Mediaballs - Grauniad on Dave's China jolly

This from the Gruaniad...

China wants involvement in Britain's first high-speed rail line and an increased role in civil nuclear power, the country's premier said in Beijing after talks with David Cameron on the first day of the prime minister's visit.

Hmmm... admittedly UK PLC may be a little behind the People's Republic on high speed rail but Li Keqiang may find a clue in the new railway's title: HS2.

No matter.

Meanwhile, there is one area where Britain could certainly learn from our Chinese friends.

An equally robust approach to our own former railway ministers would do much pour encourager les autres!

Pointless signs - Woking

This from Henry Hassocks...

One hopes its convalescence was properly completed before returning to duty…

All bets are ons for a unified railway

The Department for Transport, a clarification...

Regular readers may have gained the impression that Railway Eye has less than the very highest regard for the Permanent Secretary and team at the Department for Transport.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

Headlines such as You're all bloody useless!, Marsham Street couldn't organise a soiree in a brewery! and Fire the lot of them! were merely motivational posts, designed to shine a light upon the intellectual powerhouse and strategic acumen that resides in Great Minster House.

In fact Eye would go further and say that the very best possible outcome for the railway would be for Philip Rutnam to have direct oversight of both infrastructure and operators, so that the entire industry can face in one direction, led by a single guiding mind.

In Eye's view this is a statistical certainty and cannot happen soon enough! (Will this do? Ed).

Hammond Eggs - I've got a little secret

As Leonard Cohen used to sing: I've got a little secret!

A tune evidently close to the heart of Eye favourite Stephen 'Gone-native' Hammond, as evidenced by this written answer given on the 26th November: 

Kate Hoey: To ask the Secretary of State for Transport pursuant to the answer of 4 November 2013, Official Report, column 45W, on railways: south west, for what reasons lease costs for rolling stock are considered to be commercially sensitive. 

Stephen Hammond: The leasing costs for rolling stock are the result of negotiations between two private sector commercial entities, the train operating company and the rolling stock leasing company. Putting such information in the public sphere would give advantage to each party's competitors and hinder future negotiations between such commercial entities throughout the industry. 

Hmm... Advantage and Hinder?

Surely the name of an act in this year's DfT Christmas panto?

No matter!

Of course the real hindrance 'to future negotiations' on allocation of scarce trains is done by DfT's random-rolling-stock-cascade-generator, which inhibits the effective operation of the entire train leasing market.

A point made transparently clear from section 25 on page 9 of the summary section of the Competition Commission's 2007 'Rolling Stock Leasing market investigation'. 

Go figure!

IEA's Wellings boots commuters off seats

The friend of railway users across the nation has offered its latest wheeze to delight regular travellers.

Not content with providing spurious costings for HS2, the Institute of Economic Affairs latest brainwave is to call for less seats on trains (Less seats? Try fewer pounds in your pocket! You're fired!!! Ed)

According to the Metro...

Seats should be ripped out on the most overcrowded train services to create cheaper, standing-only carriages, a report suggests.
The return to third-class travel would see passengers pay up to 20 per cent less than in standard class, under the Institute of Economic Affairs proposal.

Head of transport Dr Richard Wellings said: ‘For too long, the government has squandered taxpayers’ money on the wrong transport projects and failed to deliver value for commuters."

Forcing more passengers to stand? A novel way to 'deliver value for commuters'.

HS2 opponents converted... possibly

Good news for fans of the new North - South Railway.

Today's small demonstration in Parliament Square against the vital project even witnessed some Damascene conversions!

The lady on the left is apparently conveying the message that High Speed One is a success.

Whilst her colleague on the right, evidently won over by capacity arguments, is making the internationally recognised symbol demanding a second High Speed route, or something...

People, let's try and respect deeply held views out there...

UPDATE: This from @TransportNathan...

@TheFactCompiler very good. I thought the lady on the right was perhaps endorsing the Y shape of the route
— TransportNathan (@TransportNathan) November 25, 2013

Possibly so!

Churchill and HS2 - a lesson in brevity

So. The Government has published the HS2 Bill for phase 1 of the new North - South Railway.

According to the National Farmers Union...

The record-breaking 55,000-page Bill details exactly what ministers want to build and what the expected impact on the environment might be.

Fifty five thousand pages?

Compare and contrast!

Courtesy of the Imperial War Museum, here is Churchill's 1942 memo on the construction of another project with national significance - the Mulberry Harbours for D-Day:

Less really is more!

UPDATE: This from Deep Stoat...

55,000 pages. Certainly not our idea.

But less than 60 protestors standing in Parliament Square, versus the 4000 people standing on trains into Euston this morning?

Now there's a number we want to bring down.

As Winston frequently said... "we must just KBO!"

UPDATE: This from Lord Derby-Bypass...
 
Deep Stoat makes the case for HS2 based on the '4000 people standing on trains into Euston'.

And quite right too.

But isn't it supposed to 'balance the economy' by creating jobs in the Midlands and North?

Rather than help get even more workers into 'The Smoke'?

Pointless signs - EMT cl153

This apparently from Barrett Homes...

Noted on an East Midlands Trains Class 153 Sandbox Lid at Lincoln earlier this year. 

Why would anyone think to use anything other than 'dry sand' or do E.M.T. consider their Fitters to be somewhat challenged? 

Speaking as a former Railway Fitter it makes me wonder. 

UPDATE: This from Dogboxdriver...

The signs were fitted after a number of EMT's 15x units were failed by drivers during preparation over the last year owing to non-working sanders.

The reason for the non-working sanders? 

You got it: they'd been filled with wet sand...

Siemens confirms Deutschland über alles!

This from Siemens...

