Sunday, 26 April 2009

Clarkson goes green!

Telegrammed by 'Ze Germans'
Pictured is Jezzer Clarkson admiring his handy work, having just dropped 1/2 a ton of coal into DB Schenker's flower bed at Tyne Yard, whilst attempting to coal up Tornado.

You will notice how knackered he looks having spent the whole trip on the footplate.

He also appears to have changed colour!

Adonis multiple vote shocker!

Time to review the results of the latest exciting Eye survey.

Readers were invited to vote on whether InterCity stations should have barriers.

Everybody, with the exception of My Lord Adonis, will be unsurprised to discover that 75% of Eye readers believe that InterCity stations should remain ungated and open.

That said, 15% of you voted in favour of ticket barriers.

But what's this?

Some sort of skullduggery afoot?

Readers who voted for ticket barriers were clearly asked to confirm that they were also Lord Adonis.

Eye can only assume that Lord Adonis, or his advisors, took advantage of the tax payer funded Pilgrimage of Grice and voted from multiple IP addresses as he toured the country.

For this clear example of electoral malpractice the Eye's returning officer has decreed that only one vote can be recorded in favour of gates. Disappointing news for the department.

Perhaps the most interesting result was amongst those who confirmed that they were not listening.

This option was only visible to browsers accessing the Eye from DfT's high-level gsi domain servers.

As a consequence the Eye can exclusively reveal that a majority of civil servants, who expressed a preference, are just not listening.

No surprise there then.

Network Rail's got talent?

This from today's Mail on Sunday...

"Labour MP Jim Devine... also criticised Network Rail for using taxpayers' money to hire the £450-an-hour showbusiness law firm Schillings in an abortive attempt to gag reports of the race and sex abuse claims."

Showbusiness law firm!

Perhaps it's time we asked Simon Cowell to vote on NR board bonuses.