No smoke without Ire

Good to see that the railway is showing its traditional contempt for the passenger.

First ATOC threw smokers off platforms for no good reason now Network Rail at Waterloo has gone one better - corraling them like cattle.


Presumably this at least prepares them for the journey home with South West Trains.

For Pity's sake can the railway not do better than this for its customers?

What price a canopy and some ash trays?

Smokers may now be social pariahs but they still pay real money.

UPDATE: This from Health and Efficiency...

Smoking is an absolutely disgust... (Owing to shortage of space Eye reserves the right to shorten or edit comments in the interests of clarity.)

UPDATE: This from Ian Rodd (RN) Retd...

The 'new' arrangements for smokers at Waterloo are in fact a long standing (sic) feature, by which NR has tolerated illegal acts on the premises, much in the same way that some cities manage prostitution by having areas where it is tolerated so that the management of the fall-out - in this case 'butts' - is focussed on a single area.

It is a great coincidence that when the ban took effect cycle theft from the adjacent overfilled racks dropped dramatically - so the addicts provide enhanced security on the cheap.

Also the cumbersome structures placed in the roadway to deter terrorist attacks have been removed and there are suggestions that the new security measure is to block the access with concentrated crowd of addicts (or out bacca's) high on nicotine and therefore practically immune to any incoming threat.

People of Essex - No New Trains

Telegrammed by the Archer
What a difference a word makes:

From DfT’s press release on the new Greater Anglia franchise ‘all new rolling stock on the franchise to have CCTV coverage providing more security for passengers’.

(Readers will be aware that Bombardier are due to deliver new trains to both the existing NX franchise and the new franchise, which will be interesting for all concerned)

But on close inspection the corresponding note in the Essex Thameside franchise press release states ‘any new trains on the franchise to have CCTV, providing more security for passengers’

That’s one bidding strategy confirmed then.

NedRail to become Albino

Telegrammed by the Raver
This from NedRail...

NedRailways today announced the launch of its new name, Abellio.

In the annals of meaningless names - Diageo, Accenture, Aviva, Consignia - this surely goes straight to number one.

Apparently Abellio was a Celtic god.

Not unlike this one, which carries a broken wheel and a mighty chopper...


...but that's the Dutch for you.

It's the sort of thing Desmond Morris wrote books about.

UPDATE: This from The Archer, no doubt after a good lunch...

The choice of new name and logo is almost genius, with a double L to signify the rails (or road for the buses) which get you from A to b.

Of course, fellatio has the same double L and is somewhat easier on the tongue.

UPDATE: This from an Anonymous Dutch reader...

Might I suggest ClogTrans?

Eureka - a timetable with no clothes!

A word on today's exciting announcement that the new, improved, East Coast main line timetable will not now be introduced until May 2011.

Yawn!

Remember, you read it all here and here first!

UPDATE: This from our man at 222 Marylebone Road...

A Network Rail spokesman said: "We have been measuring punctuality in the same way since 1996 and no matter how you slice it we are more punctual than ever. There are now more trains on the network. We are certainly better than British Rail ever was."

Today's NR press release says: "The DfT has also asked us to look into the possibility of running a sub-four hour service each weekday from London to Edinburgh and back. We understand the benefits to passengers of reducing journey times, especially on a long-distance route such as the East Coast Main Line, and will always try to make the best use of the capacity available on such a busy route. Over the coming months we will consult with the eight passenger and freight train operators that use the East Coast Main Line to understand what is involved in attempting to introduce sub-four hour services and come to a decision that delivers the most benefits.”

So we'll take that as a 'no' then.

1991 ECML summer timetable, the first after electrification the 06.30 from Edinburgh arrived in London at 10.33, an end-to-end average speed of 97 mph including stops at Newcastle and York.

There was a Northbound 15.00 train from Kings Cross running a minute faster.

Subsequently the headline time came down to 3hr 59 min.

"Better than BR ever was"?

Prove it.

UPDATE: This from Lobby Fodder...

It would appear that the open access lot aren't happy with the Noble Lord's shiny new timetable.

Apparently Grand Central are already consulting My Learned friends!

UPDATE: This from Leo Pink...

And Network Rail were not exactly amused to find that the agreed wording had changed overnight and that the noble lord had unilaterally committed them to 'facilitate' the sub 4hr London-Edinburgh journey time which is nigh on impossible in a clock-face timetable which assumes all trains run to the same timings.

And as for Adonis' pledge to reinstate the Flying Scotsman, doesn't he know it left Kings Cross at 10.00?

