Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Tory transport policy unveiled

Better late than never...

Have your own go here.

Latest OJEU reveals massive UK rail investment

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
In this week's list of Railway related invitations to tender published in the Official Journal of the European Union, only one, just one, is for a project in the UK.

Read it and weep.

UK-York: consultative engineering and construction services
Title attributed to the contract: NRM+ The Great Hall Exhibition Refurbishment. The NRM+ vision is to renew the Great Hall of the National Railway Museum and create a dynamic new visitor experience which delivers a better understanding of the significance of the railway story to the world in which we live. To help deliver phase one of this vision, the organisation has decided to engage the services of a Building Services and Structural Engineering Consultancy. These consultants will work alongside the Project Manager, architect, Exhibition Designers and NRM stakeholder teams to develop a detailed design proposal which builds on the extensive development work that NRM has commissioned to date

Eheu fugaces labuntur anni (with a bowler tip to Horace).

IEP future assured - Official

Exciting news from Hitachi!

Obviously despairing of ever signing a UK contract for the Frankenstein Train the inscrutable manufacturer has apparently sold the concept overseas.

Eye wonders if the Haramain High Speed Rail Project is being advised by the genii in our very own DfT?

Costloads does modal shift

Eye readers are invited to suggest the current mode of conveyance used by Mr Pisspoor.

Shank's Pony seems a safe bet.

Bob Crow - star of stage, film and picket line

Is the RMT's Bob Crow planning a career change?

This extra-ordinary description of the great man on the Rail Network site:

RMT General Secretary, TV's Bob Crow said: “Despite all the talk about tougher contracts..." (cont' p94).

"TV's Bob Crow"!

Someone better be having a laugh.

Otherwise that's
one more reason not to pay the licence fee.

Lord Adonis in PPM shocker

Lord Adonis has been much exercised over the accuracy of PPM recently.

Only last week Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph suggested he was keen to tighten up the measure used to calculate on time arrival, so as to make the figure a more accurate reflection of time in the real world.

Of course no such strictures apply to the Noble Lord himself.

Why only this morning the High Speed Evangelist kept a bevy of TOC MDs waiting 20 minutes before he finally arrived to open the Stations Summit.

Fortunately right time arrival was achieved, but only after career railwayman, Chris Green, had jettisoned the final section of his presentation.

Leadership by example - shome mishtake shurley.

UPDATE: This from Strawbricking...

Instead of seeking to re-define "On time", currently within 10 minutes (for InterCity TOCs, Ed) at the "Final Destination", would not Lord A's attention be better directed at looking at trains which are late during their journey but still arrive "On time" because of the slack built into the time-table?

And then there are the ways in which the figures are "massaged", such as:

  • "stop-skipping" - leaving out stations on the way to claw back a delay (but not leaving a trace on the system as a cancelled train),
  • "early termination" - stopping short and starting the return journey to claw back delay (again not leaving a trace as a cancelled train)
  • or cancelling a severely delayed train - thereby wiping out the delay minutes.
UPDATE: This from AMonkster via Twitter...

Trains that 'skip stops' or are cancelled entirely/midway already fail PPM, they're not 'massaged' out

To make PPM train must serve all booked stations and arrive at destination within 5 minutes (or 10 for Long Distance).

PPM is at least an improvement on Charter!

Hunt the Sir Humphrey

Good to see that Lord Adonis remains committed to the principles of Open Government and transparency.

These weasel words given on the 18th January:

Lord Bradshaw (Liberal Democrat)
To ask Her Majesty's Government further to the Written Answer by Lord Adonis on 16 December 2009 (WA 233), how many civil servants were seconded to the private sector in the transport industries during 2008 and 2009.

Lord Adonis (Secretary of State, Department for Transport; Labour)
In instances where there are five or fewer occurrences, it is Department for Transport policy not to release information on grounds of confidentiality

Can you help Lord Bradshaw with his question?

If you find a Sir Humphrey lying around your railway company perhaps you could let Lord B know.

UPDATE: This from Sinoda...

With reference to the mysterious whereabouts of the Sir Humphreys amongst the TOCs, perhaps the answer is that they are all invisible.

As this advertisement says "Watch out, watch out, there's a (Sir) Humphrey about!"

The Fact Compiler observes - "birds dipping their beaks" - those were the days!

Introducing Eye's exciting new columnist...

...Glenda Flagg.

Hats off to dishy Lord Adonis!!?!! He's the Transport secretary that sent National Express a-slithering and a-wriggling off the East Coast!?! Often seen out and about on the railway while he sends his junior man on the buses!?!! Who cares he's promised more new railways with less money than George Hudson!!!???!! With vision like that you can electrify Glenda's line anytime m' Lord!!!?! Geddit!

Lord Adonis!!!?!! Who does he think he is, this back room boffin from Number 10!?!! Who put a nerdy trainspotter in charge of transport when the roads needed a-gritting!???!! Poor old Glenda was a-slipping and a-sliding and it wasn't with delight!!?!! Geddit! What does boffin boy know about real transport, busy drawing pretty lines on the map whilst FuCC goes to hell!!!???!!! And as for a Rolling Stock Plan, I wouldn't trust you to colour code the knickers in my undies drawer, sweetie!!!?!!!

You're fired. Ed