One foot in the dor?

This from Dear, Dear, Dicky... 

Tuning into Sky's brand new series on East Coast, my ears were audibly assaulted by some dulcet thespy Scottish tones reminding me of the popularity of rail travel and how hard TOC staff work.

Why it was none other than 1990s has-been (shurely: 'favourite'? Ed), star of the 2011 Channel 4 Dispatches rail travel 'documentary' and everyone's favourite leftie - Richard Wilson!

Presumably this time the uber-luvvie was in possession of his Senior Railcard? 

Very much a case of "I don't believe it.".

Souter going out with a bang!

So, Sir Brian Souter will be a guest on BBC Question Time tomorrow night.

Expect some fireworks in light of recent House of Commons' business, as in the past Sir Brian has had some clear views on promoting what were once termed 'alternative' lifestyles.

No matter.

Thursday's telefest may be the Wee Man's last high profile public outing, ahem, before he becomes Stagecoach Group's chairman in May, relinquishing the role of chief executive to the now ubiquitous Martin Griffiths (currently finance director).

Despite Brian's interesting history with matters 'equality' don't expect too much criticism from Humza Yousaf the MSP member of the panel. In the devolved world of Scottish politics Our Brian has proven a generous benefactor to the Scottish National Party over recent years.

No doubt First's Tim O'Toole, which currently holds the ScotRail franchise, will be watching with interest?

Tyne and Wear Metro - the musical!

This from TwopTips, via Twitter...



Extraordinary!

Compare and contrast: Equinox and Dispatches

This from EE507...

I thought Eye readers might be interested in this as an antidote to Channel 4's latest Dispatches offering...

Remember the pre-Big Brother C4 that screened well-researched and soundbite-free docs, cutting-edge drama and international cinema?

Try this edition of Equinox from 1990 called Trouble on the Line (parts 2 to 4 can be found in the video responses):



Then compare it to tonight's Dispatches.

Viewers will no doubt end up wondering what has really changed in 21 years, given the doc's criticism of civil service meddling and ineptitude, and the lack of a long-term coherent strategy for developing the railway...

Luvvie Wilson faces lifetime rail ban - Shocker

Much excitement in railway press offices across the land!

Luvvie Wilson has taken to the media trail to promote tomorrow's Channel 4 Dispatches programme.

The Sunday Times even devoted a whole page to the 74 year old, and former 90's celebrity, noting that he has:

"...never made a secret of his twin tastes for champagne and socialism.

"For the past twenty years Wilson has rarely encountered the ignominy of second-class..."

Indeed!

Eye is frankly surprised he can remember what class he travels nowadays, as clearly the years have taken their toll.

Sadly on a recent rail journey to Sheffield, with amazingly enough a film crew in tow, it emerged that the old boy had forgotten both his wallet and Senior Railcard!

Having paid a mere £15.85 for a first class return!!! the absent minded voice of the Labour Party manifesto, when asked to show his correct travel documentation, accused a hapless Gripper of calling him a liar.

Ed Balls would be proud!

No matter.

The industry will be watching tomorrow's programme with interest.

On the plus side Eye has spotted grounds to ensure that Meldrew cannot take advantage of the industry again!


Meanwhile, the Railway Benefit Fund may wish to consider their links with such a partial observer?

Channel 4 Dispatches has one foot in the grave

Good news for devotees of incisive reporting!

Channel 4 Dispatches is airing a programme on Monday night boldly entitled "Train journeys from hell."

Clearly balance will be at the very heart of this particular televisual feast.

Aside from walk on parts by the World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent and Steven Norris of Jarvis fame, Channel 4 has evidently spared no expense to recruit a suitably qualified journalist and transport expert to host the prog.

So step forward then errr... uber-luvvie Richard Wilson!

Clearly oratorical declamation and hyperbole will be the order of the day.

Wilson of course was once famous in the 1990s and more recently became the voice of the Labour Party manifesto (the party, lest we forget, responsible for the structure of today's costly and over complicated railway). Sweet irony.

Somewhat bravely the DfT is rumoured to be putting Cruella into the firing line to respond to the Groucho's Greatest.

Meanwhile Eye has already put a wager on how quickly misenthrope Meldrew can utter his trademark line "I don't believe it!".

For what it's worth Richard, nor do we.

UPDATE: This from The Major...

Before anyone dismisses Richard Wilson as a luvvy who knows nothing about railways it's worth noting that he's a vice president of the Railway Benefit Fund.

UPDATE: This from Andrew E...

Do you really think Labour are responsible for the structure of today's railway?

Surely the [justified] complaint is that they did nothing to repair the disaster they inherited from the Tories!

Annoying man being rude at King's Cross

Eye is alerted to a televisual feast by the Internet Rapid Rebuttal Unit...