UPDATE: This from Sir Humphrey Beeching...

People are getting a little over excited about this election winning pork-barrel timetable.

If everyone just calmed down they would realise it will all be forgotten after the 6th May...

Watch Eye's lips - No New Trains!

This from the Daily Telegraph...

Lord Forsyth of Drumlean, a Conservative adviser, has said spending cuts of £75bn a year are needed to tackle the economy and that the party should drop plans to raise taxes.

As new trains will be a luxury the country cannot afford that means the current fleets will have to run for ever and ever.

Eye fervently hopes that the UK's remaining "assembly plants" (nee train builders) are getting ready to offer some seriously cost effective life extension work.

Bombardier of Derby - that includes you!

NatEx "considers" bidding for current franchises

This internal announcement from the formerly doomed National Express (with a bowler tip to Sinoda):

Dear All

I wanted to update you about reports you may have seen in this morning’s newspapers, that Lord Adonis, the Secretary of State for Transport, has announced plans for the re-tendering of the East Anglia and c2c franchises as part of wider reforms for the rail industry.

The reports relate to the first step in the tender process which will see the outline terms for the new franchises sent to potential bidders. The next step will be the formal tendering process, which Lord Adonis has confirmed will not take place until after the general election.

Our position is that we will take time to consider the franchise documents before coming to a decision about re-tendering.

One of the things being proposed is that the c2c franchise will be known as Essex Thameside. This is the Department for Transport’s (DfT) name for the franchise and does not impact on our c2c branding which we will continue to use.

We have a fantastic record of running railways and I know you will continue to focus on delivering great operational performance and unbeatable customer service. The recent bad weather has demonstrated the enormous efforts you make to ensure we run services for our customers.

c2c is the best-performing train company in the UK , a position it has held over a number of years. It consistently delivers the highest levels of PPM performance and has the achieved the best ever MAA in the rail industry of 96.2%. It has the best customer satisfaction rating amongst franchised operators in the most recent National Passenger Survey and operates the most reliable fleet in UK as recognised by the recent Golden Spanner awards.

National Express East Anglia has delivered consistent improvements in PPM performance improving its moving annual average performance from 85% in 2004 at start of franchise to 91.6% at end of Period 9 in December 2009. Our Service Improvement Plan is underway to introduce 30 new trains and17 refurbished trains as part of £185m deal with the DfT, and already we are delivering 28,000 extra seats for our customers each week.

We do a great job every day, and I know that’s a record we are all proud of.

As ever, I will continue to keep you updated with developments as and when appropriate.

Kind regards
David Franks

What a lot of words to convey a fairly simple message.

Allow Eye to translate: 'Adonis - you're a dead man walking. Tories - National Express is still here and if you let us, we can bring something to the party.'

Subtle, not.

UPDATE: This from The Archer...

From Lord Adonis yesterday:
"Recent events have also shown how vital it is that we make it harder for operators to walk away from their franchises, so performance bonds will rise and we will expect much larger guarantees from parent companies."

And from today’s OJEU notice:
The future franchisees should have sufficient financial backing to place a performance bond and a season ticket bond. For Essex Thameside, these are expected to be up to GBP 15 million and GBP 20 million respectively. For Greater Anglia, these are expected to be up to GBP 40 million and GBP 70 million respectively

So National Express will indeed need to bring something to the party if they want to retender

Namely bonds to the value of £145 million!

Tory transport policy unveiled

Better late than never...


Have your own go here.

Latest OJEU reveals massive UK rail investment

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
In this week's list of Railway related invitations to tender published in the Official Journal of the European Union, only one, just one, is for a project in the UK.

Read it and weep.

UK-York: consultative engineering and construction services
Title attributed to the contract: NRM+ The Great Hall Exhibition Refurbishment. The NRM+ vision is to renew the Great Hall of the National Railway Museum and create a dynamic new visitor experience which delivers a better understanding of the significance of the railway story to the world in which we live. To help deliver phase one of this vision, the organisation has decided to engage the services of a Building Services and Structural Engineering Consultancy. These consultants will work alongside the Project Manager, architect, Exhibition Designers and NRM stakeholder teams to develop a detailed design proposal which builds on the extensive development work that NRM has commissioned to date

Eheu fugaces labuntur anni (with a bowler tip to Horace).

IEP future assured - Official

Exciting news from Hitachi!

Obviously despairing of ever signing a UK contract for the Frankenstein Train the inscrutable manufacturer has apparently sold the concept overseas.


