Friday 22 December 2017

Eye's Exclusive Christmas Telly Guide

This from Michael Port and Stilton-illo...

The festive season is of course the perfect time for opening up the Quality Street and unwinding in front of the TV.  So Eye has selected the very best of the seasonal schedules from the Radio Times-table, perfect for all the #railwayfamily.

15:00 Queen’s Christmas Message
Please stand for Her Majesty.  Unless you’re on the 7.16am train from East Grinstead to London Bridge, in which case you’re already standing.

15:15 Sector Deal or No Sector Deal
Open the boxes to see whether the railways get a sector deal.  And who is the mysterious banker who is leading the project?  This week’s contestants include RSG, RDG, RIA, Rail Alliance, RFEM, DfT, BEIS... (That’s enough acronyms – Ed)

16:00 Gardening Leave World
How to prune orchard fruit trees.  With special guest RDG presenter (to be announced.)

16:30 Pointless
Rail freight experts try to explain to Lord Adonis why platooned lorries will not solve world hunger.

17:00 Film - Titanic 
The East Coast franchise is sinking, and shareholders are in peril.  DfT have launched the lifeboats but can they rescue it before everyone’s reputation is damaged? (Repeat)

19:00 Penn and Teller – Fool Us
Illusionists Penn & Teller sit in the audience whilst Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell describe their plans for the UK railways, including nationalisation, buying back the ROSCOs and national pay bargaining.  There’ll even be enough money left over to cut fares!  Can they fool the magic duo? Can they fool you?

19:45 East-West Enders
Chris and Rob throw a Christmas party to celebrate the start of works, but joy turns to horror as something nasty is discovered in the structural surveys and Peggy realises that half the outputs have vanished!

20:15 DIY SOS
The village wants a new railway station, but Network Rail’s costs are just too high!  Can the community come together to deliver it more efficiently? Presented by Rob Mackintosh with help from a team of friendly Canadian pensioners..

21:00 Antiques RailShow
In this special rail edition, ROSCOs ask the experts to assess whether there is any residual value left in their fleets.  A rare PRM TSI compliant HST causes excitement for Fiona!

22:00 News at Ten
Presented by Nigel Harris

22:15 Regional News
Presented by Chris Grayling (All regions, except Scotland)

22:30 Weather
Network Rail’s new video explains why they can’t run trains when it’s too windy, wet, hot, cold, snowy or leafy.

23:00 Morecambe and Wise Christmas Special
Our annual reminder that everything was better in the past. Guest stars include Val Doonican, Christian Wolmar and the British Railways Board.

Wishing all Eye readers. and contributors, a Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2018.