Wednesday, 24 March 2010

NR fesses up on Blackfriars - Shocker

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road
Here's the Note to Editors in the Network Rail press release on the visit by the PM and the Chancellor to the new Blackfriars station this morning.

Note to editors

  • By December 2011 rail capacity into central London on the Thameslink route will increase by 3,500 seats each morning and evening compared with 2008 figures. Additional work at London Bridge (the next stage of the Thameslink Programme) will see an increase of up to 30,000 seats each morning and evening on the central London section of the Thameslink route. However, we don't know when London Bridge might be finished or what it will cost.
It's a fair cop, we may have added a sentence.

Alstom directors arrested

This from the BBC...

Three directors of French transport and infrastructure group Alstom have been arrested in a UK corruption probe, the Serious Fraud Office says.

More to follow...

More Buy-us claims - Shocker

Telegrammed by Leo Pink
In next week's Sunday Tymes - more Buy-us revelations

"I told Adonis IEP had to die"

Also revealed by the hottest lobbyist in the Westminster circus (shurley 'circuit'. Ed)

"Electrification was my idea" claims ex Transport minister

"Give Rocket a blast pipe and you'll walk the Rainhill Trials" - My advice to George Stephenson recalls Buy-us

"Think big! £5 billion subsidy is nowhere near enough" said my secret consultancy report for ATOC.

Wit and wisdom from The Thin Controller

This from the Upper House on the 18th March...

Lord O'Neill of Clackmannan (Labour)
I thank my noble friend for that reply and congratulate him on the tremendous response that his White Paper has received. I declare an interest as the chairman of the Nuclear Industry Association, whose power stations are responsible for something like 80 to 85 per cent of the electricity consumed by the British rail network; as a consequence, it is the base-load generation on which high-speed rail and an expanded electrified rail network will depend. Therefore, can he not nod too closely towards the false gods of intermittent renewable technology in preparing his plans for this exciting development in our transport system?

Lord Adonis (Secretary of State, Department for Transport; Labour)
My Lords, being an Adonis I steer clear of false gods in all their guises.

En arche en ho logos, kai ho logos en pros ton theon...

Bid for a Class 57 cabride

This just in from Tony Miles...


My good friend Charlie Hulme who runs the North Wales Coast website - one of the oldest and the best - has been given the chance to auction a cab ride in a Virgin 57/3 whilst it tows a Pendolino along the N Wales coast line in aid of Virgin's charity (with free first class tickets from anywhere on the VT network to join the train).

Any chance you can copy his posting onto Railway Eye?

No sooner said than done!

Here is Charlie's original email:

In connection with Virgin's support for the London Marathon and the CLIC Sargent childrens' cancer charity, Virgin Trains have asked me to organise bidding for a ride for two with the Driver of the Class 57/3 which hauls a Pendolino on Saturdays between Crewe and Holyhead (One of their team of drivers will be running the marathon).

A first class return ticket from any Virgin Trains-served station is included, and you can bid for either the 'down' or 'up' runs.

For info about the offer and how to bid, please CLICK HERE

UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

Let's hope the winner doesn't try to use Virgin's T-Mobile WiFi to update the world with their progress.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

TOCland issues clarion call in The Thunderer

Telegrammed by Bulldog Drummond
With all the excitement of yesterday's 'Lobbygate' an extraordinarily wooden and otiose letter in The Times may have gone unnoticed.

Signed by the great and the good of the passenger railway it ends with a clarion call designed to raise the spirits of all railwaymen, as well as admirers of the reckless use of the infinitive:

'We call on them (the main political parties) to commit to the investment to continue improving the railways making better use of the talents of train operators and creating an environment which makes rail a more attractive investment for the private sector.'

It is certain that this demand for lots more lovely lolly to go straight to TOCland will be seriously entertained by Whitehall in these straitened times.

And one can only imagine the gloom that has settled over Network Rail's Kings Place HQ, knowing that such powerful forces for change and naked self-interest have been released. Even now Iain Coucher is reported to be barely able to contain his white hot anger, having been so effectively outflanked.

Strangely one significant owning company was conspicuous by its absence from this ATOC led epistlefest.

Step forward Byers' 'client' - National Express!

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

What world are these people living in?

Everybody knows that the current cost of the railway is unsustainable.

The DfT Rail Director Technical & Professional has said in public that at current costs the railway is unsustainable

DfT and ORR have commissioned a review into Value for Money across the industry.

ORR is concerned about cost pressures on the full Thameslink programme.

DfT Rail has just decided that lengthening the rest of the Pendolino fleet does not represent value for money.

Engineering costs on Network Rail are reported to be double those of European Railways.

We face a period of unprecedented austerity in public spending.

Despite there being a war on even the Ministry of Defence has been ordered to determine the cancellation costs of every programme.

And yet here are these purported leaders of the industry asking for MORE money?

Sergeant Markoff, late of Fort Zinderneuf has advice for this multination legion of train operators.

"De merde toi Legionaire"

Which translates as "Not with my taxes"!


Monday, 22 March 2010

Sadiq says...

Via Twitter...

