The charmed life of Graham Dalton...

Eye salutes the Chief Executive of the Highways Agency!

The M4 has been closed for five days.

When did Maria Eagle describe this is a damning indictment of Government transport policy?

Where are the bilious MPs, insisting that Graham Dalton be hauled before the Transport Select Committee?

Why aren't splenetic editorials demanding his head on a plate?

Readers may wish to compare and contrast this muted response with how the partial closure of a major arterial rail route would be handled by the chattering classes?

That is all.

Mediaballs - Taking the pi$$ but not on Southern

Much nonsense being spoken by the Chatterati about the absence of loos on trains due to operate between Portsmouth and Brighton.

This tosh from the BBC...

Southern Railway to axe toilets from new train fleet

A train company has been branded a "disgrace" by union chiefs after it emerged some of its new fleet will have no toilets on board.

Southern Railway opted to forgo the facilities on its latest trains running on the Portsmouth to Brighton service.

The Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers' union (RMT) said on a journey of that length it was "unacceptable".

Where to begin?

First, despite over excited twitterings to the contrary, Southern are not withdrawing loos from all its trains.

Secondly, the 'new trains' that will serve the Portsmouth - Brighton route are no such thing. They are Class 313s which are over thirty years old. They never had loos and never will.

Operating trains without loos on a journey of over an hour is also not new - there appear to be little objections to passengers travelling from Waterloo to Weybridge via Hounslow on Class 455s.

And lets not even start talking about South Eastern's 'metro' (Class 376) fleet.

Or for that matter LUL sub-surface and tube stock where end to end journeys on many lines can comfortably exceed an hour.

The reasons that passengers on these routes tend not to complain about the lack of on-board facilities is that their journeys are generally short.

Perhaps surprisingly Bob Crow claimed that the 'new' trains risked turning carriages into "stinking cattle trucks" creating appalling conditions for passengers and staff.

With Voyagers and Pendolini in mind one would have thought that not installing modern toilet units would actually prevent the usual stink to be found in vestibule areas, unless of course the flexible spaces replacing the loos really are very flexible indeed?

Eye wonders whether all this RMT special pleading points to a pre-Christmas pub crawl between Brighton and Portsmouth? You have been warned.

UPDATE: This from the Old Member...

The Fact Compiler might wish to consult with Annie Mole on the corrosion issue which LUL used to discreetly refer to as the 'J door problem' whereby the J Door - providing access from the main saloon into the driver's cab, suffered severe electrolytic corrosion along the bottom edge due to the dampness experienced inside the driving compartment. This was especially a problem on 1938 stock where there were often intermediate cabs in the train formation.

This problem may well have occurred to a lesser degree on the old Blue Trains (now due a golden jubilee celebration - introduced 1960). I have heard of backpackers in desperation having come in from a ferry at Gourock or Wemyss Bay using the gangway connection between carriages with doors closed and guarded to form an improvised 'stall'.

Perhaps this information may lead to Southern removing the inter-carriage doors , as a measure to prevent corrosion.

UPDATE: This from Captain James Bigglesworth...

Vickers Viscounts ran into corrosion problems around the tail spar.

This was due to people with poor aim causing critical levels of corrosive liquid to build up in this vital area. The toilets were at the rear of the cabin.

Far better to relieve oneself into an old beer bottle and lob it out of the window when over the Hun lines.

UPDATE: This from Tony Miles...

One fleet of trains currently being overhauled is requiring extensive work to the drivers' cab doors - with the lower part of the inside having to be replaced because of... damage by urine.

Strangely these trains are fitted with toilets for the passengers but clearly the drivers and or conductors (many of which must be RMT members) have been unable to control themselves regardless of the facilities fitted to the trainsets.

Mr Crow may like to put his own house in order before going public with his error-strewn rants.

UPDATE: This from Aslef, penned in Keith Norman's name...

Southern has decided to remove toilets from its new fleet running along the hour-and-a-half Portsmouth to Brighton line

No they haven't!