It's not just King's Cross that is getting a makeover!

Gok's Clothes Roadshow will see three ladies from the Kings Cross Redevelopment Programme, Lisa (39), Karen (45) and Jenny (40) get a makeover (whatever that may be? Ed)


Brix Smith-Start hopes to prove designer fashion is best by drafting in a show-stopping Best of British floor-length gown by top designer Matthew Williamson (who writes this guff? Ed).

For those who care (Sid and Doris Bonkers) there will be the opportunity to see an annoying man being rude to his betters on the Devil's Lantern this very evening (20:00 on Channel 4).

Meanwhile, The Fact Compiler can't help but feel that NR could have added to the general gaiety of the nation by plugging Gok directly into the OHLE...

UPDATE: This from the Safety Elf...

I presume that the shining radiance of his presence and his hard headed persona render it unnecessary to don a bright orange coat with reflective stripes and a PPE lid?

Great British Railway Journeys to go on forever!

This from NR's Internet Rapid Rebuttal Unit...

Fans of GBRJ will be glad to hear that the production team are reasonably confident that a third series will be commissioned by the BBC.

Ratings are good and Mr Portillo himself told me at last night, at the wrap party, that he reckons that Bradshaw can provide him with enough material for at least another two series...

Portillo better hurry up then, before Petrol-head draws the inevitable conclusion from page 26 of McNulty's Interim Review.

State challenges Open Access on TV - Shocker

According to the latest issue of Modern Railways the Department for Transport has it in for Open Access Operators.

Lets hope the Mandarins weren't watching the Weakest Link tonight then.

In the final minutes there was a head to head between Dan, who books training courses for NHS employees, and Anne, who works for "a railway company in York".

Eye understands that Anne is being far too modest - she is in fact the Finance Manager for Grand Central.

So what was the result of this latest, televised, battle between the public and private sectors?


Anne - you are the strongest link!

First for ruining the pleasure of rail travel

This from the BBC...

The first on-board TV service for train travellers in the UK has begun.

The service, which passengers have to pay for, has been introduced on some high-speed trains operated by the First Great Western (FGW) rail company

Presumably to ensure picture quality FGW will now dispense with cleaning train windows?

UPDATE: This from @cbuchanancubed, via Twitter...

On train entertainment - First Great Western fail to spot market moved on years ago eg laptops playing DVDs

UPDATE: This from a Mr Saltaire...

As reported on The Eye (and the BBC), I sampled the Volo equipment on a First HST today..... it’s rubbish!

The content is all repeats of old TV shows, and the equipment is in one coach (D) of Standard Class only.

Alas, our elected representatives (but not our brave boys) look set to be spared this indignity.

UPDATE: This from @tonyveitchUK, via Twitter..

GWR always different, eh?

GNER, GC, Amtrak, DB, Virgin, etc must have been barking up wrong tree.

Eye prompts questions in the House

It's amazing what you can find on Hansard.

Regular readers may recollect that Eye discovered two videos on YouTube, which were produced by DafT to show press officers how to use a Flip Camera (surely not the most challenging of tasks!).


This from Railway Peer Lord Berkeley on the 29th March...

Lord Berkeley: To ask Her Majesty's Government what was the cost to public funds of the instructional videos that the Department for Transport commissioned on how Flip video camcorders should be used when filming Ministers; whether they will place those videos on the Department for Transport's website; and what other such videos have been commissioned in the past five years.

The Secretary of State for Transport (Lord Adonis): The cost to public funds for the production of the camcorder training video was £767.71.

As it is for internal use, the video will not be placed on the Department for Transport's website. No other camcorder training videos have been commissioned in the past five years.

Lord Berkeley: To ask Her Majesty's Government what measures are in place in the Department for Transport to monitor the effectiveness of staff in their use of Flip video camcorders. [HL3035]

Lord Adonis: As a trial, a total of four small camcorders were acquired in 2009 and issued to selected communications directorate staff for the purposes of producing short films suitable for publicising departmental announcements and events on social media such as YouTube.

Material produced using these small camcorders is edited by the department's social media team and checked for quality and suitability by Communications Directorate senior management.

That's another £767.71 for Captain Deltic's spreadsheet of Departmental savings.

Ministers force officials to flip - Shocker!

It's amazing what you can find on You Tube.

The following two videos have been produced to help DafT press officers show their ministers in the best possible light when using a Flip Camera.

Eye is uncertain whether to be outraged at public money being spent on this agitprop training or grateful for the helpful pointers it includes.





Meanwhile Eye commends both videos to Eurostar's PR team - as nowhere do they advise filming in a broom cupboard. Ever!

UPDATE: This from StephenRees, via Twitter...

