Anthropologically misunderstood?

Explaining Saturday nights chaos on the Circle line Mayor BoJo argued that the revellers had been "anthropomorphically misunderstood"

“I think what we had there was the kind of exuberant, Celtic-style wake for the passing, the long overdue passing, of a custom” he continued.

This clarification from the Mayor is very helpful as many Tube staff and passengers had mistaken those involved for a pissed-up rabble.

For the avoidance of doubt and ease of identification The Fact Compiler thought it might be helpful to show this picture of members of the Iceni tribe in mourning.

Spot the Crank #1

This young man is currently COO of one of the UKs premier InterCity TOCs.

Do you know who it is yet?

Answers on a postcard please to:

Chris Gibbs
COO
Virgin Trains
FREEPOST BM 6613
PO BOX 713
Birmingham
B5 4HH

Credit crisis hits new trains

Whilst The Big Grin Engine has ensured that English rail expansion is off the agenda the situation North of the border couldn't be more different.

There devolution has empowered the Scottish Executive to sponsor six major projects, including five line reopenings, to the tune of £1.5bn.

And whilst English TOCs wait for the Dullards at Daft to address the chronic shortage of trains, Transport Scotland has already set about procuring 120 new vehicles to strengthen services on the thriving Glasgow/Ayr and Glasgow Airport routes.

Despite rearguard lobbying from UNITE the manufacturer has already been chosen (Siemens) and the ROSCO appointed (HSBC) but now the deal starts to get messy.

Tartan sources advise that the new train order should have been announced some months ago but this has been delayed several times as the banking crisis worsens.

With a credit squeeze taking place and higher premiums on borrowing there are more attractive deals for the money to chase.

Before chums in the South East get too smug at their Scots' cousins misfortunes The Fact Compiler urges caution.

Whispers reach him that the credit crunch is also impacting on Southern's order for new dual-voltage Electrostars, needed to meet the revised service in Thameslink Key Output 0.

LTW shoots Brian Cooke for backing Boris

***London TravelWatch Announcement***

London TravelWatch confirms that at an Extraordinary Meeting this morning, the London Assembly Transport Committee determined that the Chair of London TravelWatch breached the terms and a condition of his appointment and therefore the appointment has been terminated with immediate effect.

London TravelWatch will issue a further statement shortly.

The voice of London's transport users
2 June 2008
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The Fact Compiler is pleased to see that Ken still has some mates left.

LibDems support HS2

***LibDems launch transport plan***

Main proposals include:

* Cutting fuel duty and abolishing VED over the next 10 years and introducing a cost-neutral road user pricing scheme on motorways and trunk roads

* Building a high speed rail network paid for by introducing emissions-linked charges on road freight and internal flights

* Introducing rolling contracts for train operating companies to increase long-term investment and improve services

* Give power to control local bus services back to local authorities

* Introducing a new fund for rural transport

* Giving passengers a stronger voice to improve local transport services through a new passenger watchdog

The Fact Compiler says shame they'll never get the chance to implement them,

Oil's well that ends well

According to the Daily Telegraph airlines are facing a £3bn loss unless oil prices turn. It can't be long before the first TOC squeals to the same tune.

As far as The Fact Compiler is aware only Arriva Cross Country hedged it's diesel costs for the entire life of the franchise.

Others have shorter deals which, if they haven't already, must soon be coming to an end. And with no obvious end to rising oil prices new hedges are getting hard to find.

Meanwhile the sagely head of the OECD claimed today that high oil prices send a clear signal to consumers and firms to curb their use of fuel.

Good news for the Government.

No longer do they need to price down passenger demand - they can just let the market starve the railway of fuel.

And no, electrification is not on the agenda

Kelly rejects "Super-lorries"

***DfT announces that heavier goods vehicles won't be allowed on British roads on either a trial or permanent basis. Cites potential to abstract from railfreight.***

Take a seat - they're all free

When "back to basics" adulterer Major Balls-up decided to unleash the UK's most idiotic privatisation there were romantic hopes that the network would be awash with open access operators.

As Wolmar points out in his latest Rail article this has failed to happen and the three open access operators currently plying their trade are by and large an irrelevance to the big issues facing today's industry.

Indeed there are many who would like to see them disappear so the Fact Compiler is somewhat surprised that they have not sought unity in adversity - where for instance is the Association of Open Access Operators?

Perhaps the reason such an entity doesn't exist is that it would have more members than customers.

Spotted at Leamington Spa this morning were both the "Up" and "Down" early morning services of the splendidly named Wrexham, Shropshire & Marylebone Railway.

Passenger count: ten on the North and twenty on the South bound!

Thank goodness DB has deep pockets!

UXB at Bromley by Bow

***17:17 - An unexploded Second World War bomb has resulted in the suspension of London Underground services through Bromley by Bow. Disruption could last for up to 48 hours***

***17:50 - Services now restored after ministrations from the Bomb Disposal Squad***

***18:45 - DB lawyers allegedly flying in from Germany to contest potential abatement claim from TfL against Loo Roll concession***

***20:45 - Is 2000lbs quite big then?***

***23:52 - Sources close to DfT say Ruth Kelly now believes she has found a cheap way to do Crossrail groundworks at Stratford***

Kettle meet pot

It's not often that Network Rail gets to have a go at the failings of others, so when it does it really goes to town.

Kerpow! Hidden Dragon's team pushed out a release on Friday headed NR seeking "urgent answers from TfL following Liverpool Street Bridge fiasco".

Thwok! COO Robin Gisby railed: "Passengers rightly want an explanation, as do I. Passengers deserve an apology for the disruption they suffered last night and this morning and I want assurances that such an incident can't and won't happen again."

