Lookalike XVII - Ride on Time Megamix

Push-bike Peer was the 'good news' piece in yesterday's Evening Standard.

So it seems churlish not to offer the following...

Wolmar, of course, has been banging on about station cycle facilities since before God was a boy.

Perhaps Adonis should take him on as an advisor?

UPDATE: This from the Globetrotter...

Thursday night was DafT’s ‘meet the minister’ drinks reception for the media – everyone was there, from Railway Gazette and Local Transport Today via Bloomberg to Sky News and the Sun!

About 20 mins in, Adonis comes striding into the room, which was gradually filling up with assorted hacks and dozens of DfT press officers, minders, etc.

After quickly shaking hands with all the guests, he makes a bee-line for friend Xian and takes him into the corner for an animated half-hour discussion on cycling policy.

Eye's tongue in cheek suggestions that Wolmar might be appointed as an advisor may not be so far fetched...

NXEC reposition deck chairs

One piece of good news from beleaguered National Express East Coast.

Sources suggest that the instruction has gone out "Fill all vacancies".

Old franchise hands will recognise this as the TOC equivalent of 'Man the lifeboats'.

Can a cost plus contract be far behind?

Pinky and the Brain

NR's Internet Rapid Rebuttal Unit has been very quiet recently.

The reason why is now clear.

PJ and co have obviously been busy in another place.

This from Edinburgh North MP, Mark Lazarowicz, during today's Transport Questions...

"In bidding for the franchise, National Express knowingly took a commercial risk and should not be able to just 'walk away' now, but if the franchise is handed back, the East Coast line should be run by Network Rail not put out to tender again."

The Fact Compiler's flabber is truly gasted at the very thought!

UPDATE: This from the Velopodist...

I think Mr Lazarowicz will find there are a number of problems with having Network Rail running InterCity East Coast, among them the competition implications and the fact they wouldn't know how to do it.

But probably the biggest is this: Network Rail's licence prohibits it from running any trains, so much so that it has to employ someone else to drive the measurement trains.

So a juicy long-distance franchise looks out of the question.

WCML squabbles continue

Telegrammed by the Archer
From Virgin’s presentation at yesterday’s Railway Strategies Supply Chain conference:

"Current performance is dominated by infrastructure failures, with 75% of recent performance caused by Network Rail and 15% by Virgin."

Unfortunately, as Virgin had the afternoon 'graveyard' slot Network Rail's contingent had already left the building, after of course they had used their morning slot to explain how investment is meeting NR's current business needs.

Funnily enough they failed to mention the business needs of their customers...

Poop poop! The case for Mr Toad...

This just in from Waterbaby...

Might I offer a different view to that repeated in yesterday's Eye piece on the Virgin/Alstom 'pit stop' event at Wembley?

A couple of weeks ago, the 'Eye' appealed for someone (anyone!) to stand up and defend the industry to the wider media in the face of one of the motoring lobby's periodic assaults over funding for roads and railways.

Intemperate outburst about Virgin's attempts to present the railway as a modern, 21st century technology, show we have such a lot to learn.

Does anybody seriously think that the travelling public doesn't appreciate F1 motor racing for what it is - an exercise in contrived decadence?

I doubt Virgin/Alstom will be receiving too many letters of complaint suggesting they have betrayed rail's green credentials.

I actually applaud Virgin for still having the chutzpah and (with all the downs and, er, downs since 1997) enthusiasm to do such things, it gets the railway noticed in an unusual and glamorous way.

In Italy, on the other hand, Ferrari F1 team President, Luca di Montezemolo, is behind the NTV high speed open-access operation, set to launch in 2011 and what is more NTV's Alstom AGVs will be blood red too!

Would the moaning minnies sampling this 300+km/h service, reject it on the grounds of 'silliness'?

On a wider point, it worries me that any attempt at positive PR risks being dismissed by a cynical 'old guard' as a stunt.

How does this encourage younger recruits onto the railway?

The sooner we all recognise the importance of branding, image and, yes, PR/spin in making rail's case, the better.

I accept Virgin should be spending most of its time trying to get NR to sort the West Coast... but on this occasion, perhaps unusually, the criticism coming its way seems a tad harsh.

Andrew Haines to CAA

You can't beat a good railwayman.

This from the Department for Transport with a bowler tip to I work for First Great Western...

