Selling England by the pound

Timing, as they say, is everything.

Oh happy circumstance!

Whilst Brown was bonding today with Obama who should finally be announced as the £400m Project Delivery Partner for Crossrail but... US mega firm Bechtel!

Now we know the price of the Special Relationship, it would be interesting to understand precisely what Gordon has secured from Barrack in return.

If it doesn't result in a very large number of "British Jobs for British Workers" then be assured Gordon - it's your pension they'll be after next!

Rudi... a message for you...

The Fact Compiler is unsure whether this is an All Fools' Day spoof or not.

According to the Liverpool Echo...

MERSEYRAIL will give away 10,000 pairs of flip flops to footsore racegoers after Ladies’ Day at Aintree.

The flip flops – branded with the Merseyrail logo – will be handed out by volunteers to women waiting to catch their trains from Aintree station on Friday, and on the day of the Grand National itself.

Either way it doesn't matter.

As the PR who placed the story tipped off the Eye, it gets in!

Good effort the PR team at Merseyrail!

Lager mentality

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Are stories about the recession a load of old rubbish?

Overheard on today's largely empty 11:30 Euston to Glasgow.

Rubbish collector to Train Manager: "Well you can tell passenger numbers are going down. Less and less rubbish on the train, not much work to do today. And the working classes aren't travelling - there's hardly any lager cans down the back of the seat."

Memo to Gordon Brown: Instead of the Retail Price Index as a guide to the recession, how about the Virgin Rubbish Production Index?

Arise Sir Kevin?

This from the Oakham Rambler...

As a former practitioner in the art of spin, I agree that Network Rail’s spinmeister-in-chief Kevin Groves deserves a pat on the back for persuading Evening Standard veteran hack Dick Murray to write an-all-too-rare positive story about railways (Network Rail promises £35bn rail revolution, Standard front page 31 March).

However, before prematurely bestowing upon cool-hand Kev the title of PR manager of the decade, let’s wait and see how he handles the media feeding frenzy that will undoubtedly follow the impending announcement of fat-cat bonuses for Notwork Rail directors.

If Kev-the-spin can persuade the baying pack that Coucher and co. deserve a top-up to their already inflated salaries, he will be due a knighthood.

And not just a knighthood. If he can pull off the PR equivalent of raising the Titanic then he should bill Iain for half his bonus as well!

All quiet on the bonus front

***Silence is Golden - as indeed are bonuses***

All change at Crossrail

This from NCE...

Doug Oakervee will step down from his role as Crossrail executive chairman today, but will not be in the office as he is fulfilling jury service commitments. London and Continental boss Rob Holden takes over tomorrow.

From Wednesday, Oakervee will take up his new post of Non-Executive Chairman.

And the Project Delivery Partner is...

Don't forget your Tiffin Box

It gets worse!

First on train catering hits the wall.

Now the station caterer of choice is accused of being over leveraged!

One piece of good news.

At least carriage seats won't need to get any bigger.

Parting gift

This from Thameslink Tommy...

"The surprise departure of Elaine Holt, our highly regarded MD, quickly circulated around the industry. Judging from the response, you were as shocked as we were.

"Of course First has form; Long, Haines, Forster... But it also looks after it's own. So despite yesterday's announcement Elaine remains in place till Friday.

"One of her final duties this week was to oversee the transfer of maintenance at Hornsey Depot from Bombardier to FCC's own in-house team.

"So even on her way out she leaves the TOC a better place. We shall miss her!"

The Fact Compiler is intrigued.

Fleet owner HSBC Rail would have needed to agree this change in the 365s' maintenance regime.

Is all not well between Montréal and Shanghai?

Brunelballs

Using your skill and judgement spot the difference between these two quotes:

Iain Coucher: "Network Rail is ready to unleash the biggest expansion since the age of Brunel."

Andrew Lezala: "Brunel left his mark imprinted on our lives in numerous ways... the Herculean task that we are undertaking at Metronet might even be comparable."

Then in no more than 500 words explain why they received completely different treatment by the Evening Standard.

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

Actually Brunel didn't build a lot of railway when compared with the Stephensons and Locke. And five years before his death the total railway network amounted to only 6,000 miles - half today's route mileage.

Perhaps Iain Coucher should take George Hudson as his exemplar if he and his spinmeisters are trying to revive railway mania in the 21st Century ?

Jarvis news

Jarvis Pre Close Trading Statement

Operating costs in the 2009/2010 financial year will be reduced to reflect the lower demand for Rail and Plant services. It is expected that the associated restructuring will result in approximately 450 redundancies across various depots and locations.

Where did it all go wrong?

Too clever by half

Good news for the Department for Transport

This celebratory press release reaches The Fact Compiler from National Express East Coast:

TWELVE railway stations on the East Coast Main Line have been awarded a national security rating

The Secure Stations scheme is a Government-backed initiative aimed at improving personal security at railway stations.

National Express East Coast’s head of stations Anna Heathcote said: “Our customers should feel safe and secure at all times. This important accreditation is the result of a lot of hard work by our employees, in partnership with the transport police.

Good news indeed.

Especially for York and Darlington both winners of the award.

So with such high standards of security in evidence presumably My Lord Adonis and Dicky Bowker will now backtrack on their expensive, unnecessary and unpopular gating proposals?

Move over Ali Campbell

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Kevin Groves is little less than a God!!

Anyone who can persuade feared Standard Transport Corr Dick Murray that a miserly regulatory settlement which Network Rail nearly rejected is really a:

£35billion rail revolution

And splash it as a front page lead has to be in the running for PR Manager of the Year if not the Decade.