The Fact Compiler doesn't believe in being churlish so therefore won't point out NR's exemplary record in delivering gold plated engineering fiascoes (Portsmouth, Christmas, Easter, etc...).

Splatt! Or indeed the fiasco this very morning when the brand new Mitcham Eastfields station failed to open on time.

Sadly Robin's own people don't seem to be listening to him, as there was no sign in the BBC piece of either an apology from NR or an undertaking to the people of Mitcham that it won't happen again tomorrow.

Load, shoot, aim!

Peanuts and monkeys

News that will have TOC owner groups quaking in their boots.

DafT is advertising for a new Commercial Negotiator.

Alongside all the guff about managing a team of Franchise Managers, negotiating Variations and advising Ministers the ad glibly states that the Commercial Negotiator will "be responsible for authorisation of contractual payments of c.£400million each year".

And the salary?

A massive £86k (plus Civil Service benefits)!

So accountable for £400million a year and the salary is less than £90k?

The Fact Compiler thinks such an important role is probably worth a bit more than this. And he can almost guarantee that there won't be a queue of senior TOC or ROSCO people, experienced in such commercial negotiations, willing to apply for the job as "poacher turned gamekeeper".

Perhaps DafT hopes they'll do it for Love?

This is getting repatitive

Has the railway suddenly become CV fashionable?

On Friday it was announced that yet another Chief Operating Officer has left the system to rescue a struggling "Blue Chip" company.

First, Mark Cooper, COO of Metronet, was called-up to sort BAE's supply chain.

Then Mike Brown, Underground COO, was parachuted in to fix Heathrow.

Latest to go is Steve Peat, Tubelines COO, who has been tasked with safeguarding BAA's investment in six other UK airports.

The Fact Compiler wonders if this will be enough to convince the Government that they should be allowed to keep all seven?

Meanwhile there are nervous whispers of a railway brain-drain.

Mappa mondeo

The Independent on Sunday has a well deserved reputation for promoting sustainability and championing the environment.

Only today its front page promised that if we all did our bit, by harnessing the power of sun and wind, we could reduce the need for new nuclear power stations and "save vast amounts of carbon dioxide".

A shame, therefore, that such environmental zeal does not extend to the Sindie's Promotions department, which had ensured every edition included a beautiful free Map of the British Isles. Sadly this was overlaid with the choking road system without a railway line or station to be seen.

The Fact Compiler's copy will be recycled.

RMT gets it right

Carnage during Tube alcohol party:

Sunday Telegraph

Very sad!

Lettuce pray

His Holiness the Dalai Lama used East Midlands Trains to attend a rally of the faithful in Nottingham last week.

Pictured with His Holiness is Tim Shoveller, MD of EMT. Deal maker Shoveller denied that he was seeking enlightenment from His Holiness on how EMT might avoid the threatened recession.

The Fact Compiler understands that in an unrelated development EMT goes fully vegetarian from Monday.

Disruption at Liverpool Street

So who, or what, is to blame for the chaos at Liverpool Street?

Network Rail are quick off the mark and have already pointed the finger at a "bridge recently installed by TfL over the tracks for the East London Line extension".

Meanwhile The "soaraway" Sun makes a mixed fist of it with a piss-poor headline but some great photographs.

It's Grand up North!

***December '08 graph showing two Grand Union paths to Bradford***

Loo Roll unrolls

Whilst TfL busies itself absorbing Metronet, and BoJo worries how to get the Big Grin Engine to cough up for Crossrail, it now looks as if the wheels are coming off at London Rail.

It's not been a happy ship over at the joint MTR/Laing Rail venture in recent weeks with a host of operating professionals voting with their feet.

The Fact Compiler hears that they are soon to be one short of an Operations Director as well.

One wonders how the news will play in Berlin and Honkers - if Shooter tells them of course.

Popster defends NR overruns

Coucher-Tiger-Hidden-Dragon and other residents of the Black Tower will be heartened to see that they have a doughty defender in aged popster & kettle-crank Pete Waterman.

According to yesterday's Coventry Telegraph Pete believes that the recent £14m fine imposed on NR by the Office of Rail Regulation was unjust.

"It's outrageous that the company trying to make it work is fined. Off course work overruns. If you tried to carry out repairs at home like putting in a new toilet and you pulled out an old pipe work would overrun."

The analogy is apt - in both cases one ends up covered in shit - although perhaps best not to talk it Pete.

Ken's little eggs

Today is the day that BoJo took over Metronet and it's £1.4bn obligation to upgrade the BCV & SSR lines.

It is also the day when a number of the little eggs that Ken left behind are starting to hatch...

Egg 1: Ken did a deal with the RMT to avert a threatened Metronet strike last month.

An 18th April RMT press release quoted Crowbar Bob as saying:

"We now have in writing undertakings that when the Metronet contracts are taken back in-house by TfL there will be no outsourcing, and that all Metronet staff will be entitled to join the TfL pension fund and enjoy the same travel facilities as other TfL employees".

The Fact Compiler wonders if anyone in BoJo's office has priced up providing all that free travel?

And membership of the TfL pension fund won't exactly come cheap...

Of course many existing Metronet employees (inherited from LUL) are already members of the scheme.

Which means that under the law of unintended consequences the biggest beneficiaries of Ken's largesse will be those Directors and Senior Managers brought into Metronet by the former shareholder companies!

RMT - fighting for the rights of senior private sector employees!

Egg 2: On March 16th TfL announced a £98m deal to bring Croydon Tramlink back in house.

The Fact Compiler again wonders who will pay for this?

Perhaps BoJo could ask the then Transport Commissioner who agreed both deals, one Peter Hendy?