Who should replace Coucher - one for the Ladies?

Network Rail has done much to encourage the role of ladies in the industry, despite suggestions to the contrary (see Private Eye passim).

As Iain Coucher spake but recently:

“We want the best to work for us – both men and women – and I hope that as we continue to show our modern business and the opportunities that we offer that we can attract exceptional women to apply for these roles and be part of something fantastic.”

A part of something fantastic indeed!

With Iain's words ringing in our ears Eye readers are invited to use their skill and judgement to decide which of these Wimmin of Power should be Network Rail's new CEO.

• Margaret Thatcher - approved more electrified routes miles than any other Prime Minister and delivered a new railway to Abroad!

• Imelda Marcos - expert on procurement.

• Pollyanna Walker - already has a team second guessing NR's every move.

• Jo Kaye - expert on delivering small improvement schemes (eg Workington North) that don't eat into Director's bonuses (Shurely 'cost a fortune'? Ed)

• Boadicea - skilled at reducing headcount, usually by cutting off below the knees (That's enough powerful ladies. Ed).

You can vote on the right hand side menu bar (once the blogger poll gadget decides to work)...

UPDATE: Sadly Blogger's crappy poll gadget isn't working, so just pretend you are an NR Director, pull a number out of the air and then remind yourself that you are worth it.

First Network Rail?

The Independent on Sunday will have caused many a ruined breakfast with its list of industry figures keen to take on Iain Coucher's job.

According to the Sindie the great Dr Mike 'Death' Mitchell "is understood to have privately expressed an interest in the role."

No doubt this joyful news will have been welcomed by the nation's interior designers, whose skills will now be in great demand to remove embedded cornflakes sprayed into soft furnishings.

Once recovered from the Heimlich Maneuver industry bigwigs will also have been comforted to read that two further First alumni - Nicola 'Not So' Shaw and Andrew 'I Closed the Skies' Haines - are also rumoured to be in the frame.

Perhaps there is a chapter on career progression in Sir Moir's Lovely Book?


Fortunately, before any further damage was done to the nation's stock of rail executives, the Sindie piece made clear that NR has hired headhunters, Egon Zehnder, with a brief to seek candidates with experience running international companies.

The resulting sighs of relief issuing from across industry breakfast tables are apparently audible in deep space.

MacShoveller tosses caber in ring for NR CEO job

Evidently Eye's exciting new poll on who should succeed Iain Coucher is encouraging those in the industry to up their game.

This from the Northants Evening Telegraph...

The 42nd Chieftain of Corby's Highland Gathering has been unveiled as rail boss Tim Shoveller.

Mr Shoveller will preside over activities at the gathering on Sunday, July 11.

A clever ploy by EMT's boss to boost his credentials in the race to replace Coucher

By Eye's reckoning Chieftain Shoveller has just outranked the Laird of Iainland.

Who should replace Iain Coucher?

The race to replace Coucher has already started.

Yesterday the Independent on Sunday suggested that NR directors Robin Gisby and Simon Kirkby might be interested in Iain's enormous bonus (shurely challenging role? Ed).

With industry bigwigs already being asked their views on who should become Network Rail's new Chief Executive it seemed only right, in the spirit of openness and transparency, that Eye readers should also have an opportunity to participate in the Great Succession Debate.

Each week Eye will post a new selection of names and invite you, dear reader, to use your skill and judgement to decide who could best replace Iain Coucher

Our first category is Men of the Moment.

And the nominations are:

• Tony Hayward (BP CEO) - Well qualified in clearing up a mess
• Gen Stan McChrystal - Well qualified in managing relationships with government
• Fabio Capello - Well qualified in managing over-expectation.
• Gordon Brown - Well qualified in listening to taxpayers
  

You can vote on the right hand side menu bar....