But what is this master persuader, who puts Ali Campbell in the shade, still doing at NR?

Any day now we expect an announcement that he has been called in by DafT to re-spin the 1300 vehicles disaster.

That will be a real challenge!

We are not amused

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Vanished Victoriana - The mystery deepens.

Regular Eye readers may recall how, just before Christmas, Network Rail bulldozers mysteriously blitzed the splendid Victorian buildings of north London's Primrose Hill station on the eve of a campaign by local residents to get it reopened.

What happened to the splendid Victorian ironwork, worth thousands in the railwayana or architectural salvage markets?

Was it flogged down the pub?

Is it adorning someone's back garden?

Now the current issue of the local paper, the Camden New Journal, reports that local MP "Big Frank" Dobson is getting involved.

Dobbo is seeking more information about the debacle. Who authorised the demolition? Who in Transport for London was consulted? Why were local people, ignored? Where has all the heritage gone?

It's not just Dobbo and the locals who are seeking answers.

The incoming Tory government have got NR and its unaccountable ways in their gunsights.

If someone doesn't fess up, this could be more a case for Inspector Knacker than Miss Marple.

For you the railway is over...

This from the BBC...

The head of Germany's railway company, Deutsche Bahn, has offered to resign after the company admitted spying on thousands of its employees.

Old habits die hard.

Virgin poo-poo smell solution

Telegrammed by our Independent Expert
Wolmar, in the current issue of Rail, turns up his nose at stinky Pendolino lavatories.

Now further intelligence reaches the Eye from the state-of-the-art cleaning company invited to inspect problems at Oxley.

"The problem was that Virgin and train maker Alstom blamed each other. And they said there was not enough turn round time for a proper deep clean of the coach and vestibule floor areas.

"We could have done the job but they just seemed to want to brush it under the carpet."

Perhaps this explains the continued stink?

Welcome back British Rail

Good to see the Department getting its ducks in a row.

This from DafT's recently issued OJEU for an Operator of Last Resort...

Due to the uncertainty of Operator of Last Resort (OoLR) plans being activated (i.e. whether any TOCs, and, if so, how many, would require the DfT to step in to maintain services), it is difficult to estimate a total figure should the Department require support.

Perhaps the Eye can help.

All of the TOCs (yes, each and everyone) have approached DafT about easing of franchise terms.

Pendolino at maximum tilt?

(LNW) At 2200, as Virgin Pendolino unit No. 390006 was being shunted from the wheel lathe onto the Down Carriage line at Wembley Carriage Sidings South, the signaller at Carriage Sidings South signalbox inadvertently moved CS4 points under the unit, thereby causing an irregular movement, and resulting in the unit becoming derailed by two bogies, fouling the Down & Up Carriage lines and colliding with Pendolino unit No. 390008, the latter of which at the time was stationary on the Up Carriage line, having arrived at 2151 per 5A78, HF, 2135 London Euston – Wembley Carriage Sidings. Upon observing the approaching unit, the driver of unit No. 390008 jumped clear, and was badly shaken. The force of impact resulted in unit No. 390008 leaning at a 45 degree angle.

Which brings to three the number of 390's damaged by NR - how long before there are none left?

UPDATE: This from an expert...

If the signaller was able to move the points, they can't have been locked by track circuits.

Unusual at such a place with power operated points.

31422
signalman

...or we'll shoot your dog

Good news for Guide Dogs, the visually impaired, the RSPCA, PETA and the like.

The Battle of the Barriers continues and latest into the fray are concerned dog owners.

This from an irate caninophile...

"One practical problem with barriers is the risk to Mans Best Friend - judging by what nearly happened to us at Leeds last month!

"The barrier design has the barriers shooting out from either side as opposed to the older type which fold back when you go through, then return shut.

"If your dog is on a lead in front, or behind you, it risks getting guillotined, Indiana Jones style, as soon as the machine reads a person has passed through the gates.

"The bigger the dog, the bigger the danger of injury.

"Ours is a small dog so he was more shocked than injured, but it caused one hell of a commotion and considerable upset to all involved!"

Does DPTAC have a view on the Battle of the Barriers?

All change at TfL?

The Eye wonders whether Mystic Wolmar picked up his celebrated powers from his stint at the Independent.

Way back in April '08 The Indie ran a story claiming that Daniel Moylan, chairman of the London Councils' Transport and Environment Committee and deputy leader of Kensington and Chelsea council, would be the next chairman of TfL.

Alas the story came to nothing.

However, according to TfL sources all that may be about to change...

UPDATE: The Eye is grateful to 'City Hall Insider' for this...

Well as he is now Deputy Chairman he may well be running TfL in all but name.

If you look at the example of the Metropolitan Police Authority, Boris Johnson chairs the meeting but leaves the Deputy Kit Malthouse to do all the work.

Doesn't leave much for Peter to do...

Bodice ripper

Telegrammed by the late Barbara Cartland
Why is Cruella de Villiers getting so hung up about the bonus paid to Iain Coucher at Network Rail, a man whose chiselled features and brooding eyes make him the obvious model for the cover of my next book 'Love in the four foot', alongside Theresa with her dramatic profile and flowing auburn locks.

She should be comforting this hero of our times, assailed on all sides as he is by Regulators, soi-disant 'Lords', railway pressure groups and now by the lovely Theresa herself .

Can't she see the sadness in a man who has to drag himself out of bed in the morning to do a hum-drum job made bearable only by the prospect of earning an extra £500k if he does the very best he can?

Though I say it myself, the reconciliation of these two tragic figures in the last chapter of 'Love in the four foot' is one of the most moving I have ever dictated.