Monkey joke

This from the Telegraph...

Two monkeys appointed station masters at Japanese train station

Eye was going to point out that we normally get by with one, and they usually run an entire TOC...

...but then thought better of it.

This instead:

Hammond orders Hitachi train on back of traincrew deal!

You pays your money, you takes your choice.

UPDATE: This from District Superintendent Ambala...

Despite some mild amusement at your witticisms regarding the appointment of two monkeys to the position of station masters, I feel I should point out that the translation to the bizarre world of the UK railway such as you imply simply does not hold up.

As any fule kno TOC Directors are not paid peanuts.

Trebles all round me thinks!

TransPennine refuses to lift the peg

Finally Scarborough joins the 21st Century as its semaphore gantry is replaced by state of the art LED signals.

Local operator TransPennine has decided to celebrated the route upgrade with a suitable image on their temporary timetable (with a bowler tip to The Sleeper):


Marvelous, all that NR investment and still the TOC uses 19th Century imagery.

What a compelling argument for vertical integration!

UPDATE: This from Inspector Blakey...

Top marks to TPEx for impressive attention to detail.

The glass in the unlit signal arm, lower down the post, is correctly shown as blue in colour whereas the illuminated aspect is green.

I wonder if there's a signal gricer working in their publicity department...

UPDATE: This from Pendolino Warrior...

And just what are these semaphores supposed to mean?

Mixed messages there.

Two home signals vertically aligned should be showing the same indication.

Nice graphics, more research needed.

UPDATE: This from The Major...

Perhaps Pendolino Warrior had best stick to his plastic trains on the West Coast for there is nothing wrong with two stop signals vertically aligned.

It is an example of a stacked splitting signal, that is, the top arm reads to the left road and the lower arm to the road on the right.

There is a fine example of such a signal on the gantry at Falsgrave, Scarborough.

Or at least there was until earlier this month!

CSR delays start of ORR Periodic Review

This from the ORR...

The start of the next periodic review (PR13) – the process which will establish the plan for funding Britain’s railways from 2014-2019 – is to be delayed, the Office of Rail Regulation (ORR) announced today.

ORR had planned to begin the PR13 process in November 2010. However, the regulator has confirmed that it will delay PR13 so that it can fully take account of the Department for Transport’s strategic reviews on Network Rail’s structure and on franchising, and Sir Roy McNulty’s value for money study.

The regulator now intends to begin PR13 by early summer 2011 in a revised plan that will still see the periodic review deliver final rail funding and output determinations by October 2013, as originally scheduled.

UPDATE: This from The man by the photocopier...

The ORR press release you quote is dated 11 October, but was indeed distributed today (18 October).

One has also noted a letter from a Mr B. Emery on the selfsame matter, dated 14 October!

Why the curious delay? Not, one hopes, the result of any intervention from DafT?

Such things cannot be.

But if they can, surely we should be told?

UPDATE: This from the ORR Press Office...

As a long-time Railway Eye reader, I wanted to reply to a recent post to clarify the position.

Human error crept in I am afraid regarding the dates, no DfT conspiracy.

The letter was sent to the industry on afternoon of 14 October to give everyone a chance to hear it first hand. We then alerted the media yesterday, 18 October of our decision to delay the start of the next periodic review.

The press notice should have been dated 18 October; well done to everyone who spotted the mistake!

Trainy speakibold: Merseyrail

Time for an exciting new Eye feature!

Trainy Speakibold - a deep joy and treat'n for the lugfolds (with a doff of the bowler to the late Prof Unwin).

According to a Mr Murray:

Returning from Liverpool on Merseyrail on Wednesday of last week the following announcement as made:

“There are presently no services to Chester and Ellesmere Port due to traction current isolation at Police request”

My wife asked me “what the hell was all that about?”.

So I said “They’ve had to switch the electricity off because the Police have asked them to, most likely because somebody has run on to the track”.

She said “well why didn’t they say that, then?”.

Of course railway people know the meaning of phrases such as “track circuit failure”, “traction current isolation” etc... but do any of the travelling public?

Further examply of trainy speakibold much welcome, oh yes.