Thursday, 29 December 2011

ScotRail uses PsychOps on Hogmanay revellers

This from ScotRail...

ScotRail today announced it is trialling the use of ‘3D’ graphics to brighten the look of train toilets.

The walls are being covered with laminated images featuring designs using a 'deceive the eye' technique to give the impression of being in 3D.

They have been introduced on a train serving key cities including Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Inverness.

New Year's eve will see some very, very confused passengers!

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

And on the 1000th day DfT gave to me...

A Merry Christmas to all Eye readers!

On the day that we were due to celebrate the 1000th day without an order for new rolling stock, DfT has pulled its finger out!

This from Bombardier:

London, 28 December, 2011 – Bombardier Transportation today announced that it has secured an additional order for 130 BOMBARDIER ELECTROSTAR* cars for Southern. The new trains will augment Southern’s existing fleet of Bombardier’s award winning electric multiple units. The contract is valued at £188.8 million (Euro 222.8 million).

Hail Greening - a Transport Secretary who makes things happen!

Thursday, 22 December 2011

DfT issues revised timetable for announcements

This from Leo Pink...

Hot on the news that the Secretary of State has issued a five page missive telling DfT officials how to write letters perhaps Eye readers will be interested in the latest memo circulating in Marsham Street:

Forecasts and Statements (Semantics) Policy on Terminology Committee
Simplifcation Working Group

Terminology - In a fast changing world , flexibility is essential.

The use of seasons in setting policy delivery targets has become overly granular, introducing increased risk of target dates become excessively specific and vulnerable to events. This gives an unwanted and unwarranted impression that Government is not in control of policy.

All officials within the Department should ensure that with effect from 1 January 2012 all policy announcements adopt the new FSSPOT principles.

Events will now be specified as happening to the following time scales:
  • Later this year
  • By the end of the year*
  • Early next year
* Please note that this should not be used after 31 March and in any event requires Ministerial authorisation

For long term planning horizons the following may be used:
  • On or about about the same date that the first IEP is delivered

Sir Humphrey Gussett
Permanent Secretary Designate

Apparently this has been issued to counter
Informed Sources Third Law (Distrust all forecasts based on the seasons).

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

FGW restores the glass of Christmas cheer

Oh dear!

Last week's roasting by Sir Beardie of DfT franchising policy and Johnny Foreigner railways has resulted in unexpected collatoral damage to the industry's great and good.

Today should have seen the hard working team from Modern Railways wasailing with Virgin as they sped to Crewe to play on simulators followed by an agreeable luncheon.

Alas Virgin received a severe spanky botty from Marsham Street for last week's unguarded words and as a consequence all schmoozing by the red machine's PR department has been unceremoniously caped!

With BeardieRail forced into the role of Scrooge it looked like Christmas had been cancelled for Ian Allan's finest.

Happily a Fairy God Mother appeared in the shape of First Great Western's Mr Hopwood, and as a consequence the Modern Railways team will still be able to dine in style today but heading West.

As the original Great Western was so fond of saying: "See your own country First". Indeed!

Pointless signs - St Pancras

This from the late General Lee...

Not so much pointless, just misspelt.

Who auhorised this poorly-checked sign that appears all over St. Pancras?

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Revenue protection - Big Society style

Let this be a lesson to all those who wear beanie hats... (shurley fare dodge? Ed)

Good effort 'Big Man'!

Monday, 12 December 2011

LUL gets all 21st Century over upgrades

Good effort.

Christmas televisual feast - your starter for 10

This from Sinoda...

Idly leafing through the pages of the Double Issue Christmas Radio Times (other listings magazines are available. Ed), I find that 'The World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent' is to be interrogated on television just before Christmas by Jeremy Paxman.

Nothing tremendously untoward so far you may think - but wait a mo!

Jezza 'Come on, Come On!' Paxo is hosting a special season of 'Christmas University Challenge' featuring 'famous alumni' representing their respective Universities, and the listings for BBC2 on Thursday 22nd December (almost) reads as follows:

Jeremy Paxman hosts another first-round match, tonight between the University of Warwick, led by the 'World's Greatest Living Transport Correspondent', and the University of Sheffield, captained by George Ergatoudis.

"Here's your starter for 10: What is the connection between a Banana and the failure to construct high-speed railway lines?"

DafT - life imitates art

This from a Mr Murray Mint...

Good to see that several local authorities have embraced a right thinking approach to nomenclature.

This from Southend Council’s mobile CCTV guidelines (para 1.1.2)

1.1.2 The Traffic Management Act (TMA) (2004) has provided a solution to this on Going issue by permitting the use of Mobile CCTV vehicles to enforce the kind of Contraventions mentioned above. Paragraph 50 of the Department for Transport (Daft) TMA 2004 The Secretary of State’s Statutory Guidance to Local Authorities etc, etc, etc...

This from Newham Council on Sustainable Impact Appraisals para 1.1.1

1.1.1 It was a requirement of the ORN designation by the Department of Transport that an EqIA was prepared in order to demonstrate that the equalities impacts of the ORN proposals can be effectively managed. This document was approved by Daft during the ORN designation process etc, etc, etc...

This from Bexley's Public Transport Sub-Committee (page 11):

VL responded that while Southeastern had sympathy with local aspirations, stops at Deal on
the high speed network had not been included in the Daft’s service specification, etc, etc, etc...

That’s DafT enough – Ed

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Railway Carol Service - 21st December


This year's Transport Benevolent Fund rail staff carol service takes place on:

Wednesday 21st December at 12:30

at St Mary's Somers Town, Eversholt Street, near Euston Station (NW1 IBN).

All supporters of the railway most welcome.

Meanwhile, for those unable to make it...

Hope to see you on the 21st...

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Pointless sign - Newhaven

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Pointless signs - Hull Paragon

Pointless signs - A big shout out to Ravey Davey