Telegrammed by The Archer
When is a completed project not complete?
Item 4 in Notes to Editors reads: "Although the project is complete, further planned improvement work will be undertaken at a couple of locations on the West Coast over the weekend of 27th & 28th December. There will also be work at weekends between Preston and Glasgow , starting in February."
Oh what a tangled web...
Good news from Northampton.
As is well known DafT does not micromanage franchises.
But in a major scoop the Northampton Chronicle has uncovered the following shocking admission concealed very near the top of a DafT press release:
Lord Adonis said "This new timetable will see many more trains running every day, many of them originally specified by the Government and now being introduced by franchised train operators."
Remember, you read it there first.
Glad tidings from Network Rail!
According to a press release from the Death Star (nee Black Tower) the West Coast Project is completed!
Amidst a tide of trumpet blasts a euphoric Iain Coucher proclaimed:
"Network Rail has delivered West Coast on the day we said we would."
Meanwhile the industry said:
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandiain, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Good news for civil liberties in the UK!
Our latest poll shows that only 7% of you believe we still retain our ancient freedoms.
Which means a massive 93% of readers believe that we now live in a police state!
Alas, over 50% of those don't care as long as The Fact Compiler is gaoled.
The dangers of posting to the internet explained...
The Mail on Sunday's attention has alighted on 'flailing' and they have lifted pictures from the web.
Wolmar is to be congratulated for pillorying the idiots but making clear they are in the minority.
Not so the Picture Desk...
Telegrammed by the Master
Another piss-poor show from FCC staff at Finsbury Park this morning.
Despite the platform screens being out of order staff still couldn't drag their sorry backsides from their offices to actually inform people of platform changes - or even bother to use the PA except to announce that the PIS wasn't working (no shit Sherlock! Ed)
The result being that all the passengers waiting for the 11:06 to Cambridge were left stranded on platform 5 whilst their train came and went from platform 3.
Come back WAGN - all is forgiven!
Rob Holden!
According to a piece buried away at the back of yesterday's Times in the Movers and Shakers column!
Not exactly a professional way to communicate key Board appointments to this multi-billion pound project, is it DafT?
***Sky News reporting that EWS to shed 530 jobs***
Looks like next week's Railfreight Group Christmas do will be a jolly affair...
UPDATE: BBC claims the figure represents 10% of EWS' workforce.
Over on Wolmar's website is a trailer for The Railway Blues featuring the great man himself.
But what's this?
Just 30 seconds into the trailer up pops Andrew Haines uttering the immortal line "I won't be here in six months if that improvement isn't better, our bosses will have found somebody else to do the job."
He won't, it isn't and they will!
Good to see Network Rail supporting this event. 
The Fact Compiler hopes Team Railway will be in good voice...
...is very important on, or about, the railway.
This tosh from Daft:
"50 years of motorways: special birthday celebrated with opening of £174 million M6 extension"
Presumably plans are well advanced to celebrate the 150th anniversary of car sickness in 2015?
The railways green credentials were sadly lacking this afternoon when Transport Minister Geoff Hoon presented Cub Scouts with their new safety badge at St Pancras International.
The choice of an EMT HST as a backdrop was rather unfortunate as the VP185 engine produced a veritable smokescreen on departure which masked Hoon from the cameras and probably shortened the lives of the poor Scouts!
The Fact Compiler hopes that Hoon complied with the law and was CRB checked before he consorted with minors?
This from First Group...
"Andrew Haines, currently Managing Director Rail Division and Chief Operating Officer at First Great Western is to leave the Company.
"Speaking of his departure, Andrew said: "This is entirely my own decision and I am grateful for the support and encouragement of the FirstGroup Board during my time with the company"."
The Fact Compiler has a suspicion that Haines and Lockjaw won't be trading Christmas cards - for environmental reasons obviously...
Serious news: ORR paper pushers may have to do some work in the next two weeks!
Or so it would appear from a story bordering on the indiscreet in today's FT:
"The Office of Rail Regulation (ORR) said neither Virgin Trains nor East Midlands Trains had yet signed track access agreements for their services under the new timetable, due to deliver a range of faster, more frequent services from December 14."
How annoying of EMT & Virgin to focus on running trains when it might inconvenience the ORR's very tight programme of vacillating and Christmas parties.
This courtesy of Guido
The Fact Compiler is delighted that MPs now know what it's like for the rest of us.
After all they voted to enact such draconian "security" legislation.
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