This from JD Bitterspoon...
Rumour has it that DOR is branching out into a range of new sanitary
ware.
With the timetable reliability 'plumbing' new depths, customer
service generally 'down the pan', passengers increasingly left with a
'sinking' feeling, East Coast's regular customers hope that they have
better luck running this bath than they do a train service.
Hour-plus
delays the third Monday in a row, and no service at all between
Peterborough and Kings Cross this morning.
An absolute shower.
Eye observes: If DOR entered the bathroom suite market no doubt the ORR would insist the 'plumbing' was provided by Network Rail. Inevitably, therefore, the new venture would fail to 'wash its face'. (that's enough leaky old jokes. Ed)