From the Hammond Organs to Kelly's Heroes?

Regular Eye readers will recall that the DafT press office is lovingly referred to as the Hammond Organs.

Now Network Rail's media monkeys are to be known as Kelly's Heroes, following the news that former Blair Uber-Spinner Tom Kelly is to join NR as Director of Comms.

This from PR Week...


Eye hopes that Tom won't be bringing his photographer with him.

UPDATE: This from the Kelly's Heroes over at King's Place...

Private Kelly has just asked me to forward the following:

"You can re-assure Railway Eye that the photographer has indeed been fired - on their recommendation."

Good effort.

Bombardier - Almost 1,500 Derby jobs to go

This from Bombardier Transportation...

Bombardier Transportation Announces Proposed Downsizing at its Derby facility

Loss of Thameslink contract and completion of existing workload forces announcement

Derby 5 July 2011: Bombardier Transportation today announced that it will initiate a 90 day statutory consultation process to downsize and adjust capacity at its train manufacturing facility in Derby. Employees were told today that there was not sufficient workload going forward to keep the facility operating at current levels. A total of 446 permanent jobs and 983 temporary contract staff would be affected in the proposed readjustment.

Derby is now completing orders for metro cars for London Underground’s SubSurface Lines and Victoria Line and Turbostar diesel multiple units for London Midland. All but the SubSurface Lines contract will be complete by the end of September this year.

“The culmination and successful delivery of these projects and the loss of the Thameslink contract ,which would have secured workload at this site, means that it is inevitable that we must adjust capacity in line with economic reality,” said Francis Paonessa, President of the Passengers Division for the UK.

“We regret this outcome but without new orders we cannot maintain the current level of employment and activity at Derby” Francis Paonessa added. “Over the next 90 days together with employee representatives we will work with individual employees to ensure the best possible outcome for our people,”

Bombardier acquired the Derby site from Daimler Chrysler in 2001 and over the ten year period has invested substantially in creating a state-of-the-art train manufacturing facility and centre of excellence for high technology rail engineering. The company has also successfully exported UK-built trains. Derby site currently employs 3000 and supports an estimated 12,000 employees in its supply chain.

Colin S Walton, Chairman of Bombardier Transportation in the UK, commented: “The loss of the Thameslink contract, has forced us to conduct a UK-wide review of our operations. This announcement today is part of an on-going process.”

ENDS

Don't tell him Pike!

This from Herr Restorer of Deutsche Reichsbahn...

You Britishers are a funny lot.

Either you like to dress as Germans to ride aboard your railways.


Or your Government begs superior German engineers and managers to build and run your trains.

Sadly not all of you have embraced the spirit of the new Europe!

There remain a small number of recidivists who still dream of a time when your small island ran and made things!

Foolish Britishers!

So whose idea was a Union Flag on the Brandenburg Gate?


This will not be tolerated!

Remember! We have ways of making you walk.

Where will Cowardly Custard be tomorrow?

This from Sky News...

Train-making firm Bombardier is set to announce up to 2,000 job losses - with the Government's decision to award a lucrative order to a German consortium being blamed...

It is reported the company will confirm the cuts at a news conference it has called for tomorrow.

No doubt cowardly-custard Petrol-head will arrange for Cruella to provide another Written Answer, this time lamenting the job losses.

And assuring those facing the dole that Hammond and Cable have written to the Prime Minister expressing their concerns.

Whoopy-doop!

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

Who can forget the reassuring words of Philip Hammond on 1st March 2011 after the IEP contract was awarded to Hitachi:

'Bombardier... has a very bright future in the UK train market'.

Weasel words that will no doubt be of considerable comfort to Litchurch Lane workers.

Poetry Korner - The Night Mail (updated)

This from Trailer Second, with apologies to W H Auden...

