With a bowler tip to @johnpopham, via Twitter.
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Hulleys’ Closure - My Thoughts
1 year ago
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Villiers vignettes... apology accepted
Regular readers may recollect that Eye took the Saviour of the Jammy Dodger to task on Monday 12th July for misleading the House about rolling stock orders.
Clearly someone has been reading Eye, for lo and behold Cruella had to deliver this Ministerial Correction yesterday (19th July):
Theresa Villiers (Minister of State (Rail and Aviation), Transport; Chipping Barnet, Conservative)
I regret to inform the House that there was an inaccuracy in the answer I gave to parliamentary question 4042 on 7 July 2010, Hansard, column 265W, about what new rolling stock orders have been placed for each rail franchise since 2007.
The table was incomplete and omitted the order, placed in April 2009 by National Express East Anglia, for 120 new EMU vehicles.
The full table is reproduced below.
| Franchise | Order date | Type | Vehicles |
| Southern | May-07 | EMU | 48 |
| London Midland | Aug-07 | EMU | 148 |
| London Midland | Dec-07 | DMU | 69 |
| Chiltern Railway | Jan-08 | DMU | 8 |
| Southern | Mar-08 | EMU | 44 |
| Virgin West Coast | Sep-08 | EMU | 106 |
| National Express East Anglia | Apr-09 | EMU | 120 |
Just fancy that!
UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic, the HLOS Vehicle Finder General...
There you are Theresa, doesn't that feel better?
Now what about the 8th June table you published?
Yes, the Table with the double counting I mentioned to Philip Hammond's SpAd at the time?
And has the civil servant responsible now been transferred to work on TramTrains?
30% dissatisfied with rail ticket purchasing
Telegrammed by Our Man at 222 Marylebone Road
Clearly the train operators are living in a parallel universe when an SWT press release can glibly say:
"Passenger Focus research, shows around seven in every 10 customers are satisfied with rail ticket purchasing facilities".
And they expect us to consider this a major achievement?
Out in the real world, for any business to have an activity which left 30% of customers dissatisfied would see a rapid change in the management responsible.
Especially since this is the operation which delivers cash flow.
Perhaps Petrol-head should invite Archie Norman or Sir Stuart Rose to run the retail side of franchises?
Tomorrow's NR annual meeting - a swan song?
Tomorrow is Network Rail's annual meeting where the company's Members will fail to hold it to account.
Eye offers the following directions and guidance to NR members in advance of the meeting.
Enjoy the moment, savour the food and drink, contribute proportionately to Iain Coucher's farewell present, avoid being seen with Tony Berkeley and don't forget to vote for everything the company proposes.
But it might be wise not to say 'see you next year'...
Meanwhile, back in the real world, don't expect huge interest in NR's CEO vacancy following these wise words from Hammond and McNulty delivered at the latest value for money workshop yesterday:
Petrol-head: "The current set-up is an enormously complex and elaborate structure to deliver pseudo market forces... The passenger is at the margin of influencing things."
McNulty: "Is the current set-up conducive to cost reduction and value for money... (it was) established without reference to these objectives. Radical change is required otherwise the end result will not be very different from what we see today."
One piece of good news.
The post McNulty world looks like affording plenty of free diary time to former NR members and directors alike.
UPDATE: This from Ithuriel...
Make your mind up Sir Roy.
You say:
"Radical change is required otherwise the end result will not be very different from what we see today."
But in the foreword to your recent scoping study you said that the choice is between "changing the way we operate or decreasing the size and the quality of the network."
Which sounds very different "from what we see today"!
Monday, 19 July 2010
Who should replace Coucher - one for the Ladies?
Network Rail has done much to encourage the role of ladies in the industry, despite suggestions to the contrary (see Private Eye passim).
As Iain Coucher spake but recently:
“We want the best to work for us – both men and women – and I hope that as we continue to show our modern business and the opportunities that we offer that we can attract exceptional women to apply for these roles and be part of something fantastic.”
