Going, going, gone?

Timing as they say is everything.

Smart money suggested that Go-Ahead would keep it's head down after turning London Midland into a disaster zone in recent weeks.

So full marks to Go-Ahead for deciding to announce 300 job losses on the South Eastern today.

A move designed to gladden the hearts of Ministers battling growing unemployment figures, especially after Go-Ahead recorded profits of £131.1 million last year.

With DafT due to announce the winner of the South Central franchise in the summer, Go-Ahead must hope Ministers have short memories.....

Prepare for Opposition!

Railway Eye salutes the generosity of Lord Adonis!

This self serving tosh from DafT...

"Passengers who have suffered during a week of misery on the West Coast Main Line should claim compensation under the Passenger's Charter, Transport Minister Andrew Adonis said today."

Putting aside the fact that it was DafT which demanded the completion of the West Coast Mainline Upgrade by Christmas (which may, or may not, have contributed to this week's chaos) it is of course Network Rail who will pay TOCs for the disruption caused.

The TOCs then reimburse passengers for the 'week of misery'.

So why a Government minister feels compelled to remind passengers that they can claim money from private sector companies for the latest West Coast Woe is a mystery.

This is the sort of grandstanding one expects from an opposition party.

Perhaps Adonis is preparing for the back benches?

UPDATE: Wolmar of course takes a contrary view...

The Case of the Silent Dog (Episode 2)

"I say, Holmes, aren't you being a little hard on the ORR? They have produced a statement after all."

"Indeed, Watson, and what did it say?"

"Well, Holmes, it said they are taking it all 'very seriously indeed' and are 'closely monitoring what NR is doing to get things working again'."

"And what do you deduce from this Watson?"

"That they are watching, Holmes."

"So Watson, which is more deserving of supper; a watchdog that watches, or a watchdog that barks?"

Highway robbery

If only DafT and Cambridge County Council had listened to Cast Iron - the lobby group seeking to return a railway line to St Ives.

This from Transport Briefing...

"Fears that the Cambridge to St Ives guided busway project could cost more than planned have prompted promoter Cambridgeshire County Council to delay the construction of passenger facilities."

How splendid. The UK's first freight busway.

Baggage train

Exciting news from Network Rail!

According to a press release Waterloo passengers are to "benefit from Europe's largest ticket gate line".

The Fact Compiler had always thought that ticket barriers were designed to prevent fare evasion.

How old railway!

Apparently today's ticket barriers actually enhance the travel experience!

They're also great for staff morale - just watch heavily loaded passengers try to use them. Chortle!

Road to nowhere

Looks like BoJo's decision last year to cape the Dagenham Dock extension has hit the DLR hard.

Indeed if this page, on the TfL website, is anything to go by it rather looks like the project team have entered a state of denial!

Perhaps they hope Boris will think again.

Deluded fools.

The Case of the Silent Dog

Telegrammed by 221b Baker Street
'I say, Holmes, what do you make of the mysterious case of the falling West Coast Main Line catenary?

'Watson, you will of course have noted the significance of the Office of Rail Regulation's pontification on this matter.'

'But Holmes, ORR has said nothing!'

'That, Watson, is the significance'

Ghost bus

This from The Times...

"The 'ghost bus' runs simply to allow the Government to escape the embarrassment of admitting that it has closed several sections of railway in West London to passenger trains."

Network Rail did a splendid job yesterday of closing the rest...

Ozymandi'm back again

Thought for the day

As a 110 mile/h TSR is imposed on the WCML fast lines between Euston and Rugby, Iain (WCML Job Done) Coucher might recall these lines of Kipling:

Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre.

Mystic Wright

This in today's FT...

Virgin demands rail reliability

A spot of prescient reporting by Mr Wright.

The 25kv Group

Telegrammed by 222 Marylebone Road
The current daily, or even twice daily, major failures of the overhead line electrification on the WCML are statistically so improbable that they cannot be attributed to normal maintenance errors.

Interestingly they are clustered at the southern end of the route.

Conspiracy theorists suggest that the cause may be sabotage!

Perhaps by a renegade group of DafT civil servants with the dual aim of discrediting electrification and justifying investment in the ludicrous dual powered IEP?

UPDATE: Tom from Blairwatch writes...

Nonsense.

It's Boris Johnson and his transport team campaigning to discredit those nasty bendy foreign trains preparatory to holding a competition to design a 21st century Britannia Pacific.

Perhaps the Tornado team need to clear their diaries...

An end to electrification woes

Telegrammed by Barry Spotter
Worried about pulling down the wires?

Concerned that you might have to rebuild dozens of bridges and lower the floors of tunnels?

Well worry no more, for the Southern has the answer!

