WCML - frying pan to fire

Exciting news from DB owned Alliance Rail.

The putative Open Access Operator is proposing a range of interesting new services on the West Coast Main Line, once Moderation of Competition restrictions designed to protect Virgin end in 2012.

But what's this?

Eye thought Open Access was all about bringing competition and customer choice to the railways.

But a quick glance at Yoghurt Rail's Track Access Application reveals the following:


Perhaps no surprise that Alliance Rail's state owned parent is happy to see the dead hand of a monopoly restored to the route.

Railway Garden Competition - Disqualified

This is all wrong!

Clearly Orpington is not imbued with the spirit of the age.

Where is the wilful neglect and can't be arsed attitude?

What a shocking departure from established Railway Garden practice!


Presumably the staff responsible for this outrageous display don't even qualify for gargantuan bonuses?

What on earth makes them get out of bed in the morning?

Lose bolt kills cat!

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
ORR is reported to be waiting for a visitation from the provisional wing of the RSPCA!

The recently mailed out hard copy of the 2008 Periodic Review final determination was a whopping 447 page tome.

Lobbed through a letter box by your average Postie it could reach speeds of almost 12mph by the time it hit the doormat.

With a weight close to 3.5lbs that would be enough to flatten the average moggie or toy dog with extreme prejudice.

Where is elf 'n' safety when it is really needed, demand the pet lovers of Great Britain?

Spot the difference...

...between the railway line pictured on the front cover of the ORR report into NR Corporate Governance and any assets that NR are actually responsible for. Perhaps NR's new Midlands & Continental territory is looking to expand?

Mouth activated, brain in neutral

Pre-recorded announcement on an SWT Juniper at Richmond station this morning.

"The door buttons are now activated"

Our correspondent wonders what particular problem this is a solution to?

Meanwhile no mention that the train is 12 late.

More fatuous on train announcements please