Friday, 31 October 2008

Lose bolt kills cat!

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
ORR is reported to be waiting for a visitation from the provisional wing of the RSPCA!

The recently mailed out hard copy of the 2008 Periodic Review final determination was a whopping 447 page tome.

Lobbed through a letter box by your average Postie it could reach speeds of almost 12mph by the time it hit the doormat.

With a weight close to 3.5lbs that would be enough to flatten the average moggie or toy dog with extreme prejudice.

Where is elf 'n' safety when it is really needed, demand the pet lovers of Great Britain?

Smiling Assassin

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Reflections on the defection of the well known wrecker and trouble maker Chris Randall to Cyprus...

It is worth mentioning that the 'Smiling Assassin' was one of the dauntless three who saw off the soi disant political 'bruiser' Tony McNulty.

When he was appointed Rail Minister McNulty's PR minions thought it would be a good idea to expose the bruiser to the railway press and set up a session with the Smiling Assassin, Captain Deltic and the Media Tart .

Every question put to the slowly deflating bruiser got the answer 'What would you do?'.

A fatal ploy for obvious reasons.

As the meeting ended a battered McNulty said, 'I look forward to meeting you guys again when there's more to say'.

Alas, either McNulty had nothing more to say or the invite was lost in the post...

For pity's sake #2

Contempt of the High Court of Parliament?

As any fule kno
DafT's Laughing Stock Plan will produce only 1156 additional vehicles (at the last count) for the train starved railway network.

My Lord Adonis meanwhile appears insistent on treating Parliament with ill disguised contempt.

Here some words from the perfectly formed peer delivered to the highest court in the land on Wednesday 29th October:

Lord Adonis (Minister of State, Department for Transport; Labour)
"It is the intention that 1,300 additional new rail vehicles will be delivered by the end of control period 4."

Send him down!