Worst dining experience

Telegrammed by The Master
Intending bon viveurs aboard today's 12:06 Paddington to Penzance soon wished they had packed their sarnies.

The train had just reached Reading, 30 minutes into the five hour journey, when the Chief Steward announced the "last and final" call for luncheon!

As the next stop was Exeter and the train was near full it was a pretty piss-poor show.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, plucky National Express East Anglia manage multiple sittings on their London - Norwich services (with more stops and a shorter journey time).

It has come to a pretty pass when the little Great Eastern can show the mighty Great Western how on-train catering should be done. Mind you with Worst in charge of the latter nothing should come as a surprise.

Now is the winsor of our discontent

Telegrammed by our man at 222 Marylebone Road

The Salon des Refusés of those suitably qualified railway people who have applied for Network Rail public membership and been rejected is filling up nicely for 2008.

Whilst, as expected, Captain Deltic has been denied for the third time, Network Rail seems to be reverting to aversion therapy to deter others.

One highly qualified applicant, who was rejected last year, was personally invited by Network Rail to apply this year - only to be turned-down again.

Network Rail refuses to give specific reasons for individual rejections.

Is this legal?

Are any of Railway Eye's m'learned friends up for a pro-bono judicial review?

It's a wind up

Much excitement in the freight community.

According to HM Courts Service there was a hearing on the 16th July into winding up Advenza Freight, the Cotswold Group's railfreight arm.

The reference for those keen to learn more is: 3369/2008 Advenza Freight Limited.

As the company is still trading it appears that the case was dismissed.

The Fact Compiler is unsurprised. Cotswold is often better known by its sobriquet 'Cost-loads'.

Qui custodes

Telegrammed by our independent expert
Now is the time of year when that brave band of railway experts who apply to become public members of Network Rail's board receive their ritual rejection letters.

NR Directors, of course, don't want any outsider with rail expertise on the board, because they might get found out.

One applicant, who is a leading railway journalist in the national press, received a mealy-mouthed letter of rejection saying the selection panel's "focus was not confined to an appreciation of railway-related issues."

So what on earth should Public Members "focus" on, if not "railway-related issues"?

Presumably the continued approval of fat bonuses for NR's porky top team despite the company's shiite performance?

It's a bit like Tesco recruiting Directors who have no interest in retail.

String 'em up

A thug who glassed a security guard at Grays railway station has been locked up for just 15-months.

Neanderthal yob Lee Senk rammed a glass in the security guard's face which sliced clean through the middle of his upper lip and smashed his front teeth.

“This conviction should serve as as warning to anyone who assaults rail or security staff that the sentence imposed reflects the seriousness of the incident.” said PC Tim Hewitt.

Who are you kidding?

Read the sorry tale here.

Flat fleet

Telegrammed by The Raver
Judging by his latest rant in Rail the batteries on Nigel Harris's calculator need changing.

He claims that the average age of rolling stock has halved since the bad old days of British Rail, which implies that at privatisation the average age of the passenger fleet was 26 years old.

In fact the true figure was closer to 14.5 years, not a great deal different from that of today.

Part of the reason for the higher average fleet age at privatisation was that the Sectors had been astute enough to retain some vehicles for seasonal peaks in traffic.

With today's chronic shortage of rolling stock what a far sighted policy that now appears.

Thank You

A big thank you to readers of Railway Eye.

Especially to colleagues in the industry who have 'put the word around'.

Our 5,000th reader logged on today.

Gordon - you're supposed to be on holiday!

Trying the patience of Job

DfT has finally made the decision on who will manage the addition of desperately needed new vehicles to the Pendolino fleet.

First the good news!

Daft have confirmed the work definitely isn't going to be done by Virgin Trains (prop. Richard Branson).

Next the better news!

DafT have announced that the work will be done by a completely different company called "Virgin Rail Projects" (prop. Beardie Jumper).

Finally the best news!

The announcement was made today when Parliament wasn't sitting and MPs are on their summer break; thus avoiding any awkward questions about the whole sorry, convoluted and costly process.

Below a DafT official shows his contempt for Virgin's original Pendolino lengthening plan. Had this been adopted the first additional vehicles would already be in revenue earning service.


View DfT release here

M' learned friend

Tom Winsor, former Rail Regulator, has an article in today's Times on the role of industry regulators.

Tom writes:

"Regulation is not the dryly technocratic function that it sometimes appears, practised by robotic economists and pernickety lawyers with an over-keen interest in the minutiae of compliance handbooks."

Err... if you say so Tom.

And no one at home

The Fact Compiler has received an intriguing invitation to the Weardale Railway's 1940's themed 'War on the Line' event this weekend (2nd & 3rd of August).