Just announced £235m investment for UK's 1st modern trolley bus scheme. Fantastic news for Leeds, especially on top of HS2

Pork barrels and trebles all round!

Adonis and Buy-us - the transcript

No doubt readers have seen the extraordinary piece about Stephen Buy-us in yesterday's Sunday Times?

£5,000 per day and boy, did National Express get their money's worth!

According to the Sunday Times 'a source close to Richard Bowker, who was chief executive at the time, said that the Byers version given to the undercover reporter was “pretty accurate”.'

Unbelievably Eye has come across a transcript of the very meeting between Buy-us and Adonis at which the future of NatEx was discussed!

It went something like this...


'Andrew, good to see you again. Look, you know that Richard Bowker's in a bit of a tight fix. You know a bit dicky on the cash flow and he's been a slightly reckless boy.'

'Well, we must help him out, Stephen, he really is too valuable to lose and Natex is a really great company. What do you suggest?'

'Andrew, I am not sure but just give him a bit of a bung. Nothing much, a couple of hundred mill will tide them over nicely.'

'Good as done Stephen me old mate, I'll get the cheque signed tomorrow.'

'Andrew, thanks a million, no pun intended,and by the way can I get Jo Moore to do a press release for you?'

'That's a great idea Stephen.'

You couldn't make it up.

UPDATE: This from Lobby Fodder...

It gets better.

Buy-us now claims that:

"I have never lobbied ministers on behalf of commercial organisations and have always fully disclosed my outside interests."

How does he reconcile this with his previous claim to the Sunday Times and Dispatches hacks that he had struck a secret deal with Lord Adonis last year on behalf of National Express?


UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...

So Buy-us now claims that he lied about striking a deal with Lord Adonis on behalf of National Express.

Unless of course he is lying when he says he lied - if you get my drift.

Which makes him a liar which ever way you look at it.

Do MPs still have to resign when they are caught lying or doesn't it matter now?

And if Buy-us is lying about lying where does that leave Lord Adonis?

UPDATE: This via Radio 4's World at One...

The DfT has confirmed that Lord Adonis and Stephen Byers did speak about the National Express franchise.

UPDATE: Guido launches an on-line petition...

Asking
the Queen to strip Stephen Buy-us of his Privy Council Membership

UPDATE: Lord Adonis on Byers...

Adonis confirmed this afternoon that he had had a brief conversation with Byers.

But, he said,
"I had no intention whatsoever of renegotiating on favourable terms with the company; such a move would undermine the franchise system and would not be in the interests of taxpayers."

"I have had no communication with Mr Byers since, I have not the faintest idea why he said what he said to the undercover reporter."

UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...

Adonis confirmed this afternoon that he had had a brief conversation with Byers.

But, he said, "I had no intention whatsoever of renegotiating on favourable terms with the company; such a move would undermine the franchise system and would not be in the interests of taxpayers."

Oh really?

According to DfT notes of a meeting between The Thin Controller and NX on 9 June 2009 obtained under an FoI Request:

"AA noted that for NXEC if RB said it had to come back at the end of the month and the DfT had to step in, a management contract or Section 30 would need to be put in place. The DfT would need to get its skates on to get this in place."

So in June Lord Adonis was clearly receptive to the idea of a management contract.

What changed his position and made him determined that NX would never darken another franchises door again?

Perhaps it wasn't Richard Bowker who wound him up but Byers!

UPDATE: Tom Winsor on Radio 4's PM programme....

"Some have said Stephen Byers has an ambiguous relationship with the truth".

Not a view, Tom made clear, that he shared!


After all the former Rail Regulator has first hand experience of Byers' absolute commitment to the truth, gained when the then Secretary of State for Transport forced Railtrack into Administration.

Gaspaccio anyone?

Rail debate videos on line

Videos of last Wednesday's 'Election 2010 - The Rail Debate' have been uploaded to YouTube.

Here they are, with a bowler tip to a Mr Shipley:



















An excellent evening and a highly informative debate.

Friday, 19 March 2010

Inscrutable automatic operation coming soon?

This from Lobby Fodder...

I thought Eye readers might be interested in this photo taken at Wednesday's Election 2010 Rail Debate.

It is from the CSRE stand that was at the back of the room.


Clearly CSRE plans to avoid IR issues with traincrew by having robots drive their trains.

Passenger Focus on NuTrains

A university researcher archiving the papers of the late Eric Blair has sent Eye the draft manuscript of an unfinished sequel to 1984.

Titled "2010" it paints a picture of a dystopian future so extreme it seems barely credible as this extract shows:

Chapter 1

The clocks were striking 13 when Winston Smith looked up from his celebratory 25cl 'Victory Pint' of Brown's Ale to see his brother Anthony hurrying towards the cafe tables in the dusty square. He was waving a copy of that day's 'Ultra Modern Railways Daily' and put it on the table in front of Winston before sitting.

"Look at that, brother", he said breathlessly, "16 new vehicles for the railways in the Northern and Eastern Districts - great news from the Thin Controller on a day of great news!".

