Thursday, 21 October 2010

Trainy speakibold - Victoria liine

This from Tingly Nell...

From the Victoria line...

“This service is being delayed because of signalling and control problems”

Prof Unwin suggests: “Coburgly happy sleepytime, wakey quicksnap! Not knowy which buttonholey pushy, all tubey trundle stop. Deep woe.”

'Elf 'n' Safety front ends

This from the Commander...

In regard to the view of the glossy pic adorning RailTalk in this month’s edition of Captain Deltic’s flagship publication showing LUL’s new ‘S’ stock’ red front end, is there a difference I’ve missed in the requirements for National Rail and LUL?

One notices the Overground ELL units with their yellow front ends, and one remembers the SNCF having to adorn their beautiful casse-nez BB 22000s with yellow protuberances in case they ventured into the daylight at Folkestone.

Again, on mixed LUL/NR infrastructure areas, according to LUL Track Awareness, on receiving a warning from a train driver staff should move to a place of safety and then acknowledge, where as the NR PTS requires an acknowledgement before moving to a place of safety, or you’ll fail the exam.

Likewise, do Chiltern units sound the distinctive LUL warning notes on their horns according to their direction of travel where the lines merge north of Harrow?

Sorry to sound a discordant note - perhaps I would be better employed celebrating today's 205th Anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar!

UPDATE: The Fact Compiler observes...

The absence of a yellow front end on the ICE3 set at St Pancras received much comment on Tuesday.

As most modern trains now have front end lamps than can be seen from deep-space is it perhaps time to review this particular Standard?

Trainy Speakibold - CSRballs

Professor Unwin compliments Evoli Rail Systems for this splendid example of CSRballs...

The last par in particular is a delight.

Evolvi Rail Systems comment on rail pricing formula changes announced in the Comprehensive Spending Review:

"The change in the rail formula will in time lead to potentially significant fare increases for business travellers, particularly for 'walk-up' tickets," says Jon Reeve, Trade Relations Director at Evolvi, the online rail booking and fulfilment company specialising in business travel.

"This will likely prompt more companies to consolidate their rail bookings within a managed travel policy compliant purchasing environment - in this way they will be able to optimise available budgets through advance purchase, expense monitoring and seamless P2P processes. Organisations will certainly need to leverage the technical innovation brought to market by tools like Evolvi to assist their procurement of rail travel in order to mitigate as far as possible the future increases."

Sadly even the good Prof couldn't translate this cobblers. Deep woe!

UPDATE: This from Sinoda...

Lovely to see that our old friend Sir Humphrey Applebold is writey press releasey for the Evolvi.

Oh, happy day!

UPDATE: This from Wonky Tom...

I *think* it means something like walk-up tickets will get more expensive, so business passengers will switch to advance tickets. However, these are so complex (unlike the release) that they will have to use our product to get the best deals"

It's either that or something about the pen of my aunt.

TSC summons Hammond to discuss CSR

This from the Transport Select Committee...

The Committee has called the Secretary of State to give oral evidence next month to explain the impact of the Comprehensive Spending Review on transport and how he intends to maintain and improve the UK’s transport infrastructure.

Committee Chair Louise Ellman adds, “The Chancellor’s announcements on the CSR made some positive commitments to a limited number of projects. However, I remain concerned that his statement today failed to disclose where the cuts will fall except to confirm that there are bound to be increases in bus and train fares. The Committee will be seeking fuller disclosure so that the public can understand how they will be affected by the 21% cut in the transport budget.”

The meeting takes place on Wednesday, November 24, 2010 in Committee Room 8, House of Commons, at 15:00

A Frenchie writes...

This from le French Taunter...

While you miserable Anglais were worrying yesterday about how you are going to find the money to keep our farmers and our old age pensioners in Gauloises and Pate de Foie Gras, it may have escaped your attention that we have taken further action to ensure that only our magnifique TGVs will ever be allowed to traverse the Tunnel Sous la Manche......

Vive la interoperabilité, as you deluded railway people say in Roast Boeuf-land.

Postman bites crow

Oh dear.

No love lost between Alan Johnson MP and Crow Bar Bob.

On this morning's Radio 4 Today programme the Shadow Chancellor described the leader of the RMT as coming from 'the planet Zog'.

Evidently Johnson remains to be convinced that there is intelligent life 'out there'.

Villiers vignettes... On fare rises

This from the Daily Telegraph...

The raft of rises were condemned by Theresa Villiers, the Tories' transport spokesman.

"At a time when personal budgets are tight and passengers are crying out for value for money, the Government have sanctioned a fare increase 3 per cent over inflation," she said.

"It is now clear that the Government is trying to price people off the railways as a feeble attempt to deal with overcrowding which has resulted from their complete failure to deliver the new capacity on the railways that they have been promising for almost a decade."

Just fancy that!