The future of rail... is bleak!

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
Flyers have just been circulated for the 2010 Future of Rail conference in mid November.

Closing the morning session will be a presentation by Elaine Holt on turning around the East Coast Main Line.

Among the questions she will be answering will be:

1) What action has been taken to turn the line around?
2) What is still to come?
3) What can other TOCs take on board from the East Coast experience?
4) What wider implications do the East coast events have for franchising in the UK?

For those who can't wait for the answers, or think the conference a little pricey, Railway Eye can save you £992.28 (including VAT)

The answers are:

1) Sack anyone with any experience (the Pol Pot strategy)
2) More sackings
3) Treat it as an awful warning
4) Treat is as an awful warning

Of course those really keen to know the future of rail post CSR could always attend the Derby and Derbyshire Rail Forum annual conference, headlined by Sir Roy McNulty on the 4th November, for the princely sum of £100!

Speculate to accumulate

Good news from Landor!

An invitation to an event called 'Getting Best Value from Transport Projects' thuds into the inbox.

As the blurb sagely points out:

The economic downturn will result in a reduction in the total amount of money available for the delivery of public sector services. This will impact on the structure and delivery of transport service.

Indeed.

And what better way to get best value for the cash strapped taxpayer than by spending £295 to attend a conference...

Money for old rope...

This from an irate reader!

I received the following invitation to an event called "Railway Improvement: Rail services for the modern commuter".

"Rail travel has never been under the public spotlight as it is today," the blurb says.

But that's just not true.

It was more under the public spotlight after Hatfield, or when Railtrack collapsed.

It's much less under the spotlight now than then.

This is just nonsense verbiage, written without the slightest reference to the facts.

I also note Wolmar is a speaker, no doubt explaining how train lavatories should ditch paper and use his patent water-squirting device...

The Fact Compiler may attend just to hear this!