Save Election Night!

With a bowler tip to Tom Harris MP...

This early day motion has been laid down...

That this House is concerned at reports that growing numbers of Returning Officers are considering postponing the counting of votes cast on the day of the General Election until the day after polling; believes that in the 21st century it would be a regressive move not to announce constituency results as early as possible; further believes that public confidence in the results could be undermined by delays in the counting of ballot papers and that fewer voters would be able to watch the results being announced if this were done on a Friday afternoon; and calls on local authorities throughout the United Kingdom to ensure that all ballot papers are counted immediately after the close of polls on General Election night, as has been the practice in previous General Elections.

Vote early, vote often!

London Midland update

This just in from 3362 Albert Brassey...

As the floors of 102 New Street start to resemble the US embassy in Saigon (circa '75) the next thing to be hurled out the window is train cleaning.

Furthermore the normally supine TSSA has threatened to withdraw the paperclips and has started balloting white collar staff over pay.

Given that they don't usually drive or guard trains and so haven't been bunged money to keep the job on the road, expect a resounding result.

More Govia bods are rumoured to be heading north to sort the sorry mess out.

Rich man robbed - Shocker

This from the BBC...

Scottish transport tycoons Brian Souter and Ann Gloag are alleged to have been stung by a prominent City financier who has apparently disappeared.

Stop sniggering at the back!

NR goegraphically challenged - Official

This just in from Bushy...

Wouldn't you think that Network Rail staff would have some geographic knowledge of their rail network.

My colleague has just received an invite from Nitwonk Fail to an event.

First few details are:

WHO: BOSTON TO SKEGNESS PROJECT TEAM
WHAT: TO SEE THE BOSTON SKEGNESS PROJECT FIRST HAND
WHERE: SIVSEY YARD, STATION ROAD, SIVSEY, LINCOLNSHIRE, PE22 0SA

I just wonder how many guests will struggle to find Sivsey.

At least Google is brighter than NR and asks "do you mean SIBSEY ".

Dreadful, innit!

Can we start a collection to buy NR's Midland & Continental press office a rail atlas?

UPDATE: This just in from an indignant Network Rail...

Ref "NR goegraphically challenged - Official"

Unless I have misplace my irony hat, I hope this is deliberate typo.

It must be a deliberate typo. Mustn't it?

Otherwise you would not have the gall to post such tediously pedantic drivel about a Network Rail press invitation that unfortunately said 'Sivsey' rather than the correct 'Sibsey'.

You may notice just how close 'V' and 'B' are on a keyboard (cont p94)...

UPDATE: This from the late Sir William Pollitt...

Network Rail's 'indignant' response about the 'Sivsey' cock-up speaks volumes about their lax attitude. They really do not 'get it' do they? (to use a phrase of the moment).

It's an invitation. To a place. That doesn't exist! Do they expect their intended guests to be psychic? The fact that 'v' is only the next key to 'b' on a QWERTY keyboard is utterly irrelevant. It explains the cock-up - it does not, as NR imply, excuse their lack of concern for detail.

On a slightly flippant note, a single character out of place can make all the difference. For example, the famous love song would have lost all its mystique if the title had been typed in NR's press office. 'People will think we're in Hove' would just not have cut it. Likewise, Frank Sinatra singing "I've got you under my sink' would likewise have hardly hit the spot, despite the misplacing of a mere single letter!!

More seriously, minor typographical errors could well be the peg on which a libel or defamation case could quite easily hang. As in the expression: 'Network Rail's press office is utterly clueless.' The omission of the three characters forming the word 'not' between 'is' and 'utterly' makes all the difference, eh?

More care, please.

Time to put Frankenstein back in its box

Good news for fans of the IEP (Sid and Doris Bonkers).

This from Leasing Life...

A shortage of liquidity has meant that financing for one of Britain's largest ever rail projects, the Intercity Express Programme (IEP), will be sourced through five or six tranches of debt-raising rather than through one or two lump sum payments as had been originally planned.

While the delivery of the first batch of trains is likely to take place one year late (in 2014 rather than 2013 as was originally planned).

Isn't this all a bit previous?

The Department hasn't actually signed a contract for any of these trains yet.

Seasonal conundrum

When does winter start?

The Fact Compiler likes the old ways and thus marks the start of Autumn from Lammas Day (1st August).

Which means that there are just over two weeks till the start of Winter.

Eye wonders if Moley knew this when he provided the following written answer in Parliament yesterday:

On 23 July, the Government announced a major new electrification programme which radically affects the requirements for train rolling stock over the next decade. In particular, there will be far less need for diesel trains and a greater requirement for electric trains. The Department will publish a new rolling stock plan in the autumn, setting out a revised strategy.

The clock's ticking.

Gordon's mini Pilgrimage of Grice

This just in from the Lobby...

The Prime Minister travelled to Lancashire today by train for a regional visit and will return to London by train, the Downing Street spokesman said.

Let's hope Network Rail and Virgin are behaving themselves.

Pendi' windows and hurled mobiles do not good bedfellows make!