An open letter to Justine Greening

This open letter to Justine Greening has been copied into Eye by a Mr Reginald Perrin of Sunshine Desserts...

Dear Mrs Greening

I understand that your Department has today confirmed yet another timetable slippage - this time involving the order for new Thameslink rolling stock which will now not be signed until the New Year.

If I might paraphrase the letter I previously sent to the Traffic Manager, British Rail (Southern Region):

It is rapidly becoming apparent to me that your officials are not only not competent enough to hold their jobs, but they could not even run a game of strip-poker in a Turkish brothel.

It should be obvious, even to a retarded Belgian hamster, that all of your train orders should be re-timed to take eleven months longer.

Yours Faithfully,
Reginald I. Perrin