Christmas is a time for giving

Should Wolmar stick to the day job?

Friday night saw the Railway Children Annual Ball at which the great man acted as celebrity auctioneer.

Despite valiant efforts Wolmar was faced with an industry that mostly sat on its hands whilst the bids were called.

Fortunately NRM nemesis, Richard Bowker, manfully stepped up to the crease and shelled out a whopping £18k for a signed Banksy print (pictured).


The well known 'graffiti artist' (don't you mean 'vandal'? Ed) had donated the print especially and specified all monies raised should go directly into Railway Children funds.

Even so the catalogue had to describe the lot as a "blue tank engine with a face" - for copyright reasons. A situation not unknown to our Heritage Railway friends, despite their doing so much to promote and develop the Thomas the Tanks Engine brand.

Perhaps Railway Eye shouldn't be too hard on Wolmar, as he gave his time for free.

Unlike many of those at the bash, who seemed freer with expense accounts at the bar than their own cash at the auction.

Oooops!

Courtesy of Guido


Sauce for the goose and all that...

The wrong trousers

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Railway Eye was delighted to receive the following in a press release from The Stonewood Group:

"Data Breeches A Thing Of The Past - Guaranteed
Stonewood Group, the World’s leading designer and manufacturer of accredited encrypted hard drives, has announced the launch of the first ever fully encrypted, fully portable family of products for today’s mobile workforce".

The Stonewood Group are to be congratulated for abolishing ITSO compliant keks before they've been invented.

Chapter of faults

The battle to be Terry Morgan's successor at Tube Lines has begun.

The Independent on Sunday is touting internal candidates Andrew Cleaves (commercial director ) and Steve Hurrell (finance chief).

Mind you the Sindie also touted Rob Holden for the Crossrail top job.

And yes, The Fact Compiler got it half wrong as well.

Long dark night of the soul

Are civil servants in other departments losing faith in DfT's oft disputed claim that there will be 1,300 new rail vehicles?

This parliamentary exchange from the 25th November:

Theresa Villiers (Shadow Secretary of State for Transport, Transport; Chipping Barnet, Conservative) Hansard source
"To ask the Secretary of State for Transport of the 1,300 new carriages referred to in the 2007 Rail White Paper, how many will be allocated (a) to First Transpennine and (b) to First Capital Connect; and whether they will be in addition to the new Thameslink carriages."

Paul Clark (PPS (Rt Hon Ed Balls, Secretary of State), Department for Children, Schools and Families; Gillingham, Labour)
"The HLOS Rolling Stock Plan published on 30 July 2008 shows 42 additional vehicles allocated to the First Transpennine Express franchise and 85 additional vehicles allocated to the First Capital Connect franchise. These carriages are not part of those being procured for the Thameslink upgrade."

Hmmm... "shows" doesn't exactly sound like a ringing endorsement. How long before DafT explains the number away as a "rounding error"?

Economic news

This courtesy of The Crown Blogspot via Iain Dale.



Railway Eye's latest poll refers.

A bridge too far?

Richard Bowker, as Chairman of the Strategic Rail Authority, played a significant role in helping to deliver a much needed new footbridge, directly linking York station and the National Railway Museum for the first time.

The SRA's intervention removed layers of red tape and ensured that the £500k footbridge could be be built in time for the NRM's high profile 2004 RailFest - showing that todays industry could rise above narrow self interest when required.

As well as shaving 10 minutes off the pedestrian journey between York station and the NRM the footbridge also means passengers and local residents can avoid the deeply unpleasent Leeman Road tunnel - which is possibly the world's longest latrine.

Alas, the direct link to the NRM is now under threat as National Express East Coast have announced their intention to gate York station.

An unintended consequence of which will be the loss of pedestrian access through the station to the National Railway Museum when the barriers are introduced next year.

Interestingly the proprieter of National Express East Coast is one Richard Bowker.

Any chance of coming to the rescue again Richard?

UPDATE: A contributor writes...

"Very interested to see your piece on York, the 'NRM' footbridge and the dreaded gates.

"First of all, a great gag at the time that the bridge was opened by RB was that the bridge was, in fact, 'the East Coast Upgrade'!

"The other interesting point, of course, is that Grand Central sell tickets on their trains... but now their passengers will be denied access to said trains without... a ticket!!

"Surely this didn't play a part in NX's thinking..."

Surely not!

Houston we have a problem

Good to see Transport Scotland setting the very highest standards of public probity.

This from The Herald

"Opposition politicians and unions last night called for an inquiry after a report raised questions of conflict of interest in the award of Scotland's £2.5bn railway franchise.

"Concerns arose after Guy Houston quit as finance and corporate services director of Transport Scotland following publication of a report by Audit Scotland.

"Mr Houston, thought to earn £90,000 a year, stepped down on Thursday night after it emerged he held shares and share options in FirstGroup, which will receive the £2.5bn in government subsidies over the next 10 years."

Frankly unbelievable. This stinks.

Spot the difference

With apologies to all those who didn't attend the Golden Spanner awards as this will make no sense at all.

Come back Haydn...

Along to Modern Railway's Golden Spanner awards which celebrate the best improvements in fleet performance.

With the police busy locking up MPs who have embarrassed the Supreme Leader it is only right that today's awards ceremony should reflect the Age of Change.

Thus Comrade Deltic addressed the gathering from the podium and unveiled stunning train production figures for the next five years.


A number of comrades were seen to leave early. Their details have been recorded!

