing Intercity Excess Programme,.
Or the way you brought the rapacious ROSCOs to heel.
And while we are talking of rolling stock,
And talking about them is the nearest we get to new trains,
There is the triumph of the HLOS 1300 vehlcies.
Not to mention the Thameslink fleet procurement
(which is supposed to be all over by Christmas).

You were resolute on Network Rail.
Never deviating from the view that it was a private company.
And nothing to do with DfT,
Even when Lord Whatsisface thought he ran the railways.

You kept the TOCs under a tight rein too.
Resolutely rejecting Virgin's attempts to extend their franchise.
And stripped National Express of the East Coast route,
after they had told you they were handing back the keys...
And you showed Brian Souter what he could do with his cap & collar clauses in the SWT franchise agreement.

But now it seems that you have been uncollared and caped.

With ardent acknowledgments to EJ Thribb of Private Eye.

Railway Garden Competition - Newport

This from 87027...

During a stroll around the incomplete new Newport station this morning I decided to take in the old subway, on the basis that it won't be open to the public for much longer.

This is a shame, since it means that the public will no longer be able to enjoy the attractive collection of ferns which are growing out of the wall under the station through lines.

It's always good to see nature surviving, even directly beneath hourly heavy freight trains in places where the sun don't shine.

Crow-bar and ConDems both in la-la land

So the brothers at the TUC annual conference plan industrial action to prevent cuts in public spending.

This nonsense from Crow-bar Bob today:

"The TUC has to be the launch-pad for the fight back against the coalition Government's decision to unleash all out class warfare through their unprecedented attack on our communities, public services, welfare state and transport system. Our defence must be built on generalised strike action and community resistance in the biggest public mobilisation since the anti-poll tax movement."

Meanwhile the ConDems are busy making soothing noises about wanting to "work with the unions".

Ah such innocence!

Perhaps Petrol-head should have a word with LUL management so he can explain to his government colleagues precisely how you work with Crow-bar and his ilk when they decide to undertake politically motivated strike action.

Errr... you don't and you can't and you won't!

Vulture Spikes - Manchester Piccadilly CCTV

Vulture Spikes - York station clock

Time for an exciting new Railway Eye feature.

This from a Mr Swift...

Just look at the recently restored York vintage clock proudly sitting above the passenger footbridge in the magnificent York station.






One wonders if our Victorian Engineers envisaged the use of 8 inch long Vulture Spikes !

UPDATE: This from AlanG...

I am a bit puzzled that there is a small clock built into the large clock, showing the time 40 minutes ago.

Is that the time that the an Arriva XC train with WiFi should have arrived?

Oops sorry need a 2009 calendar for that :)

UPDATE: This from King Henry...

I wonder whether Vulture Spikes need, and have received, planning permission?

York Station is after all a Grade 2* Listed building and the slightest alteration has to be put to the City Council (which recently won an appeal to have Starbucks banished from the entrance hall).

Perhaps we should he told?

Railway Garden Competition - Wrexham General

Potter unveils early Christmas wish list

This from Driver Potter...

Dear Father Christmas

I have been a very good driver this year.

Every work night I am in bed at some point, and I have cleaned my teeth and cleaned my boots (using the same brush - I'm learning to economise as well) and my trains sometimes turn up on time.

For my Christmas present this year I would like either a Casio electric keyboard or a bloody great electric loco.

If your sack isn't big enough to hold them both, could you combine them in one handy package?



The snow would also be greatly appreciated.

East Coast celebrates record breaking turnover

Is state owned East Coast becoming the rail equivalent of the Marie Celeste?

The company has only been nationalised for ten months and in that time there have been a flurry of departures through East Coast's revolving doors.

First there was the Engineering Director, gone!

Then the Commercial Director, gone!

Then the Head of Safety, gone!

Then the Director of Communications, gone!

And latest to join the exulted list is the Customer Services Director, now gone!

An impressive turnover of senior staff in such a short time to be sure.

What's more it would appear that the Operations Director is now "not returning calls"...

Can it be long before the Captain is obliged to go down with the ship?

UPDATE: This from our international correspondent...

Is the East Coast's slimmed down management due to natural wastage, or was it the prospect of the 'Barbie-lino' that caused the rush to the lifeboats?

The Engineering Director would have had to maintain a train for which all the spares and manuals are held by Virgin West Coast.

The Commercial Director would have had to explain why the train was financially underperforming every other service on the route, because the high speed dash to Scotland is deprived of intermediate revenue and would have to compete head to head with Easyjet, which effectively caps the fare at low cost airline levels.

Head of Safety would have had to sign the Get our of Jail Card for introducing a one off into an otherwise simple cohesive fleet (no doubt with memories of how unstraightforward the hired-in NoL Eurostar sets were).

The Director of Communications would find himself justifying an East Coast Pendolino to Captain Deltic, whose derision for the whole thing shines out of his latest column like a lump of Polonium. Just dishing out the usual mix of free tickets and platitudes may not be enough.

The Customer Services Director would have had to deal with all the public correspondence (why do you make us travel in such a rattly train? What is that terrible pong coming from the loo? etc...).

And it cannot be a surprise that the Operations Director is, ahem, unavailable...since he would have to actually run the bloody thing...

UPDATE: This from Mallard...

You may be amused to know that East Coast have now banned access to Railway Eye from its IT network for being 'inappropriate'!

The railway equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and shouting "La la la la la - I can't hear you!"