It's the all-old, all-tried, tested and almost-nearly-sometimes completely reliable in snow and ice Juice Rail!

Why spend silly money on dangling bits of 25Kv-fed wire across the scenery when you can keep drivers and track-workers nervous for longer with 750dc on the floor?

Contact the Southern Region General Offices, Waterloo Station, for further details.

Remember - it's sunnier down South!

Electrification - An apology

Railway Eye would like to apologise to readers for past stories that may have given the impression that we believed further electrification of the railway to be a good thing.

Headlines such as 'Diesel disaster', 'Moron of the same' and 'Hoon you're an idiot' may also have led readers to believe that procuring additional diesel vehicles for the network was a bad idea.

In light of yet another complete balls up on the West Coast Mainline this morning Railway Eye now acknowledges that Network Rail and it's contractors couldn't be trusted to run a piss up in a brewery, let alone manage the existing wiring on Britain's most expensive railway.

Therefore it also seems highly unlikely that they would be competent enough to preside over an expansion of electrified route miles.

Railway Eye apologises for any confusion previous articles may have caused.

Park and robbed

The Fact Compiler's brother, The Timetable Compiler, has been in touch.

Reuben, for it is he, writes:

"It's not just fares that are going up by inflation busting amounts!

"Yesterday car parking charges at Peterborough station went up by a whopping 20%.

"Which means an annual car park permit has gone up by £216 from £1,080 to £1,296!"

Thank goodness car park charges aren't regulated.

When you're doomed every penny counts!

Dining out?

A Happy New Year to National Express East Coast passengers as the company slashes the number of restaurant car services.

This from the Yorkshire Post:

"Just two morning southbound trains and a handful of evening services from London will continue to host restaurant cars. Otherwise first-class ticket holders will be able to buy fish pie or crayfish and chorizo risotto to eat at their seats."

This, of course, despite promises from Richard Bowker that traditional railway dining would be safe in his hands.

No matter.

If you're broke you've got to reduce costs and maximise revenue!

The Fact Compiler suspects the fury over the reduction in restaurant cars will be as nothing compared to that when NXEC starts charging for seat reservations!

Limited and questionable?

The first foot in mouth award for 2009 goes to the LibDems.

Railway Eye readers may recollect that former rail minister Tom Harris was on record as having monthly meetings with 'amateur railway enthusiasts'.

Unfortunately LibDem Transport spokesman Norman Baker MP has taken to insulting them.

This from yesterday's Daily Mail:

"Trainspotting may be an activity of limited, and indeed questionable, appeal, but it is not a criminal offence and it is not a terrorist threat."

Looks like the LibDems have lost the industry vote.

Primrose Hole

It's good to see some old railway traditions continue to survive in the Age of Change.

Like surreptitiously demolishing stations to prevent their future use.

Nicely done NR!

So what?

Good news for Buffhoon and Co.

According to today's Standard the toothless Transport Select Committee is thinking about holding an inquiry into recent fares increases.

What a wonderful opportunity for the Government to show its continued contempt for Parliament.

Nuspeak

Telegrammed by Eboracum (50A)

Railway Eye's free cut-out-n-keep industry definitions for use in 2009:

Barrier - Device for ensuring you definitely miss the train

Bonus - Large sum of money given to director regardless of competence

Bus - Inevitable alternative transport – see Network Rail engineering schedule for details

Christmas - Biblical holiday when the railway sleeps

Dinner - Sandwich and bag of crisps if you are lucky

Director - Fat bloke in suit with lots of money

Driver - Grumpy bloke who sits in the front of the train and ignores passengers

Fare - Thing that increases faster than rabbits on Viagra – See ‘Bonus’ and ‘Director’

Franchise - Something that disappears faster than Ali Bongo’s rabbit

GNER - (Eastern England trad.) Mythical halcyon concept from past history

Guard - Same as 'Driver' but sits at the back

Seating - Technique for balancing a laptop in you left hand and typing with your right whilst standing in gangway end spilling your coffee

Service - Surly and patronising treatment grudgingly thrust in the direction of passenger by staff member wondering if they will still have a job this time next week

Passenger - Person sitting in car in traffic jam

Timetable - Document detailing the time before which the train will not depart

More please...

UPDATE: Two from The Major...

Possession - (NR internal) Nine tenths of the law

Seat - (Obsolete) Place of comfort at which passengers received service

More please...

TOC graveyard

Good news for anyone brave enough to bid when the East Coast Mainline franchise is re-let.

As National Express East Coast builds on the success of GNER (shurely heads to the same graveyard. Ed), the Eye understands that DafT policy wonks are already working up a new, improved, specification.

Welcome to the first seven year franchise with a break point after just two years.