Eye wonders if the Haramain High Speed Rail Project is being advised by the genii in our very own DfT?

Costloads does modal shift

Eye readers are invited to suggest the current mode of conveyance used by Mr Pisspoor.


Shank's Pony seems a safe bet.

Bob Crow - star of stage, film and picket line

Is the RMT's Bob Crow planning a career change?

This extra-ordinary description of the great man on the Rail Network site:

RMT General Secretary, TV's Bob Crow said: “Despite all the talk about tougher contracts..." (cont' p94).

"TV's Bob Crow"!

Someone better be having a laugh.

Otherwise that's one more reason not to pay the licence fee.

Lord Adonis in PPM shocker

Lord Adonis has been much exercised over the accuracy of PPM recently.

Only last week Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph suggested he was keen to tighten up the measure used to calculate on time arrival, so as to make the figure a more accurate reflection of time in the real world.

Of course no such strictures apply to the Noble Lord himself.

Why only this morning the High Speed Evangelist kept a bevy of TOC MDs waiting 20 minutes before he finally arrived to open the Stations Summit.

Fortunately right time arrival was achieved, but only after career railwayman, Chris Green, had jettisoned the final section of his presentation.

Leadership by example - shome mishtake shurley.

UPDATE: This from Strawbricking...

Instead of seeking to re-define "On time", currently within 10 minutes (for InterCity TOCs, Ed) at the "Final Destination", would not Lord A's attention be better directed at looking at trains which are late during their journey but still arrive "On time" because of the slack built into the time-table?

And then there are the ways in which the figures are "massaged", such as:

• "stop-skipping" - leaving out stations on the way to claw back a delay (but not leaving a trace on the system as a cancelled train),
• "early termination" - stopping short and starting the return journey to claw back delay (again not leaving a trace as a cancelled train)
• or cancelling a severely delayed train - thereby wiping out the delay minutes.

UPDATE: This from AMonkster via Twitter...

Trains that 'skip stops' or are cancelled entirely/midway already fail PPM, they're not 'massaged' out

To make PPM train must serve all booked stations and arrive at destination within 5 minutes (or 10 for Long Distance).

PPM is at least an improvement on Charter!

Hunt the Sir Humphrey

Good to see that Lord Adonis remains committed to the principles of Open Government and transparency.

These weasel words given on the 18th January:

Lord Bradshaw (Liberal Democrat)
To ask Her Majesty's Government further to the Written Answer by Lord Adonis on 16 December 2009 (WA 233), how many civil servants were seconded to the private sector in the transport industries during 2008 and 2009.

Lord Adonis (Secretary of State, Department for Transport; Labour)
In instances where there are five or fewer occurrences, it is Department for Transport policy not to release information on grounds of confidentiality

Can you help Lord Bradshaw with his question?

If you find a Sir Humphrey lying around your railway company perhaps you could let Lord B know.

UPDATE: This from Sinoda...

With reference to the mysterious whereabouts of the Sir Humphreys amongst the TOCs, perhaps the answer is that they are all invisible.



As this advertisement says "Watch out, watch out, there's a (Sir) Humphrey about!"

The Fact Compiler observes - "birds dipping their beaks" - those were the days!

Introducing Eye's exciting new columnist...

...Glenda Flagg.

Hats off to dishy Lord Adonis!!?!! He's the Transport secretary that sent National Express a-slithering and a-wriggling off the East Coast!?! Often seen out and about on the railway while he sends his junior man on the buses!?!! Who cares he's promised more new railways with less money than George Hudson!!!???!! With vision like that you can electrify Glenda's line anytime m' Lord!!!?! Geddit!

Lord Adonis!!!?!! Who does he think he is, this back room boffin from Number 10!?!! Who put a nerdy trainspotter in charge of transport when the roads needed a-gritting!???!! Poor old Glenda was a-slipping and a-sliding and it wasn't with delight!!?!! Geddit! What does boffin boy know about real transport, busy drawing pretty lines on the map whilst FuCC goes to hell!!!???!!! And as for a Rolling Stock Plan, I wouldn't trust you to colour code the knickers in my undies drawer, sweetie!!!?!!!

You're fired. Ed

First for fast staff turnover

Exciting news from FuCC.

The doomed TOC has a brand new MD!

One Neal Lawson.

Here his page from professional networking site Linkedin.


But what's this?

Apparently our Neal has been MD of FuCC for a whole 'nine' months!

