Wednesday, 14 January 2009

New Rosco

The Bank of Tokyo Mitsubishi UFJ Capital Corporation (BTMUCC) has launched a new rolling stock leasing company.

The new entity already has 27 locomotives and 50 freight cars on lease to lessees in the UK and Belgium.

As railway wags will quickly transform BTMUCC into 'Butt Muck' it comes as no surprise that the new ROSCO will be known as Beacon Rail.

Toot, toot

Good news from our caring, sharing, modally-agnostic Government:

According to Downing Street "The 450 Jaguar-Land Rover staff who have been told today that they are to lose their jobs, will be given Government help to find work".

Presumably railway workers, who have been losing their jobs hand over fist, can go stuff themselves?

Not guilty!


'Zeppelin raid fatalities blamed on railway'.

Presumably Prince Harry's nick-name faux pax means we can no longer finger the Hun for this one!

UPDATE: Our man with a wind turbine on his chimney writes...

"The Zeppelin attack on Nottingham completely explodes rail's so called 'green' credentials.

"At a time of national emergency, when every ton of coal counted, the direct ancestor of East Midlands Trains was wasting precious energy, and increasing global warming, by leaving gas lights burning all night.

"Who will hold Tim Shoveller to account?!?"

UPDATE: Biggles writes...

"Maybe Chiltern or LOROL could bring back the Schienenzeppelin (pictured below)?"

Right. Stop this. it is getting silly!

I'd like to thank my accountant...

Telegrammed by 222 Marylebone Road
With the credit crunch tightening and even Eurostar revenue flat, industry black tie bun-fights - sorry - awards ceremonies, are looking to be ever more relevant and quantifiable.

So instead of 'Railway manager of the year' and 'Prettiest station' expect 'Most profitable TOC', 'Largest reduction in head count' and, if DafT can find enough change down the back of Dr Death's office sofa 'ROSCO with the lowest profit margin on its ex-BR fleet'.

Other possible categories include 'Network Rail territory with the lowest spend per mile on OHLE maintenance' and 'Operator with shortest booking office hours' and 'Most protracted rolling stock procurement exercise'.

Eye has already offered to sponsor the 'fleet with the longest unchanged livery' category.