There are dangers in believing that old canard about the 'earth moving' during passion.
As this South African couple quickly discovered.
Was it the Jubilee line extension that claimed it went faster, deeper, longer?
The Fact Compiler has received a communication from a concerned resident of Sheppey, which is soon to become a hole in the ground.
It would appear that before BoJo's brand spanking new Heathrow airport replacement can be built, a large volume of unexploded war time ordinance needs shifting.
The proposed airport is to be created on an artificial island in the Thames Estuary off the Isle of Sheppey, near the site of wrecked liberty ship SS Richard Montgomery.
The ship sank in 1944 carrying 1,500 tons of explosives.
"He's mad, we're doomed!" screamed my correspondent.
Sounds like it, which ever way you look at it.
The Fact Compiler had assumed that last night's ATOC/NR fringe event was subject to Chatham House rules and therefore suppressed the urge to blog - despite much temptation.
Fortunately Tom Harris, fearless of his party's feminist banshees, has posted his opening gambit on his own blog so it's now fair game!
"Since being appointed rail minister, I’ve “gone native”, as it were, and found myself doing something I would never have imagined doing before: buying railway magazines at W.H. Smith. But to avoid embarrassment, I also buy a copy of Playboy to put the rail magazine inside."
The Fact Compiler wonders why its only Rail magazine that he has to hide inside a porno mag?
As a modally agnostic minister does he therefore shroud Modern Railways in Aviation Today or mask Railway Magazine with Autocar?
Perhaps we should be told.
Meanwhile readers of Railway Eye are invited to assist Tom with alternative opening gags for industry events - contributions here.
Telegrammed by Brochet
A wondrous new website, on the redevelopment of Birmingham New Street station, has appeared on the interweb.
Regrettably it has been built using Flash so those with restrictive IT policies on Javascript will be unable to view it - to get frustrated click here
As a service to the industry The Fact Compiler has reproduced the home page image here.
Lovely!
But a hole is still a hole, even if you cover it with a pretty tent!
Ruth Kelly - opportunity knocks!
The Prime Minister is attending the Labour party conference. He addresses the Conference on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he flies to New York where he will remain until Friday.
While the Old Man's away why not slip in something radical - how about announcing funding for electrification of both the MML and GWML ?
Kent On-line reports that the Chunnel blaze was more severe than that experienced in 1996.
Fire chiefs briefed Kent County Councillors and Medway Councillors behind closed doors
Photographs distributed at the meeting show the tunnel lining stripped back to the supporting steel structures.
Read the Kent On-line story here.Even though we are now in the season of mellow fruitfulness the Railway Gardeners continue to ply their trade (or Network Rail fails to ply its - take your pick).
Here a discreet offering on the East Coast Mainline down slow.
Nice to see NR helping Welwyn Garden City live up to its name.
From our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Wednesday morning sees the brothers and sisters debate Transport at t'Conference.
Expect Saint Ruth of the Catenary, the Apostle of the Pantograph, to say something positive about electrification.
No doubt short of any financial commitment.
Captain Deltic of Modern Railway's fame is renowned for the surgical skill with which he wields the stiletto.
Therefore The Fact Compiler was much looking forward to the latest Informed Sources ePreview which plopped into his inbox this morning.
With numerous hacks swanning around Manchester for the Labour Party conference this week perhaps one of them could tax the Secretary of State or one of her ministers on the following insight from the good Captain:
"Didn’t Rail Minister Tom Harris say that the mythical 1300 (new vehicles) didn’t include the 1100 Thameslink vehicles? Well they do now, leaving poor old Tom stitched up by his officials yet again."
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first...
Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
A confused indifference pricing expert writes.
Lease rentals for the MOLA fleet were set (by DafT and its consultants/bankers/advisers/leasing experts) so that TOCs would be 'indifferent' financially as to whether they leased new stock or kept their MOLA fleet trains.
The laudable aim was to ensure that sparkling new trains were not priced out of the market by cheapo second hand trains.
As the CoCo provisional findings show, DafT has already 'up-buggered' (technical term - Ed) the leasing market so that new trains are now significantly more expensive than the MOLA fleet.
So now DafT wants to make MOLA fleet rentals even cheaper. Making new trains even more unaffordable.
Still it's one way of getting out of that commitment to 1300 additional vehicles that the previous Transport Secretary was so keen on.
Not that the ROSCOs are likely to be keen to fund them if they face the prospect of retrospective DafT demands for mid lease rental cuts.
How does it go?
First they came for the slam door stock, then they came for the MOLA fleet...
Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
More on ORR chair hunt.
We note that a chair is static and squeaks if you try to move it around.
Of course, if on castors it goes shooting off in the desired direction at the smallest nudge.
Both attributes are just what DafT is looking for.
The latest issue of Private Eye has an 'HP Sauce' story about Crossrail lite.
Railway Eye readers will of course already be aware of the descoped 'value engineering' option for the scheme which was reported here over a month ago.
Railway Eye is delighted Lord Gnome has become a fan.
Telegrammed by The Raver
Exciting times at the Office for Rail Regulation.
The Sunday Times advises that the regulatory body is looking for a new chair.
Whither Chris Bolt?
Telegrammed by our man in 222 Marylebone Road
According to Appendix A – 'Indicative Strategic Research Projects' of DafT's 'Rail industry research strategy implementation plan':
"A recent modelling study by Birmingham University demonstrated an energy saving of 6.75% for hybrid use on the East Coast Main Line and 14.75% for the Great Western Railway."
Aside from a wormhole of 60 years that allowed the GWR to slip into the appendix why a Desk study?
Whilst DafT postures the real railway industry (in the form of Brush Traction, Hitachi and Porterbrook Leasing) have already designed and developed a hybrid High Speed Train power car 'proof-of-concept-demonstrator', tested it, run it in daily service powering Network Rail's New Measurement Train and measured the fuel consumption savings.
Job done!
The Hayabusa hybrid is now being converted back to standard configuration because East Midlands Trains need more traction.
So lucky it didn't win the innovation award on Thursday night.
The Fact Compiler has been contacted by a confused senior manager in a Rosco.
Dear Fact Compiler, he politely writes.
I am somewhat confused and wonder if you can help.
In the Department for Transport's response to the CoCo's provisional findings it states:
"In order to avoid perpetuating the current levels of consumer detriment going forward, however, DfT would wish to see a resetting of the rentals in current MOLA leases as well as controlling the levels of rental to be charged at lease renewal."
Would this perhaps be the same Department for Transport that was a counter signatory to all the leases, and lease rentals, for the new Cross Country, East Midlands and London Midlands franchises that were signed off in November 2007 ?
Yours sincerely
A. Confused-Banker
The Fact Compiler admits that this is a most difficult conundrum.
Perhaps the CoCo can help by asking DfT why, if the current MOLA lease rentals are a "consumer detriment", they approved them just ten months ago?
The Fact Compiler is advised by an impeccable source that there is raw fury in the DfT over the provisional findings of the CoCo investigation into the Roscos.
A view confirmed by the strongly worded DafT response to the Competition Commission's provisional findings.
So great is the anger in Marsham Street that virtually everyone in the industry receives a kicking including the TOCs.
Indeed one section of the report could almost have been written by Lady Shriti Vadera herself (she who viewed TOCs as "thinly capitalised equity profiteers of the worst kind").
For the benefit of Railway Eye readers the relevant section is repeated in full below:
1.11 It is important to recognise the wider picture. Overall, the Government's total subsidy to the railway is currently running at around £4.2 billion per annum. Government subsidies to the train passenger operators are currently running at the rate of £800 million per annum. In deciding on the optimum length of a franchise, any potential impact on the rolling stock market will tend to be a secondary consideration. Of primary importance will be producing better value
for taxpayers and better performance for passengers. In this context, the experience of long franchises since privatisation is mixed. Long franchises have often failed to deliver the anticipated outcomes and in a number of high profile cases have had severe adverse consequences for government.
The following may be considered to be "long franchises": Chiltern, C2C, Connex South Eastern, Virgin West Coast and Virgin Cross Country.
That Connex (now Veolia) screwed up is undoubtedly true but the Fact Compiler is struggling to think of others.
Both Virgin franchises were skewered by the fiasco of Railtrack's over ambitious West Coast Mainline Upgrade, whilst Chiltern and C2C are generally held to have done well.
So who on earth can the frothing boys and girls at DafT be referring to when they claim a "number of high profile cases have had severe adverse consequences for government?"
Names and examples please.
Having appointed Dr Phil Bennett as interim Director of Technology, the cash chewing project's Executive Chairman, Doug Oakervee, found he was obliged to advertise the position in accordance with Public Sector Guidelines.
For a role that demanded strong IT and project management skills the resulting candidate profile appeared unusually prescriptive; requiring any interested party to be both a Chartered Engineer and a Fellow of the Institution of Electrical Engineers.
Rather than placing ads for this demanding and prestigious role in the trades and broadsheets, or appointing a top notch head hunter, it was felt better to circulate details of the vacancy internally and post it discreetly on the Crossrail website.
Unsurprisingly only three people applied for the post.
All were interviewed and, alas, none appointed.
Meanwhile, the venerable Dr Bennett, an old colleague of Oakervee's from Hong Kong days, continues in post on consultancy rates.
Nice work if you can get it.
Telegrammed by The Master
Passengers longing for an end to the disruption caused by Victoria line upgrade works didn't know whether to laugh or cry this afternoon.
PA announcements across the network relayed the dismal news that the "planned early closure" of the Vic had been cancelled yet again.
One can't help wondering if LU's in-house engineering contractor Metronet tuned the clock back to year zero when it was taken over by TfL earlier this year?
Without the pressure of time there seems scant desire to make use of hard won extended engineering hours.
Perhaps Tiling is to join Whiff-whaff as a 2012 Olympic event?
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