It looks like DafT have ruined our fun, they've removed both of those YouTube videos now...

Nice! Surely not through embarrassment?

UPDATE: Whilst the videos have now been removed here is a screen grab of the originals...


Mrs Interweb has a long memory!

UPDATE: This from RADA Luvvie...

This is priceless!

Trevor John - who did that flip camera training video - presents a psychic radio show as well as apparently being a ministerial speechwriter.

How the media works - Broadcast news

With a bowler tip to Obnoxio...

Railway Garden Competition - Watford Junction

This from the BBC, with a bowler tip to Sir William Pollitt...


Good to see the railway showing its best face to the nation.

Bob Crow - star of stage, film and picket line

Is the RMT's Bob Crow planning a career change?

This extra-ordinary description of the great man on the Rail Network site:

RMT General Secretary, TV's Bob Crow said: “Despite all the talk about tougher contracts..." (cont' p94).

"TV's Bob Crow"!

Someone better be having a laugh.

Otherwise that's one more reason not to pay the licence fee.

Don't be taken in by Portillo - Shocker

This from Annoni Mouse...

Suddenly the entire railway seems to have fallen in love with Michael Portillo following his recent TV series on railway journeys.

Why even Nigel Harris raved about his performance!!!

But don't be taken in!

Given a choice between a free Indy and a free Torygraph on the train to York today which do you think he took?


And devoured it from cover to cover.

A leopard doesn't change its spots!

UPDATE: This from Leo Pink...

Actually, Portillo was quite a good Transport Minister in the Hippocratic sense.

He did no harm and was a good egg.

UPDATE: This from Tory Girl...

And which party, when in Government, approved the Channel Tunnel - a rail only link with the continent?

UPDATE: This from our slightly furious International Correspondent...

I am confused after watching the very Thatcherite former Hon Member for Enfield East, (latterly the Minister of State for Transport) recalling his version of "saving" the Settle & Carlisle line during his BBC2 Great Railway Hagiography.

He said saving the line was one of the greatest achievements of his political career.

It is all a long time ago but I thought that at the time he, and his predecessor David Mitchell, were both "minded" to consent to closure.

This in full accord with their official's aspirations.

And so it would have been but for a real railwayman.

London Midland Region's Ron Cotton (deep doff of the bowler, Ed) "accidentally" kept cocking up the closure procedure, thus allowing the Chair of the TUCC to listen to Ruswarp (the late and much lamented Border Collie objector).

Happily this was all resolved when, on the 11th April 1989, Portaloo published a letter that refused consent on the first page.

However, so badly spatchcocked was his missive - evidently at the 11th hour, that it made no sense at all (actually consenting to closure on subsequent pages).

There is a statue of Ruswarp on Garsdale station platform, commissioned by the Friends of the Settle and Carlisle Line.


But of Michael Denzil Xavier Portillo - not even a cheap plaque marks his passing.

Good.

Bob Crow on HIGNFY tonight - sneak preview

This from the Ian Visits blog...

Bob Crow though was a surprising disappointment.

Indeed!

Ian's full review of the recording can be found here.

Bluebell request for help - update

This just in from Poser 500...

Eye readers may be interested to know that the Bluebell Railway WON the phone vote in the People's Millions Bid.

This means that it will receive funding to restore derelict 4-wheel LC&DR brake second carriage No.51 for use by mobility impaired passengers.

The refurbished vehicle should enter service by Christmas next year.

Many thanks to all those who voted and to Eye for its support.

Bluebell asks for Eye's help!

Eye understands that there is some form of competition on the Devil's Lantern tonight.

Apparently it has the potential to help the Bluebell Railway convert a coach so that the mobility impaired can enjoy the railway.

This from Poser 500...

Any chance of a plug on your blog?

Later this evening, the ITV Meridian East region (essentially Kent & Sussex) local television news programme at 6pm will include a film detailing the Bluebell's prospective project.

Four other projects have already gone two-by-two on Monday and Tuesday. The runner up over the three days with the most votes will also receive a grant.

And this from the Bluebell Railway's website...

The People's Millions - Bluebell Railway project - Please vote for us today

Our project to restore London Chatham & Dover Railway carriage No.51 as our wheel-chair accessible Victorian carriage project needs your support today.

Please ring: 0871 626 88 51 between 9am and Midnight today, Wednesday 25th November

Calls cost 10p each from land-lines; calls via other operators may cost more. Only UK originated calls are counted.

See The People's Millions web site for more details.

Vote early...

Severn Valley to avoid doomsday?

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Do BBC news editors ever travel by train?

Thursday's News at Ten reported on the global warming threat to "national infrastructure"... with a shot of SVR track washed away in floods two years ago!

Mind you, if it secures additional government dosh then it's time to head to Kidderminster.