There were no toilets to remove and its not a new fleet.

Come on Keith, get a grip!

SWT - stuff the passenger, bank the lolly

Good to see that SWT is maintaining its unrivaled reputation for dry shafting the passenger.

This nonsense via Yahoo:

A couple have had to pay a £114 fine after getting off a train two stops early.

Emma Clark and Davyd Winter-Bates were travelling to Southampton from London with South West Trains when they decided to get off two stops early at Eastleigh.

When they handed over their tickets at the station, they were told they were each being fined £57 because they had not stayed on the train until their destination.

The fine was twice the standard fare of £28.50.

Eye suggests that SWT should consider diversifying into the catering trade.

Using the same perverse 'revenue protection' logic they could then fine diners for failing to finish their meals.

Get a grip.

UPDATE: This from SharpSharp...

I run a coffee shop.

If I did a half price offer on americano's it would make them cheaper than espresso's. But if someone asked for an americano without the water I'd tell them they could have their usual espresso and that they should stop trying to pull a fast one.

When you buy advanced purchase tickets you don't have the option to change your plans and it is made very clear that they are valid only for the journey on the tickets.

If Emma and David were traveling to Eastleigh they should have purchased a ticket to Eastleigh.

UPDATE: This from Billy Connections...

I'm not sure why you have posted the anti-SWT rant - the couple were in breach of the terms and conditions of a special offer ticket they were sold - good on the SWT gripper for fining them.

Too many people here never consult terms and conditions of any

purchase and then assume that if they've made a mistake that they are still in the right.

Caveat Emptor!

UPDATE: This from Captain Auto...

Further to the furore:

Am I to assume that common sense on the part of ticketing staff is no longer to be encouraged?

Those who have replied are indeed entirely correct in their application of the standing rules and regulations.

I would suggest however that such heavy handed treatment of passengers (fare paying passengers, not ticketless scrotes intend on avoiding paying at all costs) is likely to damage both the reputation of SWT and ensure that the couple involved are unlikely to travel by train again.

I'm with TFC - a wonderful own-goal by the winners of Passenger Operator of the Year 2005*.

* What a difference a franchise change makes; they said they'd pay £1.2 billion in 2007. I suppose that £114 fine is at least going to cheer up the Treasury in some small way.

UPDATE: This from D0260...

I notice that SWT charged a couple £114 for getting off the train two stops early.

The question I would like to ask is:

Just how much would SWT have charged if the couple had failed to make the journey at all?

EDM calls on NR Members to block bonuses

Halifax MP, Linda Riordan, has sponsored the following Early Day Motion:

"That this House views with deep concern the decision of Network Rail Board to pay senior management a total of £2.4m in bonuses for 2009/10; notes that Network Rail is heavily reliant on taxpayer funding; further notes that the decision was reported in a week when everyone was asked by the Government to share the burden of reducing Britain's deficit; considers such payments as being unjustified and inappropriate and calls on the public members of Network Rail to vote against such bonus payments at the impending Network Rail AGM."

Sadly if Coucher and co wouldn't listen to the ORR or the Secretary of State for Transport then Eye doesn't hold out much hope for this succeeding.

After all NR's Public Members are famed for their ability to hold the 'private' company to account.

On the plus side - at least it affords a further opportunity for MP's to show their utter contempt for NR's money-grubbing directors

Network Rail directors show restraint

Eye salutes the restraint shown by Network Rail's directors.

Paid a mere pittance these noble figures bestride our industry like veritable colossi.

So it is only right that their paltry salaries should be boosted to enable them to put bread on the table for their starving families.

With total annual bonuses for the six top directors amounting to a piffling £1.34 million, it is surely only right that they should also receive management incentive bonuses adding up to £906,000, making a total of more than £2.4 million.

After all - just how many Iainlands can you buy for such a derisory amount?

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

It's Network Rail's remuneration committee that you should be having a go at!

They set these outrageous amounts.

