Primrose Hole

It's good to see some old railway traditions continue to survive in the Age of Change.

Like surreptitiously demolishing stations to prevent their future use.

Nicely done NR!

So what?

Good news for Buffhoon and Co.

According to today's Standard the toothless Transport Select Committee is thinking about holding an inquiry into recent fares increases.

What a wonderful opportunity for the Government to show its continued contempt for Parliament.

Nuspeak

Telegrammed by Eboracum (50A)

Railway Eye's free cut-out-n-keep industry definitions for use in 2009:

Barrier - Device for ensuring you definitely miss the train

Bonus - Large sum of money given to director regardless of competence

Bus - Inevitable alternative transport – see Network Rail engineering schedule for details

Christmas - Biblical holiday when the railway sleeps

Dinner - Sandwich and bag of crisps if you are lucky

Director - Fat bloke in suit with lots of money

Driver - Grumpy bloke who sits in the front of the train and ignores passengers

Fare - Thing that increases faster than rabbits on Viagra – See ‘Bonus’ and ‘Director’

Franchise - Something that disappears faster than Ali Bongo’s rabbit

GNER - (Eastern England trad.) Mythical halcyon concept from past history

Guard - Same as 'Driver' but sits at the back

Seating - Technique for balancing a laptop in you left hand and typing with your right whilst standing in gangway end spilling your coffee

Service - Surly and patronising treatment grudgingly thrust in the direction of passenger by staff member wondering if they will still have a job this time next week

Passenger - Person sitting in car in traffic jam

Timetable - Document detailing the time before which the train will not depart

More please...

UPDATE: Two from The Major...

Possession - (NR internal) Nine tenths of the law

Seat - (Obsolete) Place of comfort at which passengers received service

More please...