A waiter limped over and put a another paper cup of beer on the table. "Enjoy this free victory pint awarded to all citizens today to mark the achievements of our brave Taliban allies" he said, reading from a scrap of card.

Winston, noting that 'Ultra Modern Railways Daily' had been expanded to a whole four pages of recycled paper, read the headline that had so excited his brother. "I bet they're all Pacers" he said morosely.

Not for the first time Anthony wondered whether all those hours in the Ministry of Roads' Room 101 watching the same IEP powerpoint presentation endlessly repeated had really removed his brother's anti-government tendencies.

"Come on", he said, "you know Pacer production has been suspended to provide more manufacturing capacity for Snatch Landrovers as part of Big Brother's open ended funding of our Comrades in Uniform. I expect they will be Class 172s from the People's Train Factory in Greater West Midlands".

At which point a bespectacled furtive looking man at the next table, with a Box Brownie camera and what looked suspiciously like a battered Platform 5 book in a brown paper cover, leant over. "They're not new trains" he whispered.

Anthony was shocked at this disrespectful challenge to the Thin Controller's munificence. "Where are they coming from then?" he snapped back.


The furtive man looked around and said "Northern District is getting 16 class 150 vehicles and passing on eight of its Class 156 vehicles to Eastern District".

Now it was Anthony's turn to look around furtively, worried that this subversive conversation might have been overheard. Worse, it was thought crime of the most heinous kind to even handle, let alone own, a Platform 5 with its photos of shiny once-new trains. But when he looked back both Winston and their neighbour had disappeared leaving their Victory Pints unfinished. Then he heard the siren as one of the black Toyotas of the Thought Police rolled cautiously into the square and came to a halt by running into a tree.

As they bundled their captive into the back of the Toyota one of the policemen said "The subversive Miles is a lucky sod - but we'll get him and his inconvenient facts sooner or later". His associate smirked "Never mind, we've got this joker and its Room 102 for him".

"Oh no" thought Anthony "not the HLOS 1300 vehicles spreadsheet!". "But I love the Thin Controller" he screamed. But no one was listening.

Thursday, 18 March 2010

ATOC announces savage new cuts - Shocker!

Eye understands that ATOC anticipates making significant savings in December.

Apparently both Rentokil (cnuts) and Brand2Life (cnuts) are no longer on the Chrizzie Card List!

However, any savings may be outweighed by the bloody good dinner owed by ATOC's media machine to uber-fisker Ben Goldacre.

National Express unveils magic bus!

This just in from a Leading Railway Periodical...


Eye salutes NXEA for managing to end Berney Arms millennia of isolation from the Queen's highway
.

Fact Compiler and Hammond fall out - Shocker

It would appear that The Fact Compiler's contribution to last night's Rail Debate was not universally welcomed.


Grin!

Adonis moves and then paints the deckchairs

This from Railnews...

THE rebranding of East Coast last November cost £634,842, of which taxpayers had to find £339,190, according to official figures.

What a fabulous use of public funds!

Eye salutes The Thin Controller, DafT and Directly Operated Railways for enriching the vinyl makers.


A letter from Iain Coucher

This from Network Rail's Internet Rapid Rebuttal Unit...


Click to enlarge...

SWT now employs Thought Police - Official

This just in from Barry Spotter...

Nice to see that South West Trains are taking the security of their passengers seriously.

Not only are cameras on the "verboten" list but so apparently is writing things down!

This from The News:

Musician Tom Shaw was stunned when he was kicked off a train - for writing a list of songs.

I suppose the gentleman in question must be thanking his stars that his musical taste is middle of the road.

Megadeath's "Symphony of Destruction" would probably have involved imprisonment...

Get a grip Souter!

Adonis secures HS2 funding - Shocker

This from Bushy...

It seems the printed copies of the HS2 report have already run out!

And at £26 a pop Adonis must be over half way towards paying for the new line already!

Eye is in awe of the Noble Lord's fiscal acumen!

Pointless signs - InterCity 225 loo

This just in from 62700...

Another pointless sign for your ongoing series, snapped (very badly) on an East Coast IC225 yesterday.


Not that I make a habit of taking snapshots in toilets, you understand.

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

HS2 - Recusancy Corner

Telegrammed by Lord Burleigh the Lord Chancellor of England
Whilst the nation rushes to embrace The Thin Controller's vision of a High Speed Jerusalem, it would appear that recusant Old Believers still exist.

Here for instance is a new blog dedicated to renouncing the so called 'High Speed Heresy'.

Eye calls upon the Noble Lord to protect the True Religion and declare Anathema on these false prophets.

Can we also burn a couple at the stake like in the good old days? (This can't be right? Ed)

UPDATE: This from the Major...

The Major wonders if my Lord Burleigh had any particular couple in mind for burning.

Or would any Sid and Doris Bonkers suffice?

Lord Burleigh suggests that there are one or two candidates in the Department who might benefit from an Auto de fe.

UPDATE: This from Ibilola1...

Does Captain Deltic's support for a 4 track electrified 125mph Chiltern Line (Modern Railways, March 2010) make him a recusant Old Believer?