And of course the NR Board could always turn the bonuses down. But don't hold your breath.

UPDATE: This from Philip Hammond via the BBC...

"Network Rail is of course a private company," said Mr Hammond. "But one that is dependant on taxpayer funding."

"In the week when everyone has been asked to share the burden of reducing Britain's deficit, people will rightly be asking how Network Rail's top executives feel this is appropriate."

UPDATE: This from Sir Humphrey Beeching...

No need to hold your breath.

My departmental colleagues tell me that NR Directors intend taking their full bonus entitlement.

UPDATE: This from a Time Lord...

The BBC story on NR's bonuses uses an unusual picture of the company's Chief Executive.

Do you think they had this lookalike in mind?


One is a feared genius whose creatures are made in their master's image, they seek to rule the universe and those who do not obey are immediately exterminated. The other of course invented the Daleks.

Do you think they are related? (No! Ed)

Coucher worth every penny!

This guff from Saturday's Times...

The boss of Britain’s railways, who is paid more than four times as much as the Prime Minister, has said that he would refuse to take a pay cut and that he is worth every penny of his £613,000 salary.

Evidently we are all in this together!

Apart, of course, from some of us.

UPDATE: This from Jumbo...

No doubt people who work in a company that perpetuates the myth that trains up to 10 minutes late are actually on time find it equally easy to have illusions about their salary level.

Waterloo International sees early return to use

Splendid news about the disused Waterloo International station which is currently costing taxpayers £2m a year.

Apparently it is to return to use within a matter of months!

This from luvvie rag The Stage...

A new stage adaptation of E. Nesbit’s novel The Railway Children is to be performed in the former Eurostar terminal at Waterloo Station.

Timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of the film version of the book, the production will run from July 4, with press night on July 12, and is booking until September 4, 2010.

Eye is surprised that a children's play was selected.

Surely a good old fashioned British farce would have been more apposite.

Adonis moves and then paints the deckchairs

This from Railnews...

THE rebranding of East Coast last November cost £634,842, of which taxpayers had to find £339,190, according to official figures.

What a fabulous use of public funds!

Eye salutes The Thin Controller, DafT and Directly Operated Railways for enriching the vinyl makers.

First for shifting the blame!

Good to see that FuCC takes responsibility for its recent piss-poor Thameslink performance.

These weasel words sent to Nadine Dorries MP:

Dear Nadine

I am pleased to confirm that the result of the ASLEF ballot was that around 70% of our drivers voted in favour of accepting the pay offer.

We intend to operate the full timetable on the Thameslink route from Monday 18 January. There are likely to be some short formations (four carriage trains instead of eight) and a few cancellations until 3 February, by when we plan that any Class 319 trains with faulty traction motors resulting from the recent severe weather will be repaired and back in service.

It is worth adding that, were it not for the late delivery from Bombardier of our 23 new Class 377 Electrostars, of which we still have only 21, 80% of the remedial modifications to the traction motors required following last February's snowfall would by now have been completed. As it was we had far less opportunity to take these trains out of service as they were needed to deliver the timetable effective from March 2009 which required us to provide trains to SouthEastern Trains destinations.

Kind regards’

Not a hint of an apology. Nice.

At the forefront of Railway Research

Telegrammed by Ithuriel
Good to see RSSB making good use of its £15 million Research Budget and finding topics British Rail Research overlooked.

• T703 Facilitating shared expectations between passengers and front-line staff

That's got to be first for the chop in DafT's value for money review.

UPDATE: This, surprisingly, from the late Enid Blyton...

I was disappointed to to see that RSSB ignored my my extensive oeuvre in this latest research project.

I would have thought that naughty goblins not being able to read the safety notices and thus coming to a sticky end would have been a point worth making in these days of falling child literacy.

UPDATE: This just in from Herr Ernst Mach...

Liebe Fact Compiler just to show that we Austrians have a sense of humour can I say that I was blown over by this latest report from RSSB.