A part of something fantastic indeed!
With Iain's words ringing in our ears Eye readers are invited to use their skill and judgement to decide which of these Wimmin of Power should be Network Rail's new CEO.
- Margaret Thatcher - approved more electrified routes miles than any other Prime Minister and delivered a new railway to Abroad!
- Imelda Marcos - expert on procurement.
- Pollyanna Walker - already has a team second guessing NR's every move.
- Jo Kaye - expert on delivering small improvement schemes (eg Workington North) that don't eat into Director's bonuses (Shurely 'cost a fortune'? Ed)
- Boadicea - skilled at reducing headcount, usually by cutting off below the knees (That's enough powerful ladies. Ed).
UPDATE: Sadly Blogger's crappy poll gadget isn't working, so just pretend you are an NR Director, pull a number out of the air and then remind yourself that you are worth it.
Colonel Michael Cobb RIP
Sad news indeed.
This from the Daily Telegraph...
Colonel Michael Cobb, who has died aged 93, was a regular Army officer who in retirement produced the definitive historical atlas of the railways of Great Britain, becoming on the strength of it the oldest person ever to receive a PhD from Cambridge University, at the age of 91.
The Railways of Great Britain - Historical Atlas is a wonderful piece of work, useful to professionals and enthusiasts alike.
If you ain't got one - buy one now.
If you have one, then buy another!
Good effort Colonel Michael Cobb and requiescat in pace.
Train Police Warn on Shopping-trolleys
Eye salutes our brave Boys in Blue!
This piece of super sleuthing from the British Transport Police website:
POLICE APPEAL AFTER TRAIN STRIKES ABANDONED SHOPPING TROLLEY – AXMINSTER
Shocking news indeed!
Helpfully the BTP website also shows an image of exactly how disruptive the remains of a shopping trolley in the four foot can be!
But what's this?
Errr... chaps, exactly how many of these 'trolley' remains have you discovered?
Railway Garden Competition - Bletchley
Welcome to Bletchley - the winner of this week's "Can't be Arzed Award".
A veritable celebration of wilful neglect.
Now if TOCs like London Midland can't be trusted in the small things, like keeping platforms weed free, then what on earth makes ATOC think that they can be trusted to deliver on the really exacting demands of longer franchises?
Either way it's time for Captain Permatan, or his London Midland minions, to splash out on some Round-Up, and pretty damn quick!
The advert for the NR CEO job has appeared...
This from Jumbo...
In spite of his endorsement by Eye readers, General Stan McChrystal is unlikely to take the job when he reads the job application guff that appeared in the Sunday Times and Sunday Telegraph yesterday.
"An instinct for pushing the boundaries of pace, ambition and innovation to the edge of possibility" may appeal to recruitment consultants but is hardly likely to attract a real candidate of action.
So maybe, the Eye should put together an alternative job specification.
To start the process how about?
- To reduce the cost of Network Rail to the taxpayer in a way that minimises the impact on passengers and freight customers
- To stop the company kidding themselves that trains that arrive 10 minutes late are on time
- To increase capacity on the network by reducing the padding in train schedules
- To argue the case that capacity on the network should be increased by the use of longer trains that optimise the number of seats per train path.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
ORR - qui custodiet ipsos custodes?
Telegrammed by Bulldog Drummond
The Sunday Times today features Anna 'Pollyanna' Walker as its page 5 girl.
Perhaps not a surprise that in the accompanying photo Pollyanna has such a big grin.
As the Sunday Times notes she left the Healthcare Commission with a bung of £250k plus pension payments before gliding into the ORR on £120k a year.
Not bad for someone whose knowledge of railways is limited to rail journeys from Paddington to Ludlow, supplemented by occasional visits to hear Iain Coucher's excellent and balanced views on how the railways should be run.
Meanwhile, as We Are All In It Together, anyone care to speculate how much Pollyanna has trimmed from ORR's budget and headcount over the last year?
Pointless signs - Cadogan Tate
With a bowler tip to Turbostar...