This is the Voyager crossing the Border
Standing room only, unless you pre order
Seating for the rich, corridors for the poor
The shop has sold out, the buffet no more
Revving up Beattock, claiming to be green
The wires above her, no pan to be seen
Birds turn their heads, as she approaches
Stare from the bushes, at her paltry 5 coaches

Cars in the fast lane can’t keep pace
Have comfortable seats and a lot more grace
Thro’ heather and weather but not fallen leaves
With approval ratings that no-one believes
Shoveling carbon over her shoulder
Nox, particulates, benzene, sulphur
Her weight fatigues the railway line
She’s ten minutes late but that’s on time

In the farm she passes no one wakes
All long gone to euro milk lakes
Dawn freshens but the toilet’s full
Snarling toward the urban sprawl
Scotland, independent nation
Soon an end to this vibration
Past rough estates and fast food chains
Dodging the stones from those with no brains

Call centres, offices, low cost homes
Tattooed teenagers with tweeting phones
Once steel and coal and engineering
Graffiti, flats and multi screening
Trainspotting here is not what it seems
But fuels the crime to pay for dreams
In the dark glens beside pale green sea lochs
Men read their e-mails

(Other urban sprawls are available)

Petrol-head puts on the knuckle-duster

Given the lukewarm response of the industry to McNulty it is perhaps not surprising that Cowardly Custard has had to get a bit fierce.

This from a Hammond statement on the McNulty Report and West Coast franchise, made in the House on the 19th June:

Longer franchises and a changed relationship with Network Rail will have a positive impact on the behaviour of train operators and their appetite for investment and risk taking.

However, I want to send a clear message that the new culture of co-operation in the rail industry, and the focus on cost reduction, is here to stay and is mandatory, not optional.

I can announce today that as a matter of policy for all future franchise competitions, a significant part of the assessment of bidders’ capability at the pre-qualification stage will be evidence of success in collaborative working and driving down costs.

Fighting talk indeed!

But is it enough of a stick to bring everyone back to the table, even those who have absolutely nothing left to lose?

Pointless signs - Basingstoke

Railway Garden Competition - Horsham

Railway Garden Competition - Peterborough Yard

UPDATE: This from 31154...

I think your picture of Peterborough Yard requires a new category - Railway Farming Competition perhaps?

Very clever, though.

They seem to have genetically modified their crop to grow a snowplough in the field!

Railway Garden Competition - Bristol Temple Meads

Esoteric Events - exciting new Eye feature!

Time for an exciting new Eye feature!

Welcome to Esoteric Events - a gentle meander through the highways and byways of the burgeoning conference circuit that does so much to add cost to our industry (shurely 'add value to the railways'? Ed)

This from someone called Tiger Projects:

The Tiger Project partners with the European Commission support are pleased to invite you to the Second Tiger annual conference to be held on November 30th 2011 in HAMBURG on the Exhibition Floor of INTERMODAL EUROPE 2011 event – HAMBURG MESSE.

The title of the Conference is:

"The Co-modal industrialisation chain from Ports to the Hinterland destinations answering the challenges of growing maritime traffic volumes ".

Perhaps it reads better in the original German?

UPDATE: This from Eastwestdivide...

Given that Tiger's own website description helpfully starts:

"TIGER is the acronym of “Transit via Innovative Gateway concepts solving European - intermodal Rail needs”. TIGER Project is a Large Scale Integrated Collaborative Project for the development of Rail transport in competitive and co-modal freight logistics chains."

I can't imagine the German being any better, even if it is one single 161-character word that wouldn't fit on a single Twitter entry.

Auf wiederemailen

Von Shooter flies into the sunset?

This from Chiltern's Herr Von Shooter...

I am writing to let you know that I have decided to retire from the Chairmanship of Chiltern Railways and DB Regio at the end of December.

By then I shall have had the great privilege of leading Chiltern for nearly 18 years and I will have reached the age of 63.

I have enjoyed every part of my 41 years in the rail industry but especially the opportunity to lead the teams who built Chiltern Railways.

It is always difficult to decide when to move on but, having for the last 3 years also been acting M.D. of Chiltern, I have now handed that role to Rob Brighouse who I appointed earlier in the year. He will lead a very strong team to further successes, the first of which will be the new much faster Chiltern Mainline service between Birmingham and London. We will launch this together.

Meanwhile, I would like to continue to take an active part in the rail industry. In addition I have been asked to be Chairman of the CBI West Midlands Council for 2012 and 2013.