"The Secretary of State for Transport, Andrew Adonis, has appointed Andrew Haines as the Chief Executive of the Civil Aviation Authority."

So now aviation depends on the railways!

Mike Brown (nee LUL) running Heathrow, Steve Peat (nee Tube Lines) at BAA's other aerodromes and now Andrew at the CAA.

You flyboys have no idea what's about to hit you...

Network Rail guilty of Water Boarding!

Drip, drip, drip - the sound of confidence draining away.

This from Nigel Hawkins over at AdamSmith.org...

Efficiency levels within Network Rail remain unimpressive and its governance regime resembles that of the 1960s water boards.

Restoring confidence in NRs dire corporate governance will be the first job of Rick Haythornthwaite, when he becomes Chairman in July.

Insiders expect board meetings to be stormy!

Level playing field?

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Now that Lord Adonis is responsible for all transport, and not just railways, can we expect him to embark on a seven day coach tour of the British Isles?

No double Richard Bowker would sell him a pass to the National Express Coach network?

Or is the charabanc just too declasse?

RMoL goes over the top

It's hot Carruthers, too damned hot.

Try to keep the men cool and away from Virgin PR events - you know how it unsettles them

Too late sir! I'm afraid Corporal Sim's gone over the top with the Bren...

"Formula 1 is a silly activity... there is no need whatever for any part of the railway industry to join their games."

Good show Carruthers, a mention in despatches for that man.

MR loses face?

Good to see that the grown-up railway media can also upset its readers.

The latest issue of Modern Railways contains a letter from a Taku Tamaki accusing the mag of jumping onto the 'protectionist bandwagon'.

So incencsed was he that he also cancelled his subscription.

At least Dr Tamaki practices what he preaches and lives in the UK.

Rather than, by way of example, somewhere like... Japan.

Which is of course one of the most protectionist domestic railway markets in the world.

Lipservice to level crossing safety?

Tomorrow is International Level Crossing Awareness Day.

No, nor did Eye.

Network Rail has started sending out press releases to remind people of the death toll from level crossing abuse:

European Country/Total number of persons killed by level-crossing accidents in 2008

Hungary 118
Germany 52
Czech Republic 43
Romania 42
Poland 40
France 38
Latvia 27
Austria 25
The Netherlands 18
Spain 17
Portugal 17
Slovakia 17
Great Britain 15

But still the national infrastructure operator and RSSB cannot be bothered to create a dedicated website promoting safe use of level crossings.

One that could command pan industry support, involving NR, RSSB, TOCs, Heritage Railways, DafT, the BTP, the Highways Agency, schools, community groups, etc...

Something along the lines of Operation Lifesaver in Canada and the US.

Is it stubbornness or a 'not invented here' syndrome that stops them doing this?

Fingers out chaps and get on with it.

Cooling the Tube

***Diamond Geezer on the myths of Cooling the Tube, with a bowler tip to Boriswatch***

RMT doing the day job

The London Living Wage for Underground cleaners?

Seems fair enough, it's a dirty shitty job and £7.60 an hour in London is not unreasonable.

Especially when it's already been promised...



More of this please RMT and less of the Cuba nonsense.

Talyllyn restructures

***UK.Railway reporting that the Talyllyn has lost its General Manager due to the railway's "serious ongoing financial problems"***

Cuban heels

Good news from 'Crow Bar' Bob and the RMT:

RMT GENERAL secretary Bob Crow will be joined by Alabama 3, Aleida Guevara (Che Guevara’s daughter), Labour movement legend Tony Benn and a host of other... (windbags? Ed) this Wednesday evening for the 7th Annual RMT Cuba Garden Party which this year will mark the 50th anniversary of the Cuban revolution.

And what a celebration it will be.

Just look at what 50 years of communist dictatorship have achieved on Cuba's railways.


Note the high level of crashworthiness and train crew protection afforded to RMT's brothers and sisters in Fidel's island paradise.

Presumably Bob and co will take the opportunity to speak out about this scandal at Wednesday's do?

Nah, thought not.

UPDATE: This from the Velopodist...

The RMT of course won't be raising any issues about Cuba's problems because, like so many of my less imaginative fellows on the left of the political spectrum, they attribute them all to the US economic embargo.