In an email headed: Change of location for Siemens plc's Rail Systems Division from Westminster to Euston, we discover...

Siemens' new home at 24 Eversholt Street is of course better known to old railway hands as Euston House, the former HQ of the British Railways Board!

With one symbolic action the German takeover of Britain's railways is now complete.
 

Scotrail on making an impression

This from Flora McDonald...
 
From the ScotRail draft ITT:

"The train should contain appropriate tourist information, in an ambience that promotes the local heritage, scenery and tourist attractions with the aim of capturing the imagination of and leaving an impression of Scotland on the passenger."

Perhaps a saltire shaped lump in every seat cushion?

Mediaballs - Metro on Chester

This from the Metro, referring to the buffer shunt at Chester today...

The 10.10am service from London Euston completely failed to stop at the station and partially derailed, smashing into the buffers.

Hmmm...

Perhaps a case of 'completely' hyperbole 'reporting'?

Transport Scotland inventibold new lingua - deep joy

This from The Man by the Photocopier...

 

So Transport Scotland have unveiled their exciting plans for the next ScotRail franchise!

 

Alas, it already looks to have become distressingly derailed in the Editor’s Notes.

 

Apparently, the contract will include a ‘Commitment to taking an innovative approach, true to Scotland’s innovative and entrepreneurial history, to propelling solutions to improved wifi access on trains alongside industry peers.’

 

What language is that? Lowland Scots? Gaelic? It certainly isn’t English.

 

Of course! It’s Management Gobbledegook!

 

Trebles, ahem, wee drams all round, then.

Pointless signs - Kiveton Park

This from a Mr Norman Collier... 

Pointless and USELESS signs!

This is on the gate to the UP platform - needless to say the phone is on the DOWN platform.

'Simples'?  Apparently not!

 

What has privatisation ever done for us...

The Fact Compiler's latest column in Passenger Transport published on the 15th November...

The next edition of Passenger Transport is published on the 22nd November.

Just 120 seconds to deliver a 7 day railway

This from a Mr Antonio Kilometer... 

From Southern’s press release last week about its winter timetable... 

“There are two last Monday to Saturday trains which will leave earlier than in the previous timetable. These are the 23:47 London Victoria to Horsham service which will leave Victoria at 23.40 and the 23.49 London Victoria to Oxted service which will leave Victoria at 23.47. The early departure of these services will allow Network Rail to carry out vital maintenance and minor repairs overnight on the Brighton Main Line. This frees up track access on Sundays so that three services per hour between Victoria and Brighton can now be maintained all year round.” 

So I make that an extra 2 minutes a night for NR to carry out all this “vital maintenance and minor repair” work - that will keep the route open all day on Sunday. 

Network Rail is to be congratulated on achieving such dramatic efficiencies well in advance of CP5.

HS1 does its very best to drive freight from rail

This from Rich Tea... 

As HS1 consult on increasing freight track charges by some 450% their owners, Ontario Teacher’s Pension Fund, have just bought the maker of – yes, you guessed – Wagon Wheels.

Evidently, flicking two sticky fingers at the freighties is very much the rapacious Canucks game.

Creagh outlines Labour Transport priorities

This from the Grauniad...

Creagh has previously refused to rule out renationalisation of UK railways, and said the franchising model has led to a fragmented network which consumers find difficult to navigate. Labour opposed the refranchising of the East coast mainline, and Creagh said that by pursuing "the franchise model at all costs" the government's political orthodoxy is holding back the UK. "I think it's extraordinary that the government is allowing the German, French and Dutch states to come in and bid for that railway franchise. It's got no objection to state ownership of our railways as long as it's not UK state ownership."

More here.

Deep Alliance - the railway at prayer

An Eye spy in Wiltshire has sent the following intriguing image.

Pictured deep in meditation is SWT/Wessex Route supremo Tim Shoveller, after having met Winchester passengers on Thursday night.

Is Tim seeking forgiveness, or Divine inspiration on how to take the Deep Alliance into CP5?

The last word on Pacers...

This from the Shadow Minister for Transport...

A bus pretending to be a train. & not one of @alextrentbarton's classy ones. But its warm ta @northernrailorg #pacer pic.twitter.com/r4Emt9FoIn
— Lilian Greenwood (@LilianGreenwood) November 15, 2013

Yep, seems about right.

Now all that's missing is an undertaking to replace them!

RDG disconnected from the industry it 'leads'?

This was just asking for trouble.

Earlier this week Transport Minister Baroness Kramer observed that dumping raw effluent on the tracks was "utterly disgusting".

Quite so.

So what are we to make of this from the BBC...

The Rail Delivery Group, which represents the train companies and Network Rail, said the issue did not come up in a bi-annual national passenger survey and it was not often raised as an issue by staff.

Hmmm...

This from the RMT:

RMT has also completely refuted suggestions from within the industry that the issue has either never, or rarely, been raised as the union has been campaigning on the scandal for at least decade and passengers have now launched their own petition to get it stamped out.

Track workers have repeatedly pointed out that some sections of the rail infrastructure are like an open sewer and that the human waste doesn’t simply hit the track bed, it sprays out when trains are travelling at speed posing a serious and disgusting health risk to track-based staff. Rail works have been delayed because staff have been confronted with pools of raw sewage.

Either the RDG has a very short memory or none at all. 

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

And not just track workers are at risk.

Changing brake pads is a really sh*tt* job when the bogies have been covered by an  aerosol of excrement.

And do passengers opening slam doors on Mk 3 stock realise that the external handles have received the same treatment.?

Didn't Angel propose a major IC125 upgrade which included retrofitting retention tank toilets almost a decade ago?

A shame DfT decided it wasn't worthwhile because the trains wouldn't be in service much longer.