Adrian Shooter, CBE, Chairman of Chiltern Railways

DafT to receive influx of rail experts tomorrow

Good news for those who care about our railways!

According to this afternoons' Lobby briefing: Civil servants have been told that they can bring their children into work tomorrow, if their child's school is closed because of strike action.

The Government estimates that of England's 17,000 schools - including academies - one third would close, one third would be partially open and one third would be open.

Perhaps a first for the Department for Transfer - Great Minster House will actually contain people who like trains!

But Eye fears tears before bedtime, when Mr Kipling refuses to allow anyone else to play with his expensive new trainset.

Railway Garden Competition - London Bridge

Thameslink fleet - Flipflop iDave holds out hope?

Much rejoicing in the East Midlands!

As iDave carries out yet another U turn, this time over Circus Animals, local politicos can already smell blood in their campaign to preserve the UK's last remaining train manufacturing plant.

Regular Eye readers will recollect that last week the Department for Transfer awarded the £2bn contract for new Thameslink trains to Siemens, who will build all 1,500 vehicles in errr... Germany!

Meanwhile, some 3,000 Derby workers employed by unlucky bidder Bombardier face an uncertain future of empty order books and hard times.

Happily, hell hath no fury like a region scorned.

Eye understands that the normally pliant East Midland's business and political communities are furious over this slap in the face, with several leading figures suggesting that the region should now seek to scupper Hammond's pet project - HS2.

HS2, according to Petrol-head, is all about economic benefits.

But with Thameslink decided without reference to local economies, there won't be many left to benefit from HS2. If, and when, it eventually crawls through Derbys' and Nott's'.

Still don't expect miracles. iDave only visits the region for photocalls, whilst Hammond couldn't even be bothered to announce, in person, that over 3,000 skilled UK jobs will vanish overseas.

Warwickshire sets out transport priorities

This from the Birmingham Post...

Conservative-led Warwickshire County Council is set to take its case against HS2 railway plans to the Government...

The county council says it has been working with other councils opposing HS2 along the route, and action groups and HS2 Ltd to “gather data” about HS2.

Would this be the same Warwickshire County Council that is funding opposition to HS2 and at the same time withdrawing support for local bus services after 7pm.

It surely is!

Warwickshire CC’s portfolio holder for transport and highways, Coun Peter Butlin, said the authority was left with little choice but to axe the services once their grant was cut.

“The only way we could balance our budgetary responsibility and keep providing services was to target the areas where there are fewer customers,” he added.

“It’s unpalatable, but it’s a fact of life".

Indeed it is - unpalatable that is.

Lookalike - Thunderball

With a bowler tip to today's Grauniad...

Exciting new Eye competition - Spot the VM

Time for an exciting Eye competition!

Using your skill and judgement see if you can spot the Vice Marshall in this delightful urban setting.


Any suggestion that this post is a gratuitous HS2 puff piece is, of course, completely wide of the mark.

UPDATE: This from Mark (no not that one, the other one)...

Never mind spotting the VM - was there any logic or was it merely Karma that on the side of a bus making the bold proclamation 'yes to Jobs' that the Siemens logo should also appear?

May I suggest 'No to Derby' to be a more suitable slogan on this occasion?

UPDATE: This from Sealink Sam...

Here's another 'Spot the VM' picture for Eye's collection.

It really is him, in 1972, on the new MV Hengist, Folkestone-Boulogne.


Yes, Sealink promotional shots in the 1970s really were this sophisticated.

Railway Garden Competition - Barbican

This from a Dr Strabismus...


I attach a picture of the "Hanging Gardens of Barbican" for consideration in the Railway Gardens section of your highly esteemed e-organ.

TfL destined to repeat past mistakes?

This from Our International Correspondent...

No-one can accuse Transport for London of being obsessed with its own history (despite being trapped in ancient infrastructure).

This from a call to the London Transport Museum at Covent Garden yesterday afternoon ---

Hello, can I speak to one of the curatorial team please?

No, sorry, they only work on Mondays and Thursdays. Please call back.

MThO curators? Broken Britain indeed!