It's kind of a back-handed compliment to the robust health of capitalism when you think about it, isn't it?

But the thing that really stinks about their event is the presence of a real-life Cuban citizen who has, presumably, travelled to London specially for the event.

You can tell she's a member of the country's elite because they let her leave.

Her less fortunate counterparts are so desperate that they'll use any leaky raft to try to get to the United States, whose supposedly inferior system Ms Guevara will presumably be roundly criticising.

UPDATE: This from Graveshafter...

Sorry!

Crashworthiness and traincrew protection?

At least that Cuban rustbucket doesn't carry passengers.

Unlike Pacers.

Where are RMT with these a mere ten years after the event?

Network Rail Public Membership

Applications to join NR's 'Stepford Wives' closed on the 12th June.

The Membership Selection Panel (MSP) hopes to write in the week commencing 27 July 2009 to inform applicants whether or not they have been invited to the Candidate Workshops.

Our man at 222 Marylebone Road, the Independent Expert, Dreadnought, Leo Pink, The Major, etc... all await the call with anticipation.

Unsurprisingly none have rushed to clear their diaries yet...

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
What a soft job speech writers have at the Department for Transport.

All they have to do is dig out an old speech and change a couple of initials around.

This top secret draft of Lord Adonis' talk to the Fourth Friday club has reached the Eye from an anonymous source:

"As an organisation, XX combines the classic shortcomings of the traditional nationalised industry.

"It is an entrenched monopoly. That means too little responsiveness to customers' needs, whether passenger or freight; no real competition; and too little diversity and innovation.

"Inevitably, it also has the culture of a nationalised industry: a heavily bureaucratic structure; an insufficiently sharp awareness on the part of employees that their success depends on satisfying the customer - indeed, on attracting more customers; and an instinctive tendency to ask for more taxpayers' subsidy and to feel that public subsidy will always be there as a crutch whenever things look difficult..."

Can Eye readers guess which of Lord Adonis' predecessors first uttered these words and when?

A new era unfurls #3

Good news for the West Coast Main Line.

According to Transport Briefing yesterday:

Network Rail is to pump a further £50m into the West Coast Route Modernisation amid mounting embarrassment that the line is the most unreliable in Britain despite a £9bn upgrade.

Interestingly a reader suggests that as at 15:30 yesterday Virgin's press office were completely unsighted on the plans.

No matter.

Meanwhile delays look set to get worse before they get better.

Apparently Network Rail are to replace 290 sets of points that were not replaced during the original upgrade!

The announcement of the extra spend is perhaps unfortunate, especially as NR has already committed £2.4m on a splendid advertising campaign to tell us how the project had been succesfully completed.

All of which inevitably draws attention back to the thorny issue of Network Rail bonuses.

The Eye gave credit to Coucher for surrendering his annual bonus, but now fears that this may not be enough.

As the WCML Upgrade is turning into a costly farce for TOCs and taxpayer alike can Network Rail really reward its already well renumerated directors with bonuses running into six figures?

Bonuses which will be seen, even if unfairly, as a reward for failure.

UPDATE: This just in from J Alfred Prufrock...

If Network Rail spends £50 million on the Worst Corporately Managed Line because people caused a fuss then perhaps ORR's fines need to be recalibrated to get serious action.

How about adding a nought to the number 1200 grade* first thought of.

*1200 grade is the smoothest and least abrasive Emery paper.

No good deed goes unpunished!

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
Chile, having stood by Britain during the Falklands War, is now being targeted for retribution by the Foreign & Commonwealth Office - which would rather the Islands had been taken off the bottom line and handed back to the Argies.

A crack team of accountants, lawyers and regulators is being sent to Chile to persuade them that they ought to follow Britain's example and privatise their railways.

Leading this elite force will be Michael ('Mad Mike') Beswick packing considerable 'heat' in the form of the Treasury's new Mk4A (enhanced) Power Point presentation which is alleged to provide a totally convincing explanation as to why paying five times as much for your railways is a small price to pay for the benefits of privatisation.

If this fails, no doubt the FCO will parachute in Lady Shriti (Grannies) Vadera to help explain why it is such a good idea to have "thinly capitalised equity profiteers of the worst kind" running Chilean rail services.

That will teach them!

Chinese take-away

***RMT saying MTR out of bidding for Tyne and Wear metro***