Entering into the spirit of the occasion the Weardale's website promises gunfire, unexploded bombs and air raids.

Unfortunately the railway is one kettle short of a service and is therefore having to use a modern diesel as traction over the weekend.

Unabashed by such operating vicissitudes the website offers the following creative explanation:

"Trains: NB: Due to a direct hit the steam engine is out of commission. The Class 73 diesel will be operating the service between Wolsingham and Stanhope. (Diesel engines were used during the war – the advantage being that during air-raids the lights on the whole train could be switched off all at once)."

Perhaps a perfect illustration of the danger of trusting your PR department to dig you out of a hole. The Fact Compiler fears that the train may not be alone in having its lights out...

UPDATE: Telegrammed by our man in the flying goggles: The main use of loco sized diesel engines during the war was to power the vessels of our gallant submariners (and of course the despicable Hun U-Boats). Warming to his theme Capt. Biggles claimed that replacing a kettle with a class 73 is similar to replacing a Spitfire with a Hawker Hunter!

At one with nature

Good news for tree huggers.

According to the Environment Times London Underground manages 10 per cent of the Capital's biodiversity.

More than 200 trackside sites, totaling almost 2,000 acres, have been identified as Sites of Importance for Nature Conservation.

And in recent years an impressive 550 plant species, 42 types of bird, 14 mammals, and 538 invertebrates have been recorded on LU's network.

Presumably the remaining 90% of London's bio-diversity is to be found, unmanaged, on Network Rail infrastructure.

Oyster in BBQ Sauce

The TranSys' summer BBQ was an unusually subdued affair last Wednesday (23rd July) .

In previous years the Smartcard PFI Contractor has been besieged by TfL staff begging to attend the annual shindig.

However, this year even those with much sought after tickets pleaded prior engagements of the 'underwater knitting' variety.

Regular visitors to Railway Eye may recollect that there have been a number of issues in recent weeks with Oyster card readers.

Surely TfL bosses weren't small minded enough to suggest that staff attending the do might find it "career limiting"?

Silly old goat

The Fact Compiler was tempted to ask whether this BBC headline perhaps referred to the Chairman of a major infrastructure company?

Grazing goat causes train delay

Fortunately he has decided not to give into this temptation.

Clunking Fist shifts gear

Telegrammed from our man in 222 Marylebone Road
Gordon Brown, speaking at last week's Motorshow, said that the rising cost of oil meant that road transport had reached "an historic point'" at which green alternatives should be considered.

"This has opened up a huge opportunity for technological innovation. It is a once-in-a-generation opportunity" claimed the PM.


Since the same argument applies to rail, can we finally expect the PM to support our very own "Apostle of the Pantograph" (pictured above) and commit to a rolling programme of electritication?

Cost control

From today's Standard.

"It could cost £50 million to convert the mothballed Waterloo Eurostar station into a commuter terminal".

Why?

For the record it cost a mere £135m to build. Read the Evening Standard article here

Simon Dean RIP

***Simon Dean, flamboyant former member of the team that delivered Royal Assent to Crossrail, has died.***

XC blockade

Telegrammed by our man in ICOBS
Arriva Cross Country has decided to dispense with the ludicrously named "Shops" aboard the former 'Virgin' Voyager fleet.

Arriva says "customer research" indicates that passengers would prefer an at seat trolley service.


The Fact Compiler suspects that the researchers may have faired better than the trolley service in getting through this train.

Railway Garden Competition #6

Leamington SpaWhat a splendid piece of partnership.

Notice how the flower baskets, paid for by local citizens, are beautifully framed by the thrusting NR buddleia which at the same time is busy undermining the masonry of the bridge abutments.

It's good to see Network Rail's complimentary approach to vegetation management.

Overheads

Good news from Network Rail.

The following request has been circulated to members of the Best Practice Club

Budget Control, Network Rail
We are looking for ways to reduce the bureaucratic overhead of budget approval and control. We need to maintain the same level of control but with a ‘lead’ process. We are very interested to hear from companies who have remodelled their budget control processes.

The Fact Compiler suggests removing very expensive Directors from the approvals process, or indeed payroll, may achieve the desired results.

Do the math

Telegrammed from our man in 222 Marylebone Road
According to the press this weekend the Ministry of Defence has a £2bn hole in its budget.

This may lead the MoD to cancel or defer the improved Lynx helicopter so desperately needed by our gallant troops in Afghanistan.

Meanwhile, in Modern Railways, Captain Deltic says the difference between the amount which Network Rail says it needs for the next five years and that which the ORR says it is going to get is now £2.58 billion.

So, a matter of life and death versus the high-life and bonuses.