Day of the dead

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
The railway industry official haruspex reports that next week there will be an announcement on the Zombie/Frankenstein/Camel Train (please add Dinosaur train. Ed).

What a chance for Gordon to strike a blow against protectionism and proudly declare: 'I'm all for British jobs for Japanese workers' if it saves the world from depre...oops, recession'.

Or he could let Lord Adonis announce: 'Project Deferred until we need new trains for the GWML electrification to be announced later this year when we have put Mark Lambirth back in his cage'..

Or the Treasury could kick it into the long grass (shurely 'invest in an alternative to air travel'. Ed).

Importance of Standards

For goodness sake.

What better evidence do you need for the dysfunctional state of the industry?

As any fule kno Standards are central to the safe, economic and effcient operation of the railway.

But when it comes to rolling stock it seems that every Tom, Dick and Peter is suddenly an expert.

Take the IEP.

The Fact Compiler prefers the term Frankenstein Train, Captain Deltic favours the Zombie Train, whilst Nigel Harris plumps for the Camel Class.

Johnny come lately, Peter Fox, has now decided that the IEP should be called 'The dinosaur'.

Enough! Come on RSSB do your job!

UPDATE: A diabolical reader suggest the IEP should be known as the Class 666...

Jobs for the Choys?

Telegrammed by The RSM
Presumably the recent farago over Gordon's promise of 'British Jobs for British Workers' hasn't escaped the notice of Crossrail.

With the CLRL executive team nicknamed the 'Hong Kong mafia', one of the plans for building Crossrail is to subcontract the tunnelling to the Chinese.

One piece of good news, it wouldn't be long before London was hungry for Crossrail 2...

Talk is cheap

Does anyone actually believe this cobblers?

North may get two high speed railway links

Does Hoon really take us for idiots?

Oi Geoff! Here's a top tip.

Stop the spin and start the work.

Mystic Halcrow

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
In February 1998, the Institution of Mechanical Engineers Railway Division held a conference on Rail 2020.

A paper by a consultant from Halcrow Transmark concluded:

1. It is likely that Government can stop any subsidy payments between 2010 and 2015
2. At the broadest level, taking the total financial viewpoint of money in and money out of the Industry, it becomes break even around the year 2005.

So where did it all go wrong?

UPDATE: A Mr Dixon writes...

It looks like Halcrow have revised their "optimism bias" in recent years.

Let's hope they're wrong on this one as well.

Heads I win, tails you loose!

Good news for those who like to be dry shafted.

This from the Yorkshire Post:

A spokesman for the Association of Train Operating Companies (Atoc) hinted yesterday that rail companies could press for the current arrangements to be altered so they are not forced to reduce fares.

No shit sherlock

NRES ahead of the game

DOS from Rugby writes...

This from NRES at 09:30 today:


Nothing like a bit of advance warning.

Gricing simulator

***An old one but well worth a visit***

RPI for December 08

The Fact Compiler is very grateful to an 'anonymous' reader who advises...

The latest RPI figure published (12 months to December 2008) was 0.9%.

Any number crunchers care to hazard a guess as to the size of the June fares increases?

First for winter travel

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Travellers who battled their way to Stevenage station early this morning found the ticket office shut and the usual range of intensely annoying and totally useless messages on the Public Address.

This included recommending passengers to use the Bus Replacement Services, which weren't going anywhere, the promise of a train soon and, best of all, the recommendation that passengers should check train times on the internet.

A total FCC-up in fact.

Belt tightened

This from the ORR...

The Office of Rail Regulation (ORR) today welcomed Network Rail's acceptance of its determination of the company's outputs and funding for 2009-14.

Now let's see how NR cuts it's cloth.

Role of the state

***The Devil's Kitchen has an interesting piece on Government and the railways***

Police, Camera, Jail !

Good news for all those little Hitlers keen to stop photography on stations.

Jail for photographing police?

Bowler tip to Old Holborn and welcome to Britain (twinned with the DER).

UPDATE: Captain Deltic comments...

So what's new?

I was threatened with arrest when photographing the undamaged section of the train involved in the Potters Bar derailment from the adjacent Sainsbury's car park looking through a high wire fence.

I suspect that the fact that the rozzer was not wearing a hi-viz vest while walking on the track may have been a factor.

Subsequently the BTP Chief Constable thought it hilarious that one of his men had threatened to scarf up (a technical term m'lud) the Captain.

To quote a well known MP - Captain, you are a very strange man.

Can't count, won't count

Telegrammed by The Major
More mutterings about the lacklustre performance of our elected representatives at yesterday's Transport Select Committee.

The saintly Louise proved from the off that she knows little about fares.

"Most fares are up six to seven times the rate of inflation" she claims.

Errrr... that would be 18-21% (if we assume inflation to be 3%).

A figure that even Virgin dare not dream of!

Mind you, it's easy to get these things wrong when your first class travel is paid for by the tax payer.

Tornado blows NXEC away

***Some good news for Darlington based fans of the new Peppercorn kettle***

Hoodwinked!

The Transport Select Committee certainly isn't what it used to be.

At this afternoon's session MPs were particularly keen to ask questions about the infamous meeting Hoon had with franchisees on the 19th January.

Alas the sharp bus bandits outsmarted Ellman and her team.

None of those sent to represent the TOCs at the TSC had actually attended the Hoon meeting, allowing them to neatly dodge committee member questions without any risk of perjury.

Meanwhile struggling National Express played a particular blinder, fielding Paul Bunting currently MD of their Coach Division; a man who hasn't run a railway for nigh on three years!

It was beautifully done and all the more so because none of those sitting on the TSC appeared to notice!

Democratic accountability 0
Bus Bandits 3

Great leap forward syndrome

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
There is a timely article by John Kay, in today's Financial Times, nominally about what he terms Great Leap Forward Syndrome in Government.

The following extract may remind readers of a current railway project:

Great Leap Forward syndrome begins with an aspiration to remedy serious past failure with unprecedented future success.

The plan is not to imitate those who have managed things better, but to implement what they have not yet been able to accomplish.

The goal is never achieved, or is partly reached after extended delays and far more expenditure than initially envisaged.

The problems are aggravated by falsely optimistic reports of progress until, and perhaps even after, the scale of the disaster is evident.

There is much more in the same vein and all disturbingly applicable to the Frankenstein/Zombie/Camel Class train.

First cut is the deepest

This from SWT...

South West Trains today (4 February 2009) announced it is proposing to make a further reduction of 180 posts at the company as part of its ongoing review of its cost base.

The proposals, which are subject to consultation with employees, are in addition to the 480 job reductions announced last month.

Will the last one out please turn off the lights

Star struck

This from the Sun via Police News...

The BTP detective who keeps the 'Police Reporting UFO Sightings' database is convinced there is life on another planet...

Here's a special Railway Eye tip for any of our enthusiast friends bullied by petty officials whilst taking photos at stations.

Just say you're helping the BTP with their little green men enquiries!

Snow good

***A remarkably measured piece from Trixy on TOC's and snow***