Cadogan Tate - "Everything handled with care"
Indeed not.
Over 90 MPs sign EDM in support of railway
Eye has stumbled across the following Early Day Motion in support of continued capital investment in the railway.
ECONOMIC EFFECTS OF RAIL TRANSPORT
17.06.2010
That this House recognises that Britain relies on rail transport; notes that every year 1.3 billion passenger journeys are made by rail and that rail freight carries 100 million tonnes of goods; further recognises that at peak times the busiest parts of the rail network are full, trains are overcrowded and that passenger and freight demand continue to grow; notes that the annual cost of road congestion to the economy is already estimated to be £7-8 billion; believes that investment in infrastructure is necessary to stimulate business investment in Britain's towns and cities and boost economic recovery; further recognises that current major rail capacity enhancement projects bring economic benefits to Britain; and calls on the Government to consider the economic benefits of rail schemes when determining value for money projects in the Comprehensive Spending Review.
You can find the EDM here as well as the list of the 91 MPs that have signed it thus far (as at today).
Eye readers whose MPs are missing from the list may wish to give them a gentle nudge...
Guardian Angels - 1C84
This from Lock and Load...
1C84 1306 PAD - PNZ hit a tree in the Woodborough area on Saturday 10/07.
Suspected cause of the tree on the line was the embankment moving following the very dry spell.
Driver very lucky with only minor injuries. No pax casualties etc...
Gosh!!!
The IEP is dead - long live Mercury
Telegrammed by Leo Pink
Full marks for timing to Industrial Stylists Priestmangoode.
The whizzy design house obviously had some spare time on the Computer Graphics terminal and come up with this totally impractical, but amazingly sexy, front end for what they claim is the concept for the UK’s newest high speed train.
We love the six inch high multipane windscreen which looks as if it was cribbed from the Starship Enterprise.
Or, could those be disco lights underneath an amazingly swept back windscreen.
It's been unveiled as a pre-emptive move to persuade the government of the urgent need to move forward as soon as possible with the high speed line project.
Called Mercury, its progenitors say it could be the 'new Great British design icon, following in the footsteps of Concorde, the Spitfire, Rolls Royce and the Routemaster bus and reawakening Britain’s authority as a global leader in design and technology'.
Shouldn't Kenneth Grange's timeless IC125 front end be in that list?
According to the aponymous Paul Priestman, 'designer of the iconic Virgin Pendolino' "whilst the economic and political benefits of a world-class high speed rail network are clearly understood, having a train to be proud of is equally important".
If only Stuart Baker had thought of building national pride into IEP's incredible shrinking Benefit Cost Ratio!
But forget the exterior of the train, "designed to emulate design classics such as Concorde, the Spitfire and Rolls Royce", what about the interior? Grab this!!
Introducing an entirely new concept in the way we travel, the train will incorporate a flexible, open plan design allowing for interaction, space and relaxation without compromising privacy. Both commuting and longer haul journeys will be more relaxed, comfortable and akin to modern living, featuring traditional commuter seats (designed to incorporate in-transit entertainment systems) alongside private berths – for families, private parties or business meetings echoing the nostalgia of compartmental train travel. A children’s play area will be integrated into the train and a luxury first class section will mirror the choice offered to air travellers with a luxury lounge and bar.
At last the pleas of the sage of Effingham Junction for compartmental stock have fallen on a receptive ear.
Can it ever happen?
Well as Priestmangoode point out. "Britain has an unrivalled record of great transport engineering projects – a record that died with Concorde".
Along with 75 Germans, if we recall rightly.
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Villiers makes lasting contribution to Crossrail
More good news from Marsham Street.
Civil Servants have finally found a use for Jammy Dodgers saviour Theresa Villiers.
And once Theresa is firmly embedded in the Crossrail project she will no longer have to worry about opening those tedious Red Boxes.
Lookalike - Leading Edge Technology
UPDATE: This from Steve Strong...
If only the 172's could be fixed by the application of a £25 elastic band...
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