Guidance on protecting people from the aerodynamic effects of passing trains

Very funny, ja?

UPDATE: This from our International Correspondent...

I fear Herr Mach has not entirely understood the issues about aerodynamics of passing trains. Austria does not yet sport a station sign quite as promising as this one at Penrith.


In Britain the passenger comes first!

Arriva Cross County fares are just grand - Official

Wouldn't it be madness if Arriva Cross Country decided to add a bit more to the £1,002 fare story?

Of course it would!

Therefore, these rumoured January increases to XC fares must be wrong:

First class open return from Newquay to Kyle of Lochalsh = £1,068 (up from £1002)

First class open return from Newquay to Wick = £1058.50 (up from £993)

Oh, and for good measure, Newquay to Dingwall goes up to £1,006!

Probably best not to tell Barry Doe!

Nobody elected Eurocrat

Lady Who-wot appointed to post of High Representative


She rose without trace.

First class travel for third class education?

Lord Adonis must be rejoicing that he is no longer in the Department for Education and Skills.

The LibDems are claiming that civil servants in the education sector have spent £10 million on first class rail fares over the last three years.

According to the website of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, shameless Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families Diana Johnson MP claimed that education officials needed to travel first class to ensure they have enough peace and quiet to work during their journey.

Indeed.

Eye is uncertain if the peace and quiet is achieved by travelling first class or by not having to teach in the four schools that the £10m would have built.

Hello hello hello

Splendid policing from the BTP.

This from the Grauniad...

"He walked over and said: 'Do you know that young man?' I said no. He said: 'Fuck off, then. It's got nothing to do with you,'" Hinds said.

After insisting calmly that he was within his legal rights to remain, Hinds was first threatened with arrest and then marched across the station in handcuffs by two BTP policemen.

But why, when this alleged 'offence' took place in 2004, has it taken five years for Mr Hinds to receive justice?

Good effort though, errr... 'mislaying' the CCTV footage and all.

First for tact

No doubt regular Eye readers will have fond memories of Sir Moir's lovely book.

No matter.

Today is a great occasion!

And one that First's PR and Puffery machine marked with this wonderfully 'icky making nonsense:

Chief Executive of FirstGroup, Sir Moir Lockhead, paid tribute to his wife... as he visited a national photography exhibition that features a portrait of (errr....) himself!


Meanwhile the rest of the industry quietly observed a more solemn anniversary...

First for hitting the passenger where it hurts

The Fact Compiler has been stirred from his deckchair by the following extra-ordinary news.

According to Passenger Focus:

First Great Western (FGW) is set to introduce new restrictions on its cheapest Off-Peak tickets which will mean many passengers travelling into London in the morning and out of London in the afternoon will see their fares rise by 20%.

What can this mean?

Some say First Great Western has joined the ranks of franchise demics like NXEC, London Midland and Arriva Cross Country.

The Fact Compiler, almost replete from his well earned break, has a more charitable view:

Perhaps Mark Hopwood is leveraging these swinging increases as personal favour to First's Chief Executive - Sir Moir of the Lovely Book (pictured below)


No doubt the storage costs for the mountain of remaindered copies has started to make First Group shareholders twitchy...

2009 Railway Garden Competition #XV - NR shows contempt for Chester

This really is a case of pearls before swine.

But if Network Rail is prepared to keep taking it, then the Eye will keep dishing it out.

Yes it's Chester (again!!!)...

This courtesy of Gareth Marston, Chairman of SARPA and taken at Chester today.

Gareth writes:

Here are some bona fida current railway weeds at that well known garden at Chester today.

Some must be six footers!


The Eye assumes that Network Rail board members are now too busy counting the bonus lolly to worry about the increasingly piss poor state of the nation's infrastructure.

Perhaps the ORR or Passenger Focus could have a word - if they're not similarly engaged?

UPDATE: This just in from Anthony Smith over at Passenger Focus...

Thanks for alerting me to the garden that is parts of Chester station.

