Who should replace Coucher - one for the Ladies?

Network Rail has done much to encourage the role of ladies in the industry, despite suggestions to the contrary (see Private Eye passim).

As Iain Coucher spake but recently:

“We want the best to work for us – both men and women – and I hope that as we continue to show our modern business and the opportunities that we offer that we can attract exceptional women to apply for these roles and be part of something fantastic.”

A part of something fantastic indeed!

With Iain's words ringing in our ears Eye readers are invited to use their skill and judgement to decide which of these Wimmin of Power should be Network Rail's new CEO.

• Margaret Thatcher - approved more electrified routes miles than any other Prime Minister and delivered a new railway to Abroad!

• Imelda Marcos - expert on procurement.

• Pollyanna Walker - already has a team second guessing NR's every move.

• Jo Kaye - expert on delivering small improvement schemes (eg Workington North) that don't eat into Director's bonuses (Shurely 'cost a fortune'? Ed)

• Boadicea - skilled at reducing headcount, usually by cutting off below the knees (That's enough powerful ladies. Ed).

You can vote on the right hand side menu bar (once the blogger poll gadget decides to work)...

UPDATE: Sadly Blogger's crappy poll gadget isn't working, so just pretend you are an NR Director, pull a number out of the air and then remind yourself that you are worth it.

Pointless signs - A 2002 vision of the future

Who should replace Iain Coucher?

The race to replace Coucher has already started.

Yesterday the Independent on Sunday suggested that NR directors Robin Gisby and Simon Kirkby might be interested in Iain's enormous bonus (shurely challenging role? Ed).

With industry bigwigs already being asked their views on who should become Network Rail's new Chief Executive it seemed only right, in the spirit of openness and transparency, that Eye readers should also have an opportunity to participate in the Great Succession Debate.

Each week Eye will post a new selection of names and invite you, dear reader, to use your skill and judgement to decide who could best replace Iain Coucher

Our first category is Men of the Moment.

And the nominations are:

• Tony Hayward (BP CEO) - Well qualified in clearing up a mess
• Gen Stan McChrystal - Well qualified in managing relationships with government
• Fabio Capello - Well qualified in managing over-expectation.
• Gordon Brown - Well qualified in listening to taxpayers
  

You can vote on the right hand side menu bar....

Eye opens museum of Couchiana

Telegrammed by Bulldog Drummond
Eye is delighted to launch its new museum of Couchiana with this oddly drafted ATOC press release:

ATOC responds to Network Rail Chief Executive stepping down

In response to the news that Iain Coucher is to step down, Tom Smith, Chairman of the Association of Train Operating Companies, said:

“Iain is a major figure in the rail industry and a positive force for change.

“He has made an exceptional personal contribution to a period of sustained improvement on the railways, which has seen punctuality and passenger satisfaction reach record levels.

“We wish him the best for the future and will of course continue to work with Network Rail’s management to make the orgainsation more customer focused.”

ENDS

Punctuality and even more passenger satisfaction are only part of NR's remit, what about his day job of running the business?

And what is the last para trying to say?

Surely it is not suggesting that Coucher was not customer focussed? Perish the thought.

Meanwhile any Eye readers know what an 'orgainsation' is?

Perhaps it describes a not for profit company where you make pots of money?

UPDATE: This from eastwestdivide...

I suggest asking the reader who lives in Tophsam (2 articles up).

Muphry's rule - anyone correcting spelling will themselves make a spelling mistake.