Clever of Mary Grant to put Neal into the firing line a mere week into his new job!

Pssst - want to buy a Rosco, going cheap

So HSBC is still trying to flog its rolling stock leasing division (Rosco).

This from Project Finance Magazine:

Bidding consortia are forming for the sale of HSBC's UK rolling stock portfolio. The bank, which owns around a quarter of the UK's rolling stock, is said to be putting together a staple financing, where the seller offers a pre-packaged acquisition finance plan to potential buyers.

As HSBC Rail (nee Eversholt) was originally set up to be the electric train Rosco the decision to increase the number of route miles under the wires must add something to its potential value.

Although the greatest risk to HSBC's fleet portfolio was DafTs insane idea to seek early replacement of the highly reliable East Coast IC225 fleet with the Frankenstein Train.

But as the IEP is now hurtling to oblivion, bidders must be queuing up to take a punt.

Wolmar suffers annoying pile - Shocker

Or should that be Pyle?

The shocking details on Comrade Scribbler's very own blog.

Just because you're innocent doesn't mean you're not guilty...

On-line booking challenge for WSMR passengers

This just in from Bushy...

Now, I don't like to malign our entrepreneurial friends at Wrexham & Shropshire (and their Chiltern overlords) but parts of the operation seem not to be singing from the same hymn sheet.

In a release dated 24th September 2009 Wrexham and Shropshire MD, Andy Hamilton, said:

“This comes at an exciting time for Wrexham & Shropshire... By operating as part of the Chiltern Railways business, we will be able to serve additional stations such as Leamington Spa and will benefit from the single-minded commitment of one of the world’s most successful transport companies.”

On the WSMR website home page there is a drop down menu to select the start and end point for the intending passenger's journey.

Although the site clearly says that 'Journeys to and from London and Banbury are available' it is actually impossible to book Marylebone to Banbury (or v.v) using the WSMR website.

Meanwhile, Leamington Spa doesn't appear in the drop down menu at all.

Surprisingly though, you can book on the 07:29 Leamington to Marylebone WSMR service, but only via Chiltern's site.

Given they are both part of DB Regio this isn't exactly joined up.

UPDATE: This from Yokel...

Don't worry too much about on-line booking!

Us Yokels much prefer the civilised nature of being able to get on the train without a ticket, and to pay the manager when he comes round, and all without a penalty fare!

Again, don't worry about Leamington Spa, as it is only a recent addition to the itinerary.

Quite a shame really, because when W&S trains had to pass through, it was a rare chance to travel on the centre roads at Leamington that now seem to have reverted to their empty stock and freight only use.

Whatever happened to the non-stop London to Birmingham express trains that would thunder through the centre lines of every station in between? Oh, Dr Beeching, and "rationalisation".

Nostalgia ain't wot it used to be!

It's like a menagerie out there...

Is Beatrix Potter running the railway?

(LNWN) At 1726 the driver of 1M98, EA, 1611 Edinburgh Waverley - Manchester Airport, reported that CE483 signal on the Up Main line at Carlisle Kingmoor had reverted from green to red as the train approached. The driver was unable to stop and passed the signal at red. The driver was fit to continue. It was confirmed by the Signalling Shift Manager at Carlisle PSB that a momentary remote systems failure had occurred at the time at Carlisle Kingmoor. The S&T team attended, and upon arrival at Kingmoor Relay Room discovered a cat climbing over the racks which house the TDM equipment, and which may have been responsible for the momentary failure.
The cat was removed to a place of safety, and it was also reported that the roof of the Relay Room was leaking and the floor flooded, although not affecting equipment, the Property Action Line advised.
TRUST 740862 IQRO = 5 trains = 28 mins. Fault No.450842. CCIL 523594.

There was also disruption on the Charing Cross branch of the Northern line just before mid-day today - due to a fox on the line at Warren Street.

UPDATE: This from 'Is 1A03 out of Chester yet, Bert?' with a bowler tip to Messrs Kitchener and Ford...


Metro had a similar story on the 8th December last year - here suitably captioned.

Daily Mail - Important news for railway PRs

This for everyone on the railway who has ever been dry-shafted by the Daily Mail.

So that will be all of us then.

By way of background the doctor of the dodgy dossier, Alistair Campbell, suggested on his blog last week that Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre may harbour a furtive passion for him.

Now view on gentle reader...



"So go away and write poisonous crap. Now." - Nice

With a bowler tip to Sir William Pollitt for drawing this to the Eye's attention.