While it is worth noting that in the last couple of years there has been plenty happening at Chester and Passenger Focus has been involved but, as with many heritage stations, dealing with some of the detail seems beyond the industry.

It is the largest National Stations Improvement Programme (NSIP) project in the Arriva Train Wales franchise area at present which has led to the complete redevelopment of the front of the station, concourse, etc... Passenger Focus have been involved in project development including leading on an accessibility audit of the station.

ATW is actively monitoring National Passenger Survey scores for the station, which have gone up more than 20% in the past year for some categories.

We also raised this very issue at Virgin's passenger panel a few days ago.

Virgin say that to clear the weeds, NR need full possession of the track and weeds aren't a priority (Crewe station has trees growing halfway up the wall at the side of the track!).

The panel asked Virgin to look into the problem at both stations. As Chester is an ATW station, that has just been refurbished, they should be pursuing NR with vigour.

We’ll pursue this one and report back – maybe weeds are the new graffiti?

It all makes the passenger think no-one is caring for the railway's fabric.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Saltraire...

A cynic might suggest that a way of doing “station improvement” on the cheap, is to let the weeds grow waist high… and then cut them down.

There, station improved… what more do you want!

UPDATE: This from Shiny Shoes...

Part of the horticultural delights of Chester station are in fact the unintended consequence of an idea put into effect by a rather imaginative (and for the time) forward thinking Area Manager, one Mr Eric Roberts.

Mr. Roberts' tenure at Chester in the early to mid 80's was quite different to what had gone before - he made great efforts to improve the image of the station (with I suspect very limited resources) as he was aware that the place had always 'enjoyed' the reputation as a tip with the good people of Chester and as long as I can remember was (and is) referred to as 'the hole' by railway folk.

Part of the improvements were the grand landscaping of redundant land, which included ornamental conifers and a neatly manicured lawn alongside the through lines - all visible for the delight of passengers from platform 3.

All happily attended to on a Sunday by the local p/way complete with mowers and pruners! Ah, those were the days!

Inevitably and perhaps predictably Mr Roberts' fine intentions have turned to rat-shit on a post privatisation railway.

The once manicured delights are now a wild jungle.

Unfortunately those on platform 3 can still see it, in all its neglected glory.

I often wonder what Eric Roberts would have to say about it.

NR flounders defending the indefensible

This from The Times...

Network Rail has mounted a campaign to defend its controversial bonus scheme, under which the directors are due to collect more than £1 million funded largely by the taxpayer.

What bit of this don't Cornell and the NR Board get?

There is a recession on, jobs are being lost across the industry/country and NR directors still believe that they have a God given right to dip into our pockets to top up their existing, substantial, salaries with over £1m in bonuses.

Meanwhile the £9bn flagship project by which their success is being judged has turned into a complete and utter shambles.

It's no good whinging it's unfair. This is what you signed up for when you took the job.

Perhaps it would help if The Fact Compiler explained what the industry and country really think in words of one syllable.

"You are not worth it!"

For pity's sake back off now, take the hit and retain some vestige of honour and credibility.

Your call is important to us

Telegrammed by our International Correspondent
Much money has gone into the Trainline "sheep" TV advert.

Virgin Telesales has a long automatic booking process that ends with a real live Trainline call centre operative supposedly completing the transaction.

A heavily-accented voice in a far away country at 17.20 GMT today:

"I am very sorry, we have a software problem and are unable to book tickets. Please try later".

Quality!

How the railway works #2

This fiscal gem from the BBC...

Lord Adonis told the conference that £500m had been spent solely on compensating train companies that used the West Coast Main Line during its upgrade.

If only we could all have jobs where we were paid to do nothing.

UPDATE: This from a sharp eyed reader...

Have you not missed something in your link to the Adonis on new versus upgrade?

It says the new line was 'announced in January'.

Was it?

A company to look into the possibility yes, but surely no new line has been announced at all.

Classic spin!