Alas, the same cannot be said for Rosco Angel Trains - which owned none of the winning fleets.

UPDATE: Generalismo Deltic writes:

"Generalissimo Deltic asks Eye to point out that the most reliable Intercity fleet is the IC225 trains operated by the East Coast Workers Collective and that it is the aim of the revanchist running dog lackeys of Marsham Street to replace these at an early date with the so called IEP which is likely to be the least reliable Intercity fleet .

"If this adventurism continues, the Generalissimo urges the serried ranks of railway workers, peasant and intellectuals, to rise up! And standing shoulder to shoulder to deliver a stunning rebuff to these decadent paper tigers, masquerading as rail management, as they cower in their bunkers."

Railway AgitProp Communique No 1

Last supper

Norfolk bon viveurs continue to campaign vigourously for the retention of restaurant cars on National Express East Anglia services.

With mounting local fury and accusations that removal of the caterers will be a breach of the franchise terms it's all looking slightly messy.

However, there is one piece of good news for the beleagured bus bandits.

Unused to the wicked ways of the world the innocents of Norfolk have trustingly petitioned Gordon Brown, emploring him to retain restuarant cars.

Blind fools! Newly enervated Comrade Brown has little time for such bourgeois frippery, especially as The Age of Change will consign all such extravagences to oblivion through the twin agents of recession and tax hikes. Long live the Proletarian Revolution! Long live the Age of Change!

Angry bonce?

More exciting news from the world of Kettles

A reader writes to pose the following interesting technical question:

"If Tornado's test runs have been so successful why did the team have to remetal the inside crosshead?"

Answers on a postcard please to Running (Hot) Foreman, York MPD

UPDATE: A contributor writes:

Surely the purpose of test running is precisely to flush out any minor mechanical flaws?

A hot crosshead resulting from a slightly inadequate oil way is exactly the sort of thing I’d expect during trials and is therefore hardly a valid target for your sharp approach.

Hey, there’s a real argument that to suffer only a hot crosshead on a brand new standard gauge engine is a triumph of testing, not a failure....?

The Fact Compiler will get his coat...

West Toast Railway

Telegrammed by Jack Ketch
West Coast Railway Company appear determined to continue making their mark, despite losing out to EWS on the operation of Tornado.

Thus on Monday the company treated the residents of Crewe to a splendid fireworks display courtesy of 37712

With four appliances in attendance and the juice switched off for an hour there was much to see.

Although sadly very few of the trains that passengers were actually waiting for.

Inflexible

A banker writes:

According to DafT's press release today about the invitation to tender for 1,200 new Thameslink vehicles:

"Carriages will be joined together permanently to form a train and will stay this way in a 'fixed formation' for the rest of their working life. This will make the manufacturing process simpler and more economical, and allows the trains to work more reliably".

Shame then that these trains, although more economical to manufacture, will be relatively expensive to lease given the residual value risk associated with such an inflexible formation.

Poor old DafT, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

How Green is my kettle

Telegrammed by Eboracum (50A)
The sharp eyed cranks amongst you will have noticed that all the recent test runs of new ‘Uber Kettle’ Tornado have been crewed by EWS rather than the expected operator West Coast Railways.

How can this be?

Alas, it would appear that the A1 Trust declined to paint the loco in BR Brunswick Green.

So the loco, in battleship grey, is now running on an EWS ticket.

Surprisingly the choice of photographic grey has proved surprisingly beneficial to the A1 trust.

Not least because it helped show off the logo of test run sponsor National Express to great effect.

Indeed so great was the horde of spectators lining the route of the first test run that Railway Eye understand a sponsor for the second mainline test has already been signed up...

UPDATE: A reader writes:

"It appears there is an inaccuracy with your latest post about Tornado - a sponsor for the 'second mainline test' is unlikely to have been found, because all 3 tests (light engine, 60mph and 75mph) have all been completed successfully.

Indeed, her next appearance in a few weeks time will be in apple green with British Railways on the tender."

Railway Eye stands corrected!

Pug

David Wilcock, Britain's most senior kettle-crank, has been ritually humiliated on national TV by botox powered witch Ann Robinson.

Poor old David was the second to be dumped in the latest edition of the Weakest Link..

But the greatest indignity to befall Britain's arch-puffer-nutter was when Ann commanded him to imitate an L&Y pug.

Mr Toad like he offered a feeble "puff, puff, puff".


To see David's abject misery click here and forward to 7.50 minutes into the show.

David, you ARE the weakest link....goodbye.

New Thameslink fleet

***Alstom, Bombardier, Hitachi and Siemens have been invited to tender today for 1,200 new Thameslink vehicles***

Read the DafT press release here.

Crossrail Programme Partner shortlist

***Crossrail, today announced that three organisations have been short-listed for stage two of the programme partner tendering process. The short-listed tenderers for stage two are Bechtel, Legacy 3 (a joint venture between Parsons Brinckerhoff, Balfour Beatty Management and Davis Langdon) and Transcend (a joint venture between AECOM, CH2M Hill and Nichols Group).***

Buffhoon Air

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Still trying to find out more about the 200 vehicles being delivered earlier than not expected, it was time to give the DafT press office another go.

'Is that the rail desk' we asked?

'No, replied a clipped 'Captain Speaking' voice, 'this is the Aviation desk'

'Have I dialled a wrong number?'

'No, there's no one on the Rail Desk'.

'Copy that, AvDesk. Over and out'.

ITSO out-of